To be rather than to seem

The Doorstep Mile

To be rather than to seem

Esse quam videri is a pithy, challenging phrase from Cicero. It translates as ‘to be, rather than to seem’. It flew on Birdie Bowers’ sledging pennant as he trekked to the South Pole with Captain Scott. Birdie was one of the most impressive, genuine humans I have ever read about. I use esse quam videri as an opportunity to turn the mirror on myself from time to time and ask myself some questions.

• Am I a runner? But do I actually run? Often and far and fast? Or do I just trot around the park a couple of times a week at the same pace as last year?
• Am I a cyclist? But do I actually put in the miles? Or do I just own a nice bike or three? When did I last go for a long bike ride that made me proud?
• Am I a photographer? When was the last time I went out specifically to take photographs, with thought and imagination or learned new techniques to get the most out of my expensive camera?
• Am I writing a book? Am I actually writing, regularly and with ruthless effort? Or am I just a dilettante who enjoys talking the talk but isn’t prepared to sit down and grind out a book rather than grinding coffee beans?
• Am I doing what I love with my life? Is it fulfilling and worthwhile? Am I happy? Or am I merely dabbling with the important things whilst drowning in excuses, mediocrity and blame?

These are the sort of questions I ask myself. When I’m on track, I feel proud of the identity they provide and therefore feel motivated to do more. Yes, I am writing a book. I’m making this thing happen… That feels much better than the times when I’m just pootling about wasting my life.

Too often, I don’t like my own answers. But I try to be honest with myself and acknowledge this. And then I work hard to get back on track for a while. That is the most I ever manage to achieve – veering back and forth between optimism and procrastination, triumph and disaster.

Esse quam videri. What questions should you ask yourself? I dare you to ask them. Don’t shirk the uncomfortable question. Don’t kid yourself with your answers.

Over to You:

• Esse quam videri. What questions will you ask yourself?

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