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Sit Down Loser, We're Watching a Movie

Sit Down Loser Podcast

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Join four best friends biweekly who watch and discourse everyone's favorite movies that one or more of us has not seen. We’ll watch these movies so you don’t have to and tell you if they're actually worth it. We're here, we're queer, and yes, goofs are included. Check this link to find us on social media and wherever you get your podcasts: https://lnk.bio/OX6t
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Dear Losers, We're spending the summer at Camp Hiatus! We're having a great time taking a little break. :) That means we won't release any new episodes all summer, but don't be sad - we'll be back! That's a Terminator quote, we think. Anyway, we wanted to leave you with this fireside chat about films we saw this year or didn't, and what we look for…
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We watch one of the most disturbing movies ever created, and to no one’s surprise, it’s a favorite film for Antonio - The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2009). Listen as we sit down and lose part of ourselves while Dalia cries and HEAVILY sighs over the true crime/horror/mockumentary flick that we all immediately repressed. We talk about Disney DILFs, main ch…
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You can’t find a more emotionally harrowing journey than Dalia watching The Country Bears (2002). One Loser’s trash is another Loser’s bear power! We discourse about how Big Al is THE moment and also about famous bears, Disney lore, Jim Henson, dream band reunions, armpit farters, Property Brother Bear, Betterhead Better Health Papa John’s, and we …
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We watch a close-quarters whodunit on a train that’s been there and done that. Who is she? Murder on the Orient Express (2017). We watch as detective Hercule Poirot boards a train with whacky strangers and find out the true meaning of “we should totally just stab Caesar.” We also discuss ohh wig, Michelle Pfeiffer leaving NO crumbs, murder concerts…
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Be my little baby! We get the biggest whiplash watching Barbarian (2022) with the world’s most jarring hard cut. And the world’s most jarring baby bottle! We talk a lot about what we would do or wouldn’t do in all these situations, but also chat about our last meals, it’s horror babey, font journalism, emo looks, Paddington, short guy energy, toile…
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Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore grace our screens yet again for 50 First Dates (2004). Since Episode 9, we’ve awaited the great debate about Sandler/Barrymore romcoms and which is better! In this episode... we find out. We talk about our simple human adult pleasures, Rob Schneider (oop! jumpscare!), hair jealousy, what we would do if we were like L…
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Pew, pew, pew! And many more delightful gun sounds in our watch of John Wick (2014). We don’t know if y’all know this but… there’s a dead wife in this. It’s so hard to catch, so you’re welcome for that. We giggle a lot over the handsome Mr. Keanu but also over dinner plans, the taste of revenge, grippy socks, Jonathan kill scenes, club vibes, Tyuss…
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Our queen runs the longest of cons in Gone Girl (2014). The finesse, the details, the tenacity… your fave could never. It doesn’t hurt that this movie includes the dong heard around the world. We also scheme about unforgettable moments, ghost stories, hidden Dunkies, games of intrigue, the greatest monologue of all time, our collective mental illne…
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Presenting… Miss Jean Jacket. She really is the moment in Nope (2022) and we maintain that she did NOTHING wrong. This movie really had us holding onto our horses while staring at clouds a little bit harder. Come bow to this alien superstar and listen to us chit-chat about bad bitching too hard, horrific soundscapes, horse boys, so much barking, an…
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Celebrate Valentine’s Day with the Losers’ crying over He’s Just Not That Into You (2009)! There’s a lot of real talk about relationships, but there’s mostly a lot of shout outs to goofy Justin Long. If you aren’t the exception like us, there’s also talks on the brain-melting marriage question, A Cinderella Story, Colin Yost, bussin’ it open, Jeepi…
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Turns out that when you put EVERYTHING on a bagel, you get some sick lewks. Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) had us laughing, crying, and verse-jumping. One of the greatest movies of the year deserves our mind-splintering discussions on Office personalities, asking cannibals to sit down, the secret Genius Bar, multiverse pork, meet-evils, a…
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Cars go real fast… we learned that quickly during our viewing of The Fast and the Furious (2001). The meaning of a ten second car eluded us for a moment, but we got there! We also put the pedal to the metal with conversations about dudebro chokeholds, Titane, car SFX, Vending Machine Diesel Truck, bionic Honda Civics, will Lightning McQueen go to H…
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How DO you measure a year? We find out as half the gang falls for (and continues to hate) Broadway's quintessential queer musical - Rent (2005). Friend of the pod, queer pal, and musical expert AJ joins us as we discuss gay cinema tropes, Dalia’s “favorite” friend, wack performance art, Jellicle cat muggings, and how many times Antonio can fit that…
