Episode 257 – Unstoppable Master Teacher and Skill Builder with Abigail Stason

Unstoppable Mindset

Abigail, (Abby), Stason is all that. Abby grew up in New Jersey and eventually served in a 20-year career with Wall Street firms including Meryl Lynch. She was a sales leader and worked to train and supervise brokers. Eventually, she decided to leave the financial world and begin her own company, Abigail Stason LLC., to teach people about skill building and authenticity. Today she works with individuals, teams and companies to help them become more authentic and truer to what they do. Abby and I get to have a good conversation all about authenticity and truth. We discuss the many complexities around truth and authentic behavior that we face today. At one point I ask Abby if she feels that our world regarding truth and being authentic is more complex today than in the past. Her answer is quite interesting. Listen and see what you think. About the Guest: Abigail “Abby” Stason (she/her/hers) is a master teacher and skill builder. A former Wall Street executive, in 2010, Abby left a 19-year career to become an entrepreneur. She is passionate about championing equality and human development. Abby uses neuroscience to convert abstract learning concepts into pragmatic practices that apply in our day-to-day world. Abby equips human beings and leaders with behavioral skills for a modern world and global gig economy. Abby is the author of Evolution Revolution: Conscious Leadership In An Information Age, a handbook of human and leadership development skills that she converted to e-learning programs. Her mission is to be an exceptional partner to the human race and planet and to facilitate global consciousness. Abby enjoys the outdoors in all forms: hiking, cycling, snowshoeing, and swimming. You will find her strolling through a farmers’ market for fresh produce to experiment with new recipes or at a coffee shop enjoying a matcha latte. She also volunteers for her teacher’s foundation, the Gangaji Foundation Prison Program. Ways to connect with Abigail: https://abigailstason.com https://consciousleadership.online/home https://www.linkedin.com/in/abigailstason/ About the Host: Michael Hingson is a New York Times best-selling author, international lecturer, and Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe. Michael, blind since birth, survived the 9/11 attacks with the help of his guide dog Roselle. This story is the subject of his best-selling book, Thunder Dog. Michael gives over 100 presentations around the world each year speaking to influential groups such as Exxon Mobile, AT&T, Federal Express, Scripps College, Rutgers University, Children’s Hospital, and the American Red Cross just to name a few. He is Ambassador for the National Braille Literacy Campaign for the National Federation of the Blind and also serves as Ambassador for the American Humane Association’s 2012 Hero Dog Awards. https://michaelhingson.com https://www.facebook.com/michael.hingson.author.speaker/ https://twitter.com/mhingson https://www.youtube.com/user/mhingson https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelhingson/ accessiBe Links https://accessibe.com/ https://www.youtube.com/c/accessiBe https://www.linkedin.com/company/accessibe/mycompany/ https://www.facebook.com/accessibe/ Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can subscribe in your favorite podcast app. You can also support our podcast through our tip jar https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/unstoppable-mindset . Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you have a minute, please leave an honest review on Apple Podcasts. Transcription Notes:

Michael Hingson ** 00:00 Access Cast and accessiBe Initiative presents Unstoppable Mindset. The podcast where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. Hi, I'm Michael Hingson, Chief Vision Officer for accessiBe and the author of the number one New York Times bestselling book, Thunder dog, the story of a blind man, his guide dog and the triumph of trust. Thanks for joining me on my podcast as we explore our own blinding fears of inclusion unacceptance and our resistance to change. We will discover the idea that no matter the situation, or the people we encounter, our own fears, and prejudices often are our strongest barriers to moving forward. The unstoppable mindset podcast is sponsored by accessiBe, that's a c c e s s i capital B e. Visit www.accessibe.com to learn how you can make your website accessible for persons with disabilities. And to help make the internet fully inclusive by the year 2025. Glad you dropped by we're happy to meet you and to have you here with us. Michael Hingson ** 01:21 Well, welcome once again to unstoppable mindset where inclusion, diversity and the unexpected meet. And from my perspective, the unexpected part is what makes it the most fun. We get to do all sorts of unexpected things from time to time, and we'll see what happens with our guest this week, Abby Stason, who is a master teacher and is very much involved in dealing with the world of humanity and being very concerned about people, and I don't want to give any more away, because I think it'll be a whole lot more fun to hear it from her. So, Abby, welcome to unstoppable mindset. We're glad you're here. Abby Stason ** 01:57 Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here, and you know, I just lit up. Also when you said unexpected, the unexpected happens when we're inclusive and we don't know what's going to happen, and that's where the interesting stuff happens. Yeah, Michael Hingson ** 02:11 that's what makes it the most fun. I love telling a story about one person that was on our podcast a long time ago now, gosh, almost two years ago, he was a software engineer, and he lives in Southern California, in an area called Dana Point loves to swim in the ocean. And he, while we were talking, talked about the fact that he went in the ocean once in the winter, and he decided after that that he was going to swim every every chance he got in the ocean, whether it was winter or summer. And I asked him about being afraid in the in the winter, and he said, Well, it was a little bit daunting. The first time I went into the water, it was 55 degrees. And he said, I noticed that the closer I got to the water, the slower I moved, and I wasn't sure I wanted to do this. And then he finally just said, I'm going to bite the bullet and do it. And he jumped in. He said it was only a couple seconds. He was used to it, and he's been swimming in the water, even in the winter without a wetsuit, ever since, and he swum nose to nose with dolphins and other things like that. So he's had a lot of fun doing it, but then that led to a 10 minute discussion between us on the whole subject of fear, which is not anything that either of us anticipated talking about. So the unexpected is definitely a part of what we Abby Stason ** 03:34 do. Yeah, and I applaud him. I would need a wetsuit to do that, yeah, to overcome my fear. I need a wet suit. And you know, I appreciate you always in the discussions we've had and how you hold it, this is an inclusion and diversity can be a heavy topic, but I appreciate how you hold it lightly. And you know, let's have some fun, because if we take it all too seriously, that's when we get a little bit in our own ways. Michael Hingson ** 04:02 Well, yeah, I think the problem also is that people take it, I won't say way too seriously, but they take it in a way where it ends up really being much more divisive or non inclusive, or less diverse. I just had a conversation with someone who is a guest on our podcast, and we were talking about disabilities, and I said the biggest problem that I see is that people with disabilities are not really included in the conversation in so many different ways. We we we don't talk about disabilities, we don't talk about people with disabilities, and we're left out. And I've said, I said to him, one of the things that I've heard from a few people who have been on experts on diversity, is, but disability is it starts with this. It's not you're it is not the same. I. Yeah, and my point is, disability exactly is the same, because every single person on the planet has a disability, and reality is so disability starts with dis, so does disciple, so does discrete, so does discern, and yet we don't regard those in a negative context. So