Ep. 145 Stop Beating Yourself Up

The Manspace

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Come on now, space-cyborg! You're not so bad! In fact, I dare say you might even be a real stand-up guy. Probably doing better than you think. And we'll talk about that today on The Manspace.
Matt, Mike, and Rob explore how we beat ourselves up and hold ourselves to unrealistic standards that usually do us no good. We'll talk about self-compassion and will say it in the most cheesy, unsettling of ways. So, pull up a chair. Be nice to yourself. Listen to The Manspace.

Keywords

self-demanding behavior, beating oneself up, nice guy syndrome, internal struggle, negative self-talk, self-compassion, grace, unconditional love, external criticism, projection, defense mechanism, self-doubt, acceptance, kindness, limitations, comparative language, integrity

Takeaways

• Self-demanding behavior and beating oneself up can be overlapping and interconnected.
• Self-compassion and grace are important in counteracting negative self-talk and high self-demands.
• External criticism can confirm and amplify negative self-perception.
• Projection of buried grievances onto others is a defense mechanism.
• Understanding and addressing these patterns can lead to healthier self-perception and relationships. Avoid self-blame and negative self-talk when facing challenges or setbacks.
• Practice self-compassion by accepting and acknowledging your struggles.
• Talk to yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would to a good friend.
• Recognize your limitations and focus on your strengths.
• Avoid comparing yourself to others and prioritize your own values and beliefs.
• Maintain integrity by aligning your actions with your personal values.

Sound Bites

• "That self-demanding part of myself pushes me to go over the top and over function for them too."
• "Treating myself like a human being and being kind to myself feels really calming."
• "I hate when clients say stuff like, 'I know, I suck at everything.' Don't do that, man."
• "The markers we have that we are doing a good job... They're not usually quantifiable."
• "What's the limits of self-compassion? What's the limits of self-care? There has to be limits."

Chapters

00:00
Navigating the Internal Struggle: Self-Criticism and Mental Health

09:53
The 'Nice Guy' Syndrome: Impact of Societal Standards

20:56
Navigating Self-Compassion and Integrity

28:17
The Struggle with Negative Self-Talk

43:25
Balancing Inner Dialogue and Recognizing Limitations

01:03:08
Aligning Actions with Core Values

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