When It All Goes Wrong: Effective Conflict Resolution

Social Skills Coaching

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00:01:18 In an article published in the Journal of Managerial Sciences in 2009

00:01:48 The Different Types of Conflict

00:02:02 Not all conflict is the same—take a look at some variants: Affective Conflict

00:02:23 Substantive Conflict

00:02:45 Conflict of Interest

00:03:02 Retributive Conflict

00:03:19 Conflict in Values

00:03:33 Goal Conflict

00:03:39 Displaced Conflict

00:04:29 The Thomas Kilmann Model

00:05:34 1. Competing

00:06:22 2. Avoiding

00:07:17 3. Accommodating

00:08:01 4. Collaboration

00:08:48 5. Compromising

00:09:36 VOMP

00:09:58 Ventilation

00:10:48 Ownership

00:11:53 Moccasins

00:12:20 Plan

00:14:24 Uh Oh—We Talked and There’s Still Conflict

00:15:21 How to Master High-Stakes Discussions and Stabilize Intense Emotions

00:19:17 How to Navigate a Crucial Conversation

• Conflict is inevitable whenever people differ, but it can be managed with grace and tact. Try to understand the type of conflict: affective, substantive, conflict of interest, retributive, conflict in values, goal conflict, or displaced conflict from somewhere else.

• According to the Thomas Kilmann model, people come into conflict simply because they have different ideas, values, motivations, or wants. There are five conflict-resolution strategies according to degree of empathy and assertiveness: competing, avoiding, accommodating, collaborating, and compromising. Each has pros and cons and is best used in specific circumstances. Compromising (medium assertiveness and medium empathy) is usually a good bet all around.

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