the reality is, we can re evaluate and change how we view some of the words that we use. And as I've indicated to people on this podcast as well, every person on the planet has a disability, and I can make that case very, very well. We won't spend a lot of time on that here, but I could make that case and point out that everyone has a disability of some sort. Abby Stason ** 05:40 I would echo that. That, yeah, that's, that's well said, Actually, and I'm pretty appreciating what I'm learning already, of course. But yeah, you know, agreed. And can we just see each other as humans? Just we're all humans. Disability Michael Hingson ** 05:56 really needs to be viewed as not some thing that a few people have that makes them less than us, but disability is a characteristic that manifests itself differently, but for everyone you know, and the argument that I make is most all of you are light dependent, and from my perspective, that makes you awfully disabled compared to me, because I don't have to worry about whether the lights are on and, and the reality is, though, that your disability is covered up by light bulbs and by so many other ways that light on demand is made available today and, and that's fine, but don't knock the rest of us just because We don't happen to have the problem that you do when you think that you're superior, because you can go turn a flashlight on, or start a flashlight on a phone if, if power goes out, that works only if you have the device. And so your devices cover up your disability, but doesn't change the fact that it's there. Yeah, and, Abby Stason ** 07:00 and, you know, society tries to tell us what ability or disability is. What if we just flip those? Yeah, you know, what if we what if we just flip those? Because that's where we have to get past societal conditioning. Who, who decides who to say, who's disabled or not? I mean, yeah, we're all human beings, if we can look past the surface to see that we have, you know, we're all the same. And, yeah, to get past societal conditioning on who we say is better than less than or what the expectations are, you know, and how we set up our lives and systems around that. I think it's a it's a good inquiry and a good investigation, and something for us all to continue to talk about and to bring to light. Michael Hingson ** 07:49 Yeah, I think it is something that's very important to do, and hopefully more of us will do it over time. Well, Abby Stason ** 07:55 that's why you know what you're up to is so important, and you inviting me into this discussion and others into the discussion you're leading away with it. So I appreciate being here, and I'm proud to be sitting here next to you over technology. Well, thank Michael Hingson ** 08:10 you. It's good to have this opportunity and get a chance to visit. Tell me a little bit about the early Abbey, growing up and all that stuff. Abby Stason ** 08:18 Yeah, the early Abbey, the early Abbey. That'd Michael Hingson ** 08:21 be a great TV that's a great title for a TV or radio show, the early Abbey. I was watching on I was watching on TV, looking at a guide, and there was a show, and my wife and I used to watch it, The New Adventures of Old Christine. So we can talk about the early Abbey. Abby Stason ** 08:40 The early Abby, there's a bit of, you know, it's a bit of excitement, a bit of drama, a bit of sadness, but, you know, I was born and raised, am I going to go through my entire life to end here? Whatever Michael Hingson ** 08:51 you'd like to Yeah, yeah, Abby Stason ** 08:53 I was born and raised in New Jersey, and you know, where, very early age, where I knew that, you know, one thing that I always loved is the truth. I loved hearing the truth no matter what it is, whether it's, you know, I'll use these words, good, bad, or whatever. But I love the truth. And I noticed that people around me didn't love the truth. So I at, you know, at times I kind of, you know, I was active, I had a healthy life, and all that. But one thing that in throughout my lifetime, which I'm bringing this up, because it brings me to today, is that I was penalized for telling the truth. It wasn't popular for telling the truth, you know, and and I really struggled with that. I mean, I'm a privileged person, and I always, yeah, I always had an internal disconnect with that. But I love the truth no matter what it is. And I find myself today now just getting very excited about the truth, the truth in myself. You know, when I screw things up to the truth and what's happening anywhere to the truth around inclusion? And diversity? Yeah, so it was pretty, I pretty, pretty much compacted myself and didn't align with who I was, because it wasn't always comfortable to tell the truth. Because, you know, to, you know, I'm LGBTQ, I'm a woman's you know, if you're in a environment where being a female, you're suppressed, and you try to tell the truth about what you want, or if you try to tell the truth that you're in love with someone of the same sex, you know, that was penalized. So I really struggled as a youth trying to tell the truth. And so today we come full circle. I'm just, you know the truth is it for me, I'm, you know, I love the truth. So you know, admitting when I make mistakes, and telling the truth about that to the truth of what's happening in the world, or any of it, and not calling it, any of it, good, bad, right, wrong, you know. And I spent, you know, 20 years on Wall Street, and you can imagine truth telling, talk about truth Yeah, you know, or lack thereof, yeah, right. Truth telling in Wall Street was, was something of a, you know, yeah, kind of like avoiding the truth a little bit the corporate world can be, you know, lifted to an art form, you know what I mean. So that's why I always kind of grappled with that. And, you know, and that's one of the reasons I left was to, you know, really start telling the truth. And what it comes down to is being more conscious. In essence, Michael Hingson ** 11:27 where in New Jersey are you from? Abby Stason ** 11:29 I am from, you know, a very small town. Everyone says Now everyone I'm listening on this is probably she doesn't have an accent, although some people will pick up sliced trace, traces of so I can hear a little, yeah, I was just gonna say you're probably picking up on it. I'm from a very small town in Warren County New Jersey called Belvidere. Okay, right on the Delaware River, right? Yeah, okay. I lived Michael Hingson ** 11:51 in, I lived in Westfield for six years. Oh, great, yeah. Abby Stason ** 11:54 So Westfield, so, you know, you know, you know Belvedere, and you know some people, it's not like Newark for the viewers listening, and it's the farmland of New Jersey. And, you know, we used to go sleigh riding, and lakes would freeze over. We'd go ice skating and all that. We never locked the doors. Went to the shore every year. Michael Hingson ** 12:15 What's, what's really funny about Westfield for me is that before we moved there, we had selected property and then chose to build a house, because my wife was in a wheelchair her whole life, and so we chose to build a house, because if you build a house, it really doesn't cost a lot more for access than it does just to build the house. If you buy a house and modify it, it costs a bunch of money. Yeah, the the only, the only extra expense we had was that it had to be a two story house, because that's what the development had. So we did spend 15,000 extra dollars in the construction of the house to put it in elevator. But beyond that, you know, it didn't cost more. But still, when we were once, we selected the property and we were back in California telling people where we were going to live and all that. I had never heard of Westfield before we went there. But I was amazed at the number of people who knew about Westfield New Jersey here in California. Abby Stason ** 13:12 Well, so I so when it then fast forward. I was working in lower Manhattan, you know, after 911 which, you know, obviously, yeah, so I lived in Summit, New Jersey, Ah, okay, but yeah, so I lived in Summit, took the train to Hoboken and then took the ferry over to the ferry, yeah, her open edge center, yeah. What? Michael Hingson ** 13:33 What did you do on Wall Street? Abby Stason ** 13:37 I was in sales leadership, you know, basically in charge of brokers, if you will. You know, help, you know, supporting them, hiring, firing, you