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Meet us at Ye Olde Donut Time! We watched the most stressful Christmas movie of all time: Tangerine (2015). Sometimes the true meaning of the holidays is just not to be trippin’. We run through the streets of LA screaming about Santa standards, the Holy Trintity of Jam Ramcom, Raccacoonie, anti-Everspring propaganda, car holidays, boo boo, the Dupl…
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There’s something galloping at us in the woods… and I think we’re lost! Join us for our first cross contamination with Claire from Why the Flick as we watch The Blair Witch Project (1999). We got pushed to be real movie podcasters for once! We also discuss early found footage, A-list dinos, our first spooks, a galloping witch, many movie mentions, …
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O Captain! My Captain! Who knew Dead Poets Society (1989) would make us so emotional? These dang boys and their sweet friendship! We go through such a journey with the magnetic Mr. Keating but don’t worry, we still find time to secretly meet up in a cave and talk about the official Losers Club candles, Gators and Goats, Degrassi, good boy hair, tea…
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Want to hear about ascots and real-life spooks? Join us on our watch of Zodiac (2007) and find out if they finally catch him! Maybe this time! Maybe? Amongst the twists and turns of detective work, we also consider our Gallstones plans, mainstream true crime, Jaketh, fucking your food, The Most Dangerous 69, meaty thighs, the D.A.R.E. cult, and a M…
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The dolls are ~ dolling ~ in Dead Silence (2007) and while some of us cackled our way through it, others screamed so much they hurt themselves. Real spooks are captured on audio as well as unhinged conversation about chicken scraps, unpublished Dr. Seuss, Antonio being out of pocket, the perils of sharing a brain cell, The Walmart Burger Empire ft.…
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Could this movie be the perfect flim? We think MAYBE! Follow us as we bounce out of frame and into Crescent Cove with a K (well after the Klowns are done with it) as we talk Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988). Listen to the Klown discovery of the decade from resident skeptic, Antonio. Hear us go through countless tangents, mind shacks/basements/…
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O’Connell! We are the harbingers of the Brendan Fraser renaissance with The Mummy (1999) and it feels good. Lots of nerding around for our two resident Egyptologists along with talks of Dalia and Quetzal’s tumultuous past, bi panic, I Spy trauma, our Universal monster lovers, Miss Herbie, organ arguments, jerky mummy, our personal plagues, explorin…
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Revisiting our alien traumas, we get cerebral watching Arrival (2016) and learn that not all extraterrestrials want to kill us. Sometimes a friend is the space calamari you teach English to along the way. These humie friends set aside our differences to come together for some vocal riffs, Antonio’s viral moment, hostile energy, snubbery, bad pick-u…
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If it looks unsafe… it probably is. No movie is truer to that sentiment than Final Destination (2000). Listen as we go off the rails with a special guest, Skye’s boyfriend, Frank! When Death is looming around every corner and you narrowly escape (for now) it really makes you think - you almost got me gal! We talk Goldfish vs Cheez-Its, blue water f…
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Seriously, stop, Paul Rudd! We’re totally buggin’ watching Clueless (1995) because teen movies make the world go ‘round. This film walked so Chris Evans’ career could run and so we could run into conversations about secret self-care, lit adaptations, hello from the other side, stepcest, Agent Brody, sexy negging, our beautiful special-ist girl, Gen…
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Have you ever been stressed? Let us recommend War of the Worlds (2005) for your viewing pleasure. We get a few new gray hairs during this recording and invite our friend Jenna to sit through The Great Ongoing Cookie Debate, bis against Miles Teller, strong feelings towards the Lizard King, tripod sounds, tot sisters, UFO creatures, bitch-ass Mary A…
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Come admire the tasteful thickness of this American Psycho (2000) episode. Without Dalia’s guidance, the rest of us ramble and lose track of the timeline very quickly. It’s a wild ride. We ponder our stripping songs, smashing and passing, that dragon movie, neo-noir distinctions, Leo’s head, sock fiascos, clockt-ass bodies, crayons, renting videos,…
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Welcome to our anti-magician podcast! The Black Phone (2022) exposes their evils as well as the power of friendship. The mysterious black phone where you listen to your podcasts also brings you discussions on Horse God, The Snatchethed Child, nasty attic flowers, Tason Maimes, cheers to Robin, dad bods, dramatic gasps, reuniting with our fav Jam, a…
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What’s more American than a Purge? We return to celebrate on Planet Purge in The Purge Anarchy (2014) and, as usual, have morally ambiguous discussions about what we would do. Hello, government agent that has us flagged! There’s also banter about recent flights of fancy, ARF!, Only Fans dreams, saving coworkers, horny meowing, what ifs, and our fav…
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Follow us to a small town in Montana with Big Eden (2000)! No queerphobia, all the pining, and did you know this is a small town in Montana? Also join in some queer discourse about local bisexual disaster Dean Stewart, a playful consideration of cannibalism, PB&J, I am who I ham, Floridaman, Dexter Dash, the hurg, our boy Lloyd, airport movie scene…
