A chapter by chapter, beat by beat analysis of classic Japanese Roleplaying Games (JRPG). We delve deep into the story, dialogue, game mechanics, music, influences, and themes. We've covered Xenogears, Chrono Cross, Final Fantasy VIII, Suikoden, Suikoden II, Xenosaga Episode I, Final Fantasy Tactics, and Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete. Yes, we will kill god.
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Our podcast is about Michelle Philpots and her Retrograde Amnesia
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E28: The Complete Aura of This Package [Sidequests + Endgame, Part I]
46:49
46:49
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Gillad
46:49
You know nothing, Beowulf. You know we’re inventing additional antagonists for unnecessary sidequests, re-dragoning someone for a kidnapping plot, walking into an obvious trap, treating with steel, literally casting doubt, stealing a lady back from a pervert priest, debating belief vs fornication, nervously crafting a birthday scheme, overdoing the…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E27: The Three Main Shitheads [Murond Holy Place]
1:05:45
1:05:45
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1:05:45
Lives and levels, or men and boards? How about pods and casts, featuring us dropping in on perverts, murdering clergy members, slingin’ blood off a sword, remaining lawful, observing an indoor turd river, picking up a book, exposing craven cowards, returning to the father, serving death by steel, reborning a brother, re-killing a brother, pumping a…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E26: To Frustrate a Plot [Back to Igros Castle]
1:11:13
1:11:13
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1:11:13
Here’s a souvenir for you on the way to hell. It’s a podcast, one in which we’re appreciating sprite animation, frustrating the high confessor’s plot, working to see queens made for true, pretending to leave the room, rendezvousing with perverts, resisting every scenario, screaming in the dark, naming that mushroom, adding a Cletienne scene, going …
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Final Fantasy Tactics E25: A Blood Member of Darkness [Limberry Castle, Part II]
58:14
58:14
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58:14
What devilry is this? It’s a podcast, once in which we’re wading in rebirth, boasting the brain of a dullard, fighting an old foe who died but didn’t, indulging in gratuity, interrupting pervert preparation, hanging a bag of teeth, refusing to acknowledge death, unpossessing numen, thinking of our sire’s flesh, becoming a blood member of darkness, …
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Final Fantasy Tactics E24: The Purgatory Loophole [Cloud Quest, Part II + Limberry Castle, Part I]
1:08:00
1:08:00
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1:08:00
The stone chooses the flesh. You have chosen to listen to us as we’re wondering why Aerith needs money, laughing like Kefka, not agreeing with arbitration, spilling blood on fancy riggins, looking for a good drubbing, refusing to argue with ghosts, killing dead people again, crushing grapes, leaving a fearsome stain, playing dumb and dumber about m…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E23: Sauce for the Goose [Bethla Garrison + Cloud Quest, Part I]
1:00:42
1:00:42
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1:00:42
Let’s away before we’re found. But first, listen while we’re ignoring height, raising a sluice gate, breaking Orlandeau out of the break room at work, questioning Valmafra’s allegiance, finding the one competent person who likes us, suffering a plague of fools, perverting an idiot, flashing that, gandering a goose, murdering a willing zealot, buyin…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E22: Wither Their Constitution [Bed Desert + Bethla Garrison]
57:37
57:37
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57:37
Now there is a podcast I had not thought to find in these wastes! Bathe with us in the muck as we’re learning from Matsuno why Orators get guns, possessing powerful evidence of the church’s misdeeds, staying two steps ahead, acting as expected, dropping spores in the wind, respecting the constitution, only understanding transactional relationships,…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E21: Authentic String Puller [Zeltennia Castle + Beowulf Quest]
1:19:11
1:19:11
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1:19:11
God is watching, have faith. God is also listening to us assuming the piss position, successfully whistling grass, gaslighting ourselves, flying in from Final Fantasy XII, pursuing beauty, acquiring heroes of myths and legends, ordering dairy from the liquor bar, caring not for coin, remembering Beowulf facts, befriending a dragon, wishing for the …
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Final Fantasy Tactics E20: Atheism is Only Temporary [Brevenia Free City]
55:29
55:29
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55:29
Zodiac stones read the metadata of your heart. You ears read the metadata of us narrowing seven to four, making our name shit, waiting for a new dawn, using the auracite for good actually, false fighting the second pervert, citing heaven, campfire’ing next to corpses, killing jobbers off screen, simultaneously referencing U2 + Queen + Jefferson Air…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E19: Perverts Can Never Die [Riovanes Castle]
1:02:15
1:02:15
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1:02:15
All such tales of gods and their miracles are false. But not us, and not when we’re swearing on words that have no honor, realizing scripture is leverage, taking fate into mine own hands, listening to death noises, slaking thirst for revenge, selling out for the lord, perverting into another ghoul, unthinking brains, slaying another pervert, survey…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E18: The Leverage and the Slop [Yardow Fort City + Yuguo Woods]
58:10
58:10
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58:10
The air is thick with death’s foul stench. This episode is thick with sliming rockets, adding another cultural stereotype, invalidating past benevolence with modern action, resolving sibling arguments, allowing a heretic to triumph, opening the orphanage-to-assassins pipeline, becoming conduits of heaven and nether, speaking to a frog, becoming a k…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E17: Differently Jokerfied [Dorter + Grog Hill]
52:31
52:31
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52:31
We are all but puppets, dancing as they pull our strings. You are all but listeners, frolicing as we’re taking shelter from the rain, meeting with an outland mage, being honest about forbidden knowledge, refusing to be a puppet, wishing no more need of tears, excavating at the mines, delivering job reports, falling out of Mana Secrets, recruiting a…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E16: Unsuitable Facts [Underground Book Storage, Part II]