know, helping clients with issues, anything you can imagine. So Michael Hingson ** 13:52 you must have had a lot of fun dealing with people and the truth from time to time. Abby Stason ** 13:58 Well, you know, yeah, you know was, it was, so you everyone's gonna on the call, will probably stereotype me a little bit, and being on Wall Street, and that's quite all right, because it's, it's the stereotyping is a little bit. But, you know, it's an exciting industry, yeah, it's got a little bit of its warts on it. You know, one of the things that was really tough was being a woman. So I left Wall Street in 2010 so, you know, it was 19 years on Wall Street. It was pretty tough to be consistently the only woman in the room. So I really had to take care of myself. And, you know, meet kind of the challenges that came with that sometimes It'd be my meeting and I'd be asked to get coffee because I'm the female, or I'd be asked to take notes because I'm the female, you know. So that got a little bit tiring, but I never became a victim of that. Victim, any of us in an underrepresented group of any kind. It's easy to go to victim, but I chose not to do that. Michael Hingson ** 14:58 That's really the issue. Is. And it's a matter of, are you going to be a victim or not? And that's of course, what happens so often, is that that we seem to learn to be a victim, rather than recognizing that we don't need to be. We discover, for all too often, that people just decide to be a victim and they don't need to be a victim. Abby Stason ** 15:22 Yeah, you know, it's because you, because we, you, we are a little bit victims. But there's, there's an essence of going for victimhood, you know, unnecessarily. So it's, rather than whining about it, it's understanding that this is the reality that I live in. And so how can I meet this. How can I take care of myself? You know, how can I respond with ability versus reacting, you know? And, you know, bringing in other underrepresented groups, I mean, certainly you come across that same type of we just talked about disabled people and, you know, there's black people and, you know, underrepresented groups, it's easy to go to victim but I encourage people, and I never got victim me about it. It's just like this is a reality I live in. What can I do and how can I spark a greater discussion? Are people available for a different discussion around this? If not? Okay, but just keep going. Michael Hingson ** 16:18 Well, it gets back to the whole thing we talked about earlier, about disabilities and so on, because so many people, like people who are blind, specifically people who become blind later in life, grow up sighted and in an environment that says you're not whole if you can't fully see. And all too often, they end up being victims or view themselves as victims and don't recognize that. Okay? So they're still traveling down the road of life, maybe in a different lane, but you're still going down the road of life, and you can learn to do and choose to do all the things that you could do before. It's very rare that there isn't something that a person who is blind can't do, that a person with eyesight can. Yeah, probably blind people aren't most likely going to be football players. However, being football strategists is another story, yes, and and so sometimes exactly what we do changes. But on the other hand, like I said, the whole issue of light dependence, I'll, I'll put my ability to understand a lot of my surroundings up against what most people can or or don't do in terms of understanding their surroundings, because people don't learn to really observe, whereas it's part of my way of life. Abby Stason ** 17:47 Yes, and it's an opportunity to to ask, How can I cultivate resilience? You know, if I can use a such any situation to strengthen my resilience, then that's, you know, you know, talk about having fun, you know, it's, you know, I'm not making light of any situation. But if I can cultivate more resilience and learn, it's a you know, I matured really quickly. You know what I mean? You know, I grew up really quickly, which was delightful, right? It was delightful. And, you know, I want to say too, that working on Wall Street as a leader was extremely satisfying from the front. So people are people are people. So one of the things I love doing is human development, so I got to do that a lot on Wall Street. So I was really pleased with my ability to impact people's lives, even on Wall Street well. Michael Hingson ** 18:40 And the reality is that the people on Wall Street, by and large, were very intelligent, very creative, very bright people, and had some real challenges and pressures to live up to in order to do the things that they do. So I can understand where the environment developed from, although, as you point out, the issue of getting people to grow and recognizing that a female can can do things as well is, is something that some people accept and some people don't. But that's not just Wall Street that, unfortunately, is a guy thing that has to change. Well, Abby Stason ** 19:19 I think it's, it is, yeah, it's a guy thing, and it's, you know, we all can change to see, you know, we are just human beings. Because actually, gender and race are just social constructs. Actually, a lot of the social conditioning that comes with anything that we stereotype has a lot of baggage to it. Can have baggage, and we're not align with ourselves, and we're trying to fit into society's mold. And conditioning is useful, but if left uninvestigated, yeah, you know, it's, you know, it's not as much fun, no, right? Because, like, we can see this wants to change, but yet we keep doing the same thing, and that's just stuck, stuck. Yes, Michael Hingson ** 20:00 I was watching a commercial last night about, well, this woman comes on and she's talking about Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in baseball, but he was not the first baseball player of color, if you will. And talked about the Negro League and that, there's a whole podcast about that now, which I haven't listened to yet, but I can relate to being different than most people. And also, I'm well aware of the Negro League, which it was called, and and appreciate it and look forward to learning more about it, because I believe talent is talent, wherever it comes from. Abby Stason ** 20:39 Yeah. And this notion of, you know, can I be true to myself, no matter what? You know, can I be really true to myself, you know, with who I am, and can I be real no matter what? And in some places, to be real means I will scare the heck out of people, you know, again, for the biases, you know, if I show up as a strong female, that's the success, like ability bias is negative for women and positive for men. So then I start scaring people. So then I need to stay conscious to that, to see how I'm being received, and where's the conversation headed, and how can we connect beyond Yeah, how Michael Hingson ** 21:18 do we help people grow? Abby Stason ** 21:19 Yeah, that's right, it's an opposite opportunity that's really well said. It's an opportunity to stretch and grow. Michael Hingson ** 21:24 So what did you do after you left Wall Street? Abby Stason ** 21:27 Well, so I, you know, and going back to what I was saying, what I love doing was, you know, I got results because you want to, you know, you want to have positive results and disciplined business practices, takes care of the day to day. But what I really loved doing was leading and developing people, mentoring, coaching, developing human beings. You know, I have no problem developing someone younger than me, them going off to be a CEO and work for them. So I decided to follow that passion. I was in the Bay Area. Wanted to stay, so I leapt, you know, took the leap. I leapt off the cliff, then started my own practice of basically teach us more of a teacher than a coach. I basically teach people skills around everything we're talking about. You talked about fear earlier, etc, but that's really satisfying for me, because that's what I love to do. I consider myself a Constant Learner. Michael Hingson ** 22:22 And where do you live today? Abby Stason ** 22:24 Now, I live in Oregon. Okay, I'm in Southern Oregon, so that's Michael Hingson ** 22:29 a little bit away from Wall Street. Yes, it's a long walk, but that's okay. So you and what does your business do today? Abby