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Boy, do we wish we knew how to quit you! Watching Brokeback Mountain (2005) was a real big bummer full of heavy debates, but Skye saves the day in the end. Even with the gay sads, we fill the time with heavy OTP and rare pair talk, The Quaid Strikes Back, code-cracking, lube discourse, cryptids, magic Squatch hair, and yer done! Happy Pride season …
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Starfish! While it’s no Full Throttle, we had an epic time watching Charlie’s Angels (2000). Divisive conclusions were drawn, but we can all bark over Luke Wilson right, lads? We talk through chocolate factory failures, Hatching, straight people camp, Mission Impossible, anime (AGAIN), Kidz Bop-ifying things, Samuel Samwell Samwise Rockwell, and be…
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You’ve never heard us as hype as we were reviewing Crazy Rich Asians (2018). So beautiful it reduced us to tears! Multiple times. A cast really shouldn’t be this perfect but we’re certainly glad they are. There’s also plenty of Teletubby talk, marriage?, the empath guild, novela instincts, men having the AUDACITY, arch support, weebs, Prince Caspia…
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The Ghost of the Sewers is here inside your mind! This one gets a little heated as we argued about The Phantom of the Opera (2004) and what we are willing to overlook for a man in leather who is also good with rope. We also have a very Fergie opener with a touch of TB, talk about excellent boiled potatoes, smizing, experience a civil war over the P…
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We are rolling around at the speed of sound in Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)! To prepare for its sequel, we discovered that this blue boy runs oh, so fast. The video game talk is nostalgic along with our discussion of the Barbie Cinematic Universe (BCU), the man of eggs, how Skye was wronged, owl guardians, child geography, conspiracies, Stella the dog…
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In honor of one year since we began recording, we bring you a relic of our early days: a rootin’ tootin’ bonus ep dedicated to Jam Ramcom! We watched In a Valley of Violence (2016) and the energy is wild as we giggle about Michelin Mouse, dog actors, frosty adventures, nasty western priests, Quetzal’s messy Four Lokos birthday, Twisted Tea, Danny D…
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Release the beast! Things get buckwild with The Purge (2013) and if you’re looking for 90 minutes of friends debating what crime to commit and making fake siren noises, you’ve come to the right place. We also take a break from home invasions to talk about childhood candy, misconceptions, how we would Purge, spooky sirens, the Pursuit of Puss, doubl…
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Meet us in Montauk to ice skate and watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004). This (maybe) anti-Valentine’s Day movie actually made us feel some hope in our dark hearts. We consider whether we would go through getting our memories wiped, team up against each other, dig deep into Antonio’s aliases, discuss Jim Carrey’s divisive looks, scho…
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Love is a many-splendored thing as we talk about romance and loss during Moulin Rouge! (2001). For all our tears, it’s still spectacular spectacular! While we gush about fond memories of this old fave and the cinnamon toast crunch of it all, we slip in conversations about Skye crying for dinosaurs, movies that made us bi, Antonio absinthe stories, …
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This episode is SO hot right now! This ridiculously good looking film, Zoolander (2001), had a surprising amount of serious discourse for a movie we picked to celebrate Antonio’s hatred of comedies. Break-dance fight with us as we chat about seltzer problems, bee and meme movies, unpacking Ben Stiller, fashion industry hot topics, Owen Wilson opini…
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Good morning, listeners! We are physically unable to stop the beat in our viewing of Hairspray (2007) and frankly, we don’t want to. This campy musical is something that is so personal to us along with our conversations about found footage DiGiorno’s, our constant begging for sponsors, the birthday cake scandal that rocked our friendship, detention…
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We ring in the new year with a movie about this shiny new era of social media: The Social Network (2010). It’s about Facebook. We make that very known. We also make it known that we are the Jeff Foxworthy of the gays and also talk about Rob Lowe, Skye’s hatred of magicians matching Quetzal’s hatred of Michael Cera, alleged actual cannibal Arm & Ham…
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Happy holidays, losers! We get into the festive spirit by watching one of the most fucked up and beloved Christmas movies ever: Home Alone (1990). It turns out the true meaning of Christmas is made up of heartwarming, demented traps. We also expose Antonio’s orchestra of sounds, give a shout out to child actors, discuss struggle meals, Kevin’s Saw …
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Take your shoes off and join us for our action-packed holiday special with Die Hard (1988). Is it a Christmas movie? We could answer that but instead we talk about Animal Crossing for way too long, our friend dynamics, small teenage boy Justin Long, Antonio’s lack of pay, Murder Boner Karl, each other’s villain personas, intense candy discourