EP 462: It's Not Your Fault with Mia

Over It And On With It

In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Mia, who struggles with self-blame and guilt following a challenging divorce. Mia's feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing stem from a history of emotional abuse and neglect in her childhood, compounded by her recent breakup.

Christine provides a compassionate and insightful discussion, helping Mia recognize that her pain is not her fault and offering strategies to address deep-seated beliefs and patterns. The episode aims to support listeners who might feel responsible for their suffering and struggle to break free from negative self-perceptions.

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you struggle to move past events because you believe it's your fault?
• Are you stuck in a pattern of self-blame and self-loathing that prevents you from healing?
• Did you grow up in an environment where you felt neglected or abused, leading you to believe you deserve lousy treatment?
• Are you aware of any patterns of gaslighting or unhealthy relationships in your life?
• Do you find it challenging to let go of beliefs and thinking patterns that aren't serving you?

The Guest's Key Insights & A-HA's:

• Mia's self-blame and feelings of inadequacy are deeply rooted in her childhood experiences with a narcissistic family system.
• The belief that she deserves to be treated poorly is a result of internalizing abusive and neglectful behavior from her parents.
• Christine highlights that Mia's recent breakup and the blame placed on her by her ex-husband are symptoms of unresolved trauma and not reflective of her worth.
• The episode underscores the importance of differentiating between childhood trauma and current situations to avoid projecting past pain onto present circumstances.

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Recognize and challenge the old beliefs stemming from childhood trauma that are influencing your current self-perception.
• Engage in physical and emotional grounding techniques, such as standing with feet on the floor and deep breathing, to reconnect with your sense of power and presence.
• Seek trauma-informed therapy and inner child work to address and heal from past abuse and neglect.
• Write down the facts of your situation to distinguish between reality and distorted beliefs.
• Affirm that the abuse and neglect you experienced were not your fault and that you are worthy of love and respect.

Upcoming Events:

• Christine Hassler's upcoming retreat at the end of September 2024. Early bird pricing is available until the end of August. Register at christinehassler.com/retreat.
• Free coaching call on July 31st focused on reducing stress and anxiety. Sign-up at christinehassler.com/freeworkshop.

Resources:

• Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
• Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
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• Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
• @ChristinHassler on Twitter
• @ChristineHassler on Instagram
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