Stason ** 22:46 Yeah, so basically, I teach people skills, you know, I do one on one sessions. I do team workshops. I do I help companies with their cultures and team workshops. I have an E learning platform. I have a whole curriculum that I teach people skills, specifically skills to navigate the human condition you were just talking about. And I read, or, excuse me, listen to that podcast about the gentleman at Dana. Point is really interesting. So like him, you know, overcoming his fear? Well, we have fear throughout the day, so fear is a big driver of our behavior. So that's something that I teach, is how to overcome fear. And you know, in short, I'm sharing my journey for my own development, my own human development. Here's what I've learned, here's the skill I've learned, and here's what worked for me. And also I clients kept asking me questions, how do I do this? How do I do that? So finally, one client said, you know, I want, I don't want another catch phrase. I want frameworks. I want skills. I'm like, You got it here. I am well. Michael Hingson ** 23:46 And the fact is that if you really look at fear, most things that we fear or are afraid of never come to the light of day. They're not they're not real. We are. We're really good at creating fear out of nothing and and it really is nothing, and we we don't step back enough, or we don't learn, as I describe it, how not to be blinded by fear, especially when it's unexpected things that come up that can really be perilous. We really, those are the times that we really need to keep our wits about us. And the reality is, we can do that. Yeah, Abby Stason ** 24:26 yes, and you're right. Wait the human. You know, humans are wacky, wackiest species on the planet. We are great, and we are the wackiest. I put myself at the top of the list. I mean, we will, you know, this is the mind body connection. We will actually create a fear response in our physiology based on some story we're telling ourselves. Yeah, we we know this scientifically. So it's like, why would we ever do this? Like, I'm looking at you. You're in your home. I'm looking at me. I'm in my home. You know, we're both. Safe. There's no reason for us to be fear. We're to be fearful. You know, we get along great. But you know what we do is we make up stories in our head, and then we go into a real fear response, and then our behavior comes from that. We know why that is. It's exciting. We live in exciting times because we know now I get very excited. As you can tell, is we know now, as opposed to even 1015, 20 years ago, how our brains and our biology impact our behavior like it's it's no more a mystery to us, and we're going to get just continue to get more and more informed about that, including why we exclude people, and why we treat people of different colors or disabled people differently? So I think we're in an exciting time Michael Hingson ** 25:46 well, and the reality is that a lot of the well, most of the time that we treat people differently is because we don't understand, and to some degree, or for some people, to a large degree, we don't want to understand. We don't want to be as, as people would say, confronted with the facts. Don't confuse me with the facts. That's what I believe. Is what I want to believe. And and there are issues with that that really should allow us to move beyond it and recognize that we all have gifts. As I've said, the thing is, disability does not mean a lack of ability, and disability is truly a characteristic that we all have that manifests itself in different ways for different people. Abby Stason ** 26:37 Absolutely, and you know when we you know, when you see someone who's disabled, someone who's different than you, we immediately go into us. Our brains go into us versus them, and then we also assign all of the behaviors of those biases that we've been taught, whether they are accurate or not. So I'd love the reframe you were talking about earlier, about, you know, disabled people, they really have abilities, but we have stereotypes about disabled people. We have stereotypes about women, we have stereotypes about men, we have stereotypes from about blacks, any, you know, any of it. And it's all just this old wiring, which is which I find exciting, because we can actually rewire that. Michael Hingson ** 27:24 Yep, unfortunately, we grow up learning one way to wire, and it is something that we can change and we should change. Yes, it's also a growth issue, because for years, people thought what they did about disability or people who have disabilities. And the fact is that as we evolve, hopefully we recognize that our own views are not really necessarily totally accurate, and we should change them and be a lot more inclusive than we tend to be. Yes, Abby Stason ** 28:00 and that takes this is where conscious, you know, being conscious and aware of my self as I see someone who's different than me, requires me almost to stop and pause for a split second to interrupt any kind of conditioning that comes In. So this is where we can make more space for humanity, and I'm not. It doesn't mean slowing down. It just means stopping and saying, Okay, I'm looking at this person. What are the stories I have running? What are the biases I have running? And can I let those go and make different associations, or be open to actually get to know this person before I make any judgments about them, yeah, you know. So that interrupts the brain wiring, you know. And I love our brains. If we didn't have conditioning, we wouldn't be able to live, you know, if we didn't have social conditioning, you know, social conditioning is useful. For instance, we have stop signs and street lights and other norms that really help us get through our day to day. We wear uniforms. You know, imagine walking into a hospital and seeing everyone dressed like ranchers. I don't know. You know people. You know cowboys. You mean they're not right. You'd walk into the hospital and need treatment and be like, wait a minute, I'm not in the right place. And you would go into a fear response. That's why we have uniforms and some other norms. But when those norms keep us from really connecting is when it's problematic, and we're seeing that Michael Hingson ** 29:34 well, this, this concept that you talk about and that you address regularly, about being real. What? What got you started down that road and deciding that that was a really important thing to do? Abby Stason ** 29:49 Yeah, so it great question, you know this word authentic? I don't think people know what it means to be real or to be authentic. And if. If it's sometimes dangerous to be real or authentic. In some communities, you know, I'm thinking some places where women, if you want to be real and take off, you know, don't, not cover your face, that can be dangerous. You know, that's the extreme horn of it. But really it's aligning your your inner experience with your outer expression. It's knowing what your values are and standing for them. It's allow. It's aligning with your commitments in the world and who you want to be you know. So I don't think people know what it means to be authentic. It means to be, you know, exposed for the truth of who you are, but that, you know, context matters also. It's not in a vacuum. But I think it's helpful to know, really, what it means to be authentic. It means that that I'm not hiding myself from you. You know that I'm transparent. I don't walk up to someone and just say, Here's my life story. But right? You know, I think when we're authentic, we're revealing what, what wants to be revealed. When it wants to be revealed, we're not wearing some persona, some mask, you know, we are aligned with who we are. We know what our values are and stand for that. It's, you know. It's about, you know, being congruent, you know, living and leading or whatever in alignment with what you profess to stand for. So if I stick, you know, yeah, go ahead, are Michael Hingson ** 31:28 we taught not to be authentic? Abby Stason ** 31:32 Well, I, you know, I'll say the answer to that, I think, is yes. I mean, are we taught not to be authentic? I think we're taught. We're not taught anything. We kind of grow up and we inherit. And this isn't necessarily a bad thing. We grow up and inherent crafts and values from our parents. And don't ever when we start to get to adulthood, really ask, Well, who am I? Am I? Are these