1:06:38
1:06:38
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1:06:38
Only with power can dreams be made real. Only with this podcast can we tell you about wishing for the Auto-Face, persisting in a fool resistance, fighting in the book store, confusing opponents by betraying our class, normalizing the battle gauntlet, girding for battle, becoming a thrall of the church, jokerfying yet another would-be ally, living f…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E15: Brother's Blood in My Eyes [Lesalia + Underground Book Storage, Part I]
1:05:38
1:05:38
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1:05:38
What nonsense is this? Well, it’s an audio variety show where we’re playing Dycedarg’s theme for a meeting with Zalbaag, wondering if Zalbaag is dumb, failing to avoid Alma, proving truth words, fighting a heresy examiner, perverting into the Lucavi, profaning the gods, cutting a deal with Alma, rumoring Elmdore’s death, storing books underground, …
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Final Fantasy Tactics E14: Precursory Games of Thrones [Chapter Three Intro]
55:51
55:51
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55:51
Mentally, are you becoming a coward? Vocally, we’re entering a pope meeting, pronouncing “Orlandeau,” feeling lost in the sauce, using a prisoner’s confession as an excuse to kill a guy, recognizing Orlandeau’s prowess, showcasing multiple councils, haggling over war logistics, closing the borders, going against the big tide, performing the forbidd…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E13: Belly Based Goblin Teeth [Lionel Castle]
1:04:26
1:04:26
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1:04:26
Think of us simply, as allies. Allies who are not touching our supper, expressing a shit head belief system, revealing a princess as false, laying out different scenarios, figuring out scenes were added to the PSP release, swearing vengeance to killers, granting Wiegraf a second act, finally 1v1’ing Gafgarrion, feeling cold, thrice damning Gafgarri…
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Final Fantasy Tactics E12: Wrong Doing [Gologrand Execution Site]
1:02:44
1:02:44
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1:02:44
Stop looking at girls, stop looking at rocks. Instead, look at us with your ears as we’re warning Ramza off the criminal conspiracy, reading six books, wondering who pilled Delita, realizing the nobles and the clergy are united in corruption, sniffing out a fake, losing another princess, preferring Dragoon to Samurai, falling for a gallows-based sw…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E11: In Spite of Objective Holiness [Machine City Goug]
57:07
57:07
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57:07
Just when I thought this fen could grow no fowler, we’ve cast another pod. Indulge us as we’re believing in god to get through a gate, identifying the manipulator, vexing with such worryment, listening to myths and legends, understanding auracite as everything magic, listening to the church’s perfect pitch, murdering the dead, appearing clergy and …
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Final Fantasy Tactics E10: The Most Religious Man Available [Zaland Fort City]
1:05:37
1:05:37
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1:05:37
Those who live by deceit are the first to die by it. Those who listen to this episode will hear tales of jumping in first-person, rescuing a pony-tailed squire, blinging the magic rocks, climbing walls and talking shit, bringing a gun to a wizard fight, realizing we’re in Final Fantasy XII’s future, losing patience with Mustadio, finding Christ wit…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E9: The Taste of Lies [Zirekile Falls]
51:42
51:42
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51:42
The day grows lovelier by the hour. Just like us, as we’re eavesdropping on a conspiracy, threatening a heretic brand, wonder which magic spell hurts the worst, rescuing a large bird from goblins, gouging eyes out, climaxing at a waterfall, realizing Gaffgarion’s true nature, writing the scenario in real time, refusing to step over dead guys, under…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E8: The Father's Keeping [Fort Zeakden]
47:50
47:50
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47:50
It’s about time you learned about difference. The difference between battling under the threat of crimson snow, taking hostages, shooting the hostage, mongering flowers on a street corner, looking for a woke, losing ourselves to vengeance, flitting a forked tongue, igniting the gunpowder, debating the merits of new-fangled cut-scenes against old sc…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E7: To Pill Others [Lenalia Plateau + Fovoham Plains]
58:01
58:01
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58:01
Fighting is the only way out. Listening to this episode is the only way we can start listing Chris’ top three tactics, aligning with Dycedarg, swallowing Dycedarg’s shit, realizing the rich won’t save the poor, criticizing common blood, speculating Argath is a radicalization agent, understanding a meager fate, realizing Milleuda is willing to die f…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E6: Who Will Lick the Boots? [Thieves Fort]
55:41
55:41
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55:41
Animals have no god. But they have us, and so do you, as we’re correcting the marquis, nesting menus, rending equipment, interpreting the kindness of time, being false on another’s behalf, once again realizing knights are cops, wasting strength and vitality, wondering if executing a scenario requires executing a god, demanding more than an apology,…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E5: Here for Politics [Dorter Slums + Zeklaus Desert]
45:02
45:02
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45:02
Welcome to the rat cellar. A beating has loosened our tongues, allowing us the chance of identifying the wrong song, speaking false to a knight, getting a guy muddy, discovering an actual Dune reference, endlessly reviving Ramza, employing an ineffective mage, configuring the proper Post Up, beating up prisoners, bearing a ribald tongue, filling di…
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1
Final Fantasy Tactics E4: For Want of Coin [Igros Castle]
50:57
50:57
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50:57
Mayhap your ears not fail you. For, if they do, you wouldn’t hear us telling the same stories, loving our brave lads, creating a time paradox, seeking justice for a waylaid marquis, hunting down a whoreson, shitting into Argath’s mouth, being assigned to guard the base, chatting on a thinking bridge, throwing a rock into a pond, bursting a sister’s…
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