just values of my parents? And, yeah, there's social pressures to act certain ways, so we adopt those, rather than saying, you know, do I want to adopt these? Am I working in the right place? You know, so are we? We're not taught, really. We're taught to go along, to get along. That's a lot of what we're taught to go along, to get along, at the expense of ourselves. And I'm not saying we should fight against everything, but I think there's an opportunity for us to, you know, be in the truth of who we are and align with our own values and what's true for us. And also, you know, the brain is wired to go along, to get along and lessen so that so it can be very fearful to go against what a group is saying. So that can be challenging for people, even though it might be healthier for whatever's happening. Michael Hingson ** 32:57 But you know, the reason I asked about being taught it may or may not be volitional, but when I look at well, very frankly, look at politicians and how often they will deny something, they can be caught doing something or having done something, and sometimes that goes to extremes. Nowadays, you could do something 30 years ago and still be chastised for it and drummed out of the core, if you will. But the bottom line is that all too often, politicians will just deny with the hope that, well, if I push back hard enough, then people will believe it didn't really happen. And the result is that, in fact, they did something, and that teaching, or that activity, teaches so many others, especially kids growing up. Well, if they get away with it, why can't I? Yes, Abby Stason ** 33:51 exactly. That's really well said. You know, politics is a great example of where you rarely hear the truth, you know, and also we're as humans. We're really not wired to speak fact to fact. I mean, we don't. We don't really speak fact to fact. In other words, we don't get on this zoom call and say you have headphones on. I don't, you know we don't. We just don't talk that way, like you have a gold shirt on I have a blue shirt on. That's not how we communicate as humans. The brain is wired to contextualize everything. That's okay, but then understanding that what comes out of my mouth is my opinion. It can be a judgment and intuition, and that's okay too, but we treat some of these things that we see on the news as facts when it's an opinion. So then you can take the opinion in and either agree or disagree with it, but we say that that's the truth well, Michael Hingson ** 34:57 and sometimes you. We hear something say on TV that is an opinion, or it's not even a good opinion, because it clearly goes counter to reality and to facts, and yet people still say it, and if they don't get caught somehow, then it stands, and a lot of people call it gospel, and that's unfortunate, because what they're really counting on is that most of us don't ever go into an analytical mode where we really look at things and say, is that opinion? Is that true? I should really look into that for myself, right? Abby Stason ** 35:42 And this is herein lies the suffering and the challenge of being a human being where, you know, to take responsibility for, am I treating that as truth? Am I investigating? Am I doing my own, you know, due diligence? No, I'm not saying we should go and all become scientists or anything like that, but certainly, you can tell an opinion when you hear it. But a lot of people, this is about being unconscious. You know, it's just, I'm not making anything good, bad, right, wrong, but there's consequences to not challenging anyone, and particularly our politicians and leaders, elected officials and anyone, and challenging each other to lift humanity into again, the truth and the facts of the matters and and also inviting people to say, hey, you know, that's not exactly true, but you know. Let's take a look at that. You know. But we consider things as truth, and then we take that and we then what, you know, and you're alluding to that, is that then we we take action based on something we think is true. Or Michael Hingson ** 36:49 sometimes people will say, Well, you said that, but that's not what I have experienced or what I've observed, but that's but that's fair. It's fair to then have the discussion. Yes, and it may very well be that both sets of experiences are absolutely valid. And if you will, true, although it is so tempting to say you can't handle the truth, but we won't go there. That's that's a different movie. Abby Stason ** 37:18 That was a good impression. Michael Hingson ** 37:19 I actually was somewhere I cannot remember when it's been several years. I love, I love movies and lines, and I was talking with someone, and they said, Look, all I want from you is the truth. And I couldn't resist so I said that you can't handle the truth. And it really, it really busted up the whole atmosphere, and people were able to talk a whole lot more more seriously after that. Of course, there was another time I was somewhere and somebody said, Surely that's not the case. I said, Well, yes, it is. And don't call me Shirley, but, as I said, movies, but you know, from Abby Stason ** 37:59 airplane, that's from airplane I'm tracking. I'm totally tracking. Michael Hingson ** 38:05 Yeah, what can I say? I love to personally inject humor where I can, and I think that we take things so seriously sometimes. But the reality is, truth is important, and authenticity is important. And I guess I'd ask you, why is that's the case? Why is why should we really be authentic? Well, Abby Stason ** 38:28 first of all, it's more satisfying on an individual level. So that when I'm aligned with who I am and I'm telling my truth, that is my experience and what's true for me, it's much more satisfying. Here's the other thing, you know, it avoids a lot of drama. You know, it opens up connection. It avoids drama. It takes away the blaming shaming. If we really make truth the primary goal, you know, then actually we have in the time we spend in drama and arguing, we have more time and space to enjoy ourselves. But it's, it's when we, when we don't tell the truth, our self esteem takes a hit. So right, when I'm not telling the truth and align with who I am and I'm not authentic with myself, you know, standing for what I you know, behaving a way that about what I profess to stand for, my self esteem takes a hit. Now, if my self esteem takes a hit, and we're all doing that, our collective self esteem takes a hit. Michael Hingson ** 39:32 I also would submit that not telling the truth or not being truthful is stressful and it's a lot harder to do. Some people learn to do it very well, unfortunately. But it doesn't change the fact that in general, it's a lot harder to do, because you always have to worry about, am I going to be caught? Abby Stason ** 39:55 Yep, spot on, and then I'm then, then it's like, okay. I lied, so then I have to cover up the lie, and then I Okay, so then I have to build on the lie. It's, it's a lot of unnecessary suffering, yeah. And the truth can be really inconvenient, you know, that's the other thing. The truth can be absolutely inconvenient. Oh, sure, you know. So. And then that might mean I have to rearrange some things in my life if I tell the truth, or, you know, if I, you know, this is the thing too. So here's the other thing is, society doesn't isn't compassionate. When we make we're all human beings, and we make mistakes, right? We do harm others and we make mistakes, but society is not forgiving or compassionate or doesn't make it cool to like, raise your hand and say, I really screwed this up. Here's what I did. I take responsibility. I want to clean this up, you know, and here's what I've learned. But instead, we blame and shame, and particularly in an era of social media and everything now visible, we just blame and slam anyway, you know, the cancel culture, so we don't make it easy to tell the truth about screwing up and then recovering from that, because I think there's a lot to learn when you know, even these politicians that make mistakes, or any of these high profile people, everybody makes mistakes, but we slam them and just try to blame and shame them and just annihilate them, instead of saying, Well, what, what happened? What was your experience when you were doing that? Or what? What have you learned? You know, where do you think that comes from? It Right? What's coming to mind? I'm going to say it just because it's here. Is the when Will Smith slapped rocket Oscars. And I'm thinking, what an opportunity to sit there and say, Okay, what happened? What did you learn? Instead, it just blew up into a ton of drama, yeah, you know. So we miss out on opportunities to grow our humanity by if anyone wants to tell the truth, it's it's hard because you'll get slammed, you know, literally, you can be canceled. You can lose your job, you know, all that. And sometimes that's appropriate. I mean, there should be consequences. I'm not saying, you know, when you tell the truth, some people, I might have to go to jail, and that's part of their taking responsibility. But overall, what we're talking about is the day to day things that happen that we could really benefit more from learning rather than blaming and shaming. In my opinion, Michael Hingson ** 42:38 do you think, Well, what do you think society really says or believes about being real? Abby Stason ** 42:45 Oh, gosh, yes, societies, you know, it's my experience. He says, Be Real, as long as it's what we say you real is go along to get along, you know, if so, you know, you know, look, there's, I'm LGBTQ, I'm happy to be bisexual. There's 300 plus lawsuit law, pieces of legislation against gay people. There's X number against transgender people. Now that's now you're saying that now the society, the government is saying to me, you can't, you shouldn't do that. So we're going to write laws against you. So this is where it gets tough. You know, I want to be real, but this is where intelligence comes in, context comes in. And I also say self care. Yeah, self care. I I'm teaching, especially now the I'm teaching women and underrepresented anyone in an underrepresented group, you know, self care has got to be non negotiable, because you're it's swimming upstream, and I'm not, yeah again and not victimy. But let's get in the reality of that you have to take really good care of yourself. Michael Hingson ** 43:55 You have to be the first to take responsibility for doing that, because no one else is going to well said Abby Stason ** 44:00 you should repeat that, and that should podcast if you're listening to this, that's the that's the main message from this repeat, that you Michael Hingson ** 44:09 have to be the one to do it, because no one else is going to you have to take care of yourself. And that's that's absolutely fair to do. And I would go beyond it to say you need to really learn for you what self care is about. You know, for a person who is blind, let's say who has become blind, who grow, who has grown up with an attitude that blindness is less than being able to see, now you're suddenly confronted with it. What does that mean? Self Care wise, as opposed to say someone who is LGBTQ in terms of their sexual orientation. But the reality is that both do have things that they can do to care for themselves, mentally and physically in order to be able to continue to function. And first. I recognize that they are just as much a part of humanity as anyone else's. Abby Stason ** 45:05 Yes, I just was quiet because that was well said, Very well said. So I hope everyone listening in, you just go back repeat what he just said and just repeat it, because you'll listen to it over and over. That's, that's the core message of this podcast, right? And I'll add, you know, I'm looking at you. I can see you have gray hair. I'm turning 58 in a few days, you know. So now ageism starts to come in, right? You know, I'm 58 so if I act, society says I should act like a 58 year old. So I have big energy, as you can probably hear in my voice, I'm pretty active and, you know, I'm not really intimidated by getting older, you know, I'm certainly don't act as energetic and athletic as a 25 year old. But society says I should act a certain way in my age, you know. So the, you know, going full circle to your society question, yeah. I think it's a time to examine our societal conditioning and ask what's outdated? Michael Hingson ** 46:07 Yeah, and the reality is that things become outdated because we learn which we should do, and we recognize that some of our basic core beliefs that we were taught aren't necessarily, really so yes, totally agree, yeah, and it is. It is still something that we do need to and should learn to deal with. It's fair. Again, I talk a lot about blindness, of course, but that's what I tend to know a little bit about anyway. But I know that that the views that people still all too often have are very outmoded. I still hear of people who are losing their Well, let me do it this way. I hear about people who go to ophthalmologists because they don't see as well as they used to, and the doctor says, well, you're going blind. There's nothing I can do. And the doctor just walks out of the room. Or the doctor says, you know, go live in a home because you can't do anything anymore. You're, you're going to be blind. And that's not real. Yeah, Abby Stason ** 47:16 wow. That's, that's, yeah, that's right there. That's a, oh, that's really, well, I feel offended Just hearing that, you know, I feel offended just hearing that's not inspirational, it's not looking at possibilities, it's not helping anyone. It's and it's not true. Yeah, that's right, because there we can all do things Michael Hingson ** 47:38 well, the reality is that that we have, having been in the World Trade Center and escaping on September 11. The reality is that proves that anyone can be in an unexpected situation, and it's a question of how we choose to deal with it. Of course, a lot of people tell me, Well, you must have been so afraid or, of course, you didn't know what happened because you couldn't see it. Well, excuse me. You know they couldn't they couldn't see it. One is really easy. I was on the 78th floor on the south side of the building, and the airplane hit on the area between floors 93 and 99 on the north side of the building, basically 18 floors of concrete, steel and everything else between me and where the plane hit, what was there to see. Nobody could see it, and nobody and when we were going down the stairs, none of us knew what had happened. I never really learned what happened until both towers had collapsed, and I called my wife, and she is the first one who told us how two aircraft had been crashed into the towers. Now we knew that something was going on, because one of my colleagues saw fire before we evacuated, so we knew that something happened. And then as we were going down the stairs, we smelled fumes from burning jet fuel, but we had no idea what really had occurred. There was no way to know, but I was the one. But I was the one who observed to people around me, I smelled in the fumes from burning jet fuel. And other people said, Yeah, we were trying to figure out what that is. That's what it is. You're right, Abby Stason ** 49:12 yeah, you know. And you're hearing, I'm imagining is, is very strong, right? The brain will make up for loss. Well, Michael Hingson ** 49:22 only if I use it, only if I and that's, it's, that's a good question. But the reality is, only if I learn to use it. Your hearing doesn't become better simply because you lose your eyesight. It's like, you take a person from SEAL Team Six, and you, you take someone from some other profession that doesn't require as much eyesight, they're not going to see the same one will see better than the other because they've learned to use their eyesight. And it's the same thing with hearing. Abby Stason ** 49:57 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's remarkable. I mean, yeah, I'm just, I notice I'm thinking of you and the towers, and what an experience. And it's a privilege to sit across from you right now and just, you know, yeah, it's amazing that you were there and lived through that. And I have a special, just a special type of feeling for the people of New York. And, you know, I worked in lower Manhattan after it was 2004 to 2006 and that's one of the reasons I went to work in Manhattan. Lower Manhattan is to, I don't know, I felt drawn to go there and just be a part of that. And it was a privilege to work there for two years Michael Hingson ** 50:41 after, after all that had happened, where were you before then, Abby Stason ** 50:46 I was in Atlanta, Georgia, okay, yeah, I was in the southeast. And, yeah, I was offered a job, and in same company, Merrill Lynch and I was offered a job in lower Manhattan. I just felt like, you know, I felt called to go and do that. And mostly because of 911 it was like a privilege to work with people who had lived through it, and, you know, like it's a privilege to sit across from you. It's, of course, one of the most recognizable, impactful events in the USF, yeah, you know, I mean, I'm putting that lightly. I'm not even giving it justice, Michael Hingson ** 51:22 but it is one of the things that that we learn to deal with, and that's okay, but, but the reality is that I think even with that September 11 is, for a lot of people, just history. I mean, you've got a whole generation who never experienced anything relating to it and just reading about it. It's like Pearl Harbor for a lot of us, is just history, unless we take the time to really step back and and think about it and internalize it. Now I love to collect old radio shows as a hobby. So I've heard many radio broadcasts, not only about Pearl Harbor and that day, but other things relating to world war two and so on that make it very real. And have learned to use my imagination, and I hope people will do that regarding September 11 as well, because even though maybe you weren't born yet, or for those of us who were born who were able to remember it, but only saw it as whatever the size of our TV screen or our newspapers were, it's important to internalize that and think about it and decide, what does that really teach us about history? And I don't think it does teach us that Muslims are evil or anything like that. I think it teaches us that there are thugs in the world who want to force us to try to bend to their will. But the reality is that we're stronger if we work together, because after September 11, just the way this country behaved for a while. Then unfortunately, we started to see things like MCI WorldCom and Enron and other things like that, and politicians who really lost all the momentum that we had gained after September 11. Abby Stason ** 53:18 Yeah, and I'm really appreciating, you know, really you said it really well too. Kind of a summation is we don't internalize our experience, so we skate over our direct experience, whether the experience be astronomically stressful and traumatic, like 911 but you still don't want to skip over your direct experience. You know, we don't internalize our experience. We we interact superficially, and we just say, Oh, that was okay. This was great. That wasn't. This was awful. Rather than really getting into our direct experience, that's where we can build resilience, that's where insight and wisdom comes along. Like you just said, yeah, really well. Said, appreciate the wisdom I'm getting today. I always learn something. I'm like, I wonder what I learned today. Well, here we are. I Michael Hingson ** 54:15 hear you me too. I figure if I'm not learning at least as much as anybody else, then I'm not doing my job very well, because I I love doing this podcast, because everyone who comes on teaches me a lot, which I value a great deal, and then putting it all together is a lot of fun. So, you know, tell me, tell me a little bit more about what it is you do today, and what's your company and so on. Abby Stason ** 54:44 Yeah. So my company name is my name, Abigail station LLC, really the nice, creative name, yeah, I know. Well, you know, it's just was easy, easy, and got recommended to me. But, you know, in a nutshell. Yeah, everything we're talking about is coming full circle because people want to show up. People want to be real, they want to be authentic. They want to be pleased with how they show up. They want to know what their values are. So it's it's like navigating the human condition in our modern world, in a global gig economy, requires skill, right? If I have an experience, what does this mean for me? How am I treating people that requires skill? So I basically teach skills on how to navigate the human condition, particularly while relating to others. It's one thing to be skillful when I'm by myself, but you know what it's like when we get we start working as a team and launching a product. You're shaking your head, right? We Michael Hingson ** 55:44 impress ourselves very easily, don't we? Abby Stason ** 55:48 That's where so we, you know, and it's important today, as opposed to years ago, when we worked on assembly lines. You know, we're well past that. Yeah, we're working on an assembly line. You didn't, you know, you basically said hi to your neighbor, you didn't have to share ideas and wisdom. You didn't have to collaborate with them. So now, everything in the workforce today in a gig economy, a global gig economy, across cultures, right across languages. So what's required of us is to be skillful human beings. So that's I have a curriculum that centers around that. So I do that in a one on one forum, Team workshops, open workshops, retreats, you name it. Anyone who wants to learn how to be, how to behave, more consciously. And I'm not making it good or bad, right or wrong, right? Michael Hingson ** 56:34 How do you do that? How do you teach skills? Abby Stason ** 56:38 Oh, like, literally, you know, so I'll, you know, I have framer. I talked about frameworks. So I have a skill like presence. I teach a framework on what it means to be present. Emotional Intelligence is a skill. And I, you know, it even like I'm laughing, because emotional intelligence is necessary. It's non negotiable for resilience. We know this scientifically. If you're not emotionally fluent, you're you will hurt your immune system. But people don't know actually how to feel their emotions. So I teach people that to notice the sensations in their body, to then capture the wisdom from that. How to Speak the truth, right? We've talked about that, how to listen, how to cultivate self esteem. So I have processes, many processes, if you will, for each skill, it's just like, Look, let me simplify it for you. You know, everybody's got a hobbit hobby of some sort, a hobbit, a hobbit, a hobbit. Covid might have a hobbit. I have five out here in my closet so, but everybody has a hobby of some sort. Well, let's say so I was a run. I used to run. I didn't go out and run a marathon in the first minute. What did I do? I learned how to train, right? So it's just like that, except we don't do strength training for our behaviors. Yeah, so it's, it's repetition, it's, it's a workout, if you will. Michael Hingson ** 58:10 What kind of suggestions do you have for people who want to, want to get real, who don't necessarily know how to get real, especially people from underrepresented groups. Abby Stason ** 58:25 Yeah, so, so for that, I mean, you know, I have you look me up at Abigail season.com, and I'm, I, you know, I'm happy to help anyone. But with underrepresented groups, it's particularly more important so that the skills there are, knowing when I'm present, knowing when I'm emotionally intelligent, because you're gonna have you're gonna be especially if you're an underrepresented group because of what we talked about, you'll be criticized for being real. So you have to understand your emotions. You have to know what your values are. You have to know what you stand for. And I will add self care because of what we talked about, because as an underrepresented group, we're swimming upstream, so you have to really understand how to take care of yourself, because we need to be strong as underrepresented groups. And I'll go back to my days on Wall Street. I was, you know, a lot of swimming upstream, you know. So I was okay. How am I doing this week? Am I taking care of myself? Each of those is a skill. Michael Hingson ** 59:27 How do people do all of that? So, you know, when, when you talk about these are the things that then one needs to do. How do they do that? Abby Stason ** 59:37 How do they do that, like, so, actually, you know. Michael Hingson ** 59:42 So how do they learn about self care, for example, and so on. How do they learn about being more competent about themselves? Yeah, Abby Stason ** 59:51 okay, so, so, you know, you can get, get support. You can, you know, one, I'll say you can buy my book. I mean. Abigail station.com, my book is called evolution, revolution, conscious leadership for an information age. So I have the skills in them that actually teach you how to be you know again, how to learn what your values are, how to thrive. You have five buckets of thriving, spiritually, mental, physical, emotional and financial. And I have a worksheet so you can actually fill out the worksheet to see where you're thriving or not, and what bucket you need to you know correct for, where are you doing in each bucket. So it's, it's again, it's it sounds, it's not abstract. It's just like if you're learning how to play tennis, you pick up a ball, you pick up a rack, and you start hitting it right? Well, just like this, you pick up a worksheet, you fill it out, and you examine what's true for you, and then you put it into practice. Michael Hingson ** 1:01:01 And important to do. And in our cover notes, we have a picture of the book cover and so on. So I do urge people to to look at that and and get your book to really understand a lot of the insights. And I think that that's the issue, is that the ultimate answer I would think to them to my question about how do people do it is you ask questions, you go to people like Abby, who have the information, and listen to them. You figure out what will work for you, but really take the time to figure it out, and then you can put it into practice. Abby Stason ** 1:01:40 It's a matter of stopping to investigate what's going on with me. How am I doing and where do I need support, and all that and all that. It's just, it's skill we it's my experience, and what I teach is we can be more skillful human beings. It's a complex world now, Michael Hingson ** 1:02:02 do you think it's more complex than it used to be? Abby Stason ** 1:02:06 I think we make it complex. Okay, that you know, that's what I happen to. Think it's my experience too. And this is what notice, how I'm notice what I'm saying. It's like, it's my experience. Here's what I think, you know, my it's my opinion and my experience. Notice how I'm saying the truth is XYZ. Notice how I'm saying that, right, right? It's my experience. It's my opinion that we make it complex, but yet, the skills that I teach, they're simply said, but they're not easy, right? It's a challenge of a lifetime. Michael Hingson ** 1:02:42 Well, I think there's a lot to be said for all that, that that we make it a complex world. Is it really more complex than it used to be? Maybe not we. We tend to want to think that it is. But is it really of has the real dynamic, have the real basic concepts changed or not, and that's really the issue, and that's why I agree with you that we tend to want to make it more complex. Oh yeah, there is a lot going on, things like social media and other things bring us closer together and so on. And so there's a lot of stuff going on, but we're the ones that have control over that, right? Abby Stason ** 1:03:27 Well, Said, because we can go back to take a responsibility for our part, right? How am I showing up on social media, etc? Michael Hingson ** 1:03:34 Well, if people want to reach out to you, how do they do that? Yeah, they can go Abby Stason ** 1:03:39 to Abigail stason.com, Michael Hingson ** 1:03:41 would you spell that, please? Yeah, Abby Stason ** 1:03:43 I should just going to say it's A B, I G, A, I L, S T, A, S O N.com, you can email me at Abby, a, b, b, y, at Abigail, stason.com, and I you know if you're interested, if they're if you anyone's interested is listening. In a good place to go is go to my website, Abigail station.com, go to my blogs. It's a good way to pick up a lot of these information. I don't I don't send out it. I don't flood you with emails. Come to my blogs. That's a good place to get some exposure to some of this. Pick up my book, evolution revolution and conscious leadership for an information age. And I have an online course too, a self study course that you can sign up for. It's only $250 that walks you through each chapter. I made it priced at a price point to get the skills in as many hands as possible. Cool, Michael Hingson ** 1:04:38 well, I hope people will do that, I think there's never anything wrong with doing good skill building and growing and stretching. One of the things that I've talked about a lot on this podcast, that I've learned to do over the years, is to spend a little bit of time each day thinking about what happened today. How did it go? Why did. That not work. Why did that work? And even when it worked, could I have done it better? And what can I learn from everything that I do? I just think introspection is a beautiful thing. Abby Stason ** 1:05:09 Yes, and I want to stress what you said at the end, and what have I learned about myself? That's a great summary. You know your process right there. Listeners follow that process. Absolutely, Michael Hingson ** 1:05:22 I've learned I used to talk all the time about listening to my speeches because I was I travel and speak. I like to record them, and I've always said I'm my own worst critic. So I listened to speeches because I'm my own worst critic. And I'm going to learn from that. What I realized is how negative is that? And I've learned that what I really should say is I'm my own best teacher, and I will learn from it. And I just think that's I think we need to look at the world in a more positive way, and even the things that aren't necessarily working right, we can be more positive about what we do. Abby Stason ** 1:05:56 Yes, and notice the reframe of that. Instead of putting yourself on trial. It's simply what, what did I learn, and how can I grow? That's it, and that's Michael Hingson ** 1:06:06 the way it ought to be, yes, yes, and, and look, you know, it's Abby Stason ** 1:06:09 way more fun, right? It's Michael Hingson ** 1:06:11 a whole lot more fun. Yeah, Abby Stason ** 1:06:13 I'm smiling because it's like, Okay, put myself on trial. Uh, well, you know, here's what I did, and what did I learn, and how can I grow? That feels like a lot more fun and Michael Hingson ** 1:06:22 and with that, I want to thank you for being here, and I want to thank you all for listening. This has been enjoyable and fun. We've been on here over an hour, and time has passed, and it's been just like we just started. So I think it's it's great. I hope you, all of you listening, enjoy this and that you will you'll comment to me about it. I'd love to hear from you. You can reach me at Michael M, I, C H, A, E, L, H, I so Michael h i at accessibe, A, C, C, E, S, S, I, B, E.com, or go to our podcast page, w, w, w, dot Michael hingson.com/podcast, and Michael Hinkson is M, I C, H, A, E, L, H, I N, G, S O N .com/podcast, wherever you can, please let us know your thoughts. I would love it, and really appreciate it if you would give us a five star review for our podcast today and for all the podcasts that you hear from us, we love it, but we do want to hear from you and Abigail, for you and everyone listening. If you know of anyone who you think would be a good guest for unstoppable mindset, love to hear from you. We want to really have people on who want to talk about stories, tell their stories and talk about life, because that's what this is really all about. So once again. Abby, I want to thank you for being here. This has been absolutely wonderful. So thank you. Abby Stason ** 1:07:45 Thank you so much. It was a pleasure and an honor, really. Thank you. Michael Hingson ** 1:07:53 You have been listening to the Unstoppable Mindset podcast. Thanks for dropping by. I hope that you'll join us again next week, and in future weeks for upcoming episodes. To subscribe to our podcast and to learn about upcoming episodes, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com slash podcast. Michael Hingson is spelled m i c h a e l h i n g s o n. While you're on the site., please use the form there to recommend people who we ought to interview in upcoming editions of the show. And also, we ask you and urge you to invite your friends to join us in the future. If you know of any one or any organization needing a speaker for an event, please email me at speaker at Michael hingson.com. I appreciate it very much. To learn more about the concept of blinded by fear, please visit www dot Michael hingson.com forward slash blinded by fear and while you're there, feel free to pick up a copy of my free eBook entitled blinded by fear. The unstoppable mindset podcast is provided by access cast an initiative of accessiBe and is sponsored by accessiBe. Please visit www.accessibe.com . AccessiBe is spelled a c c e s s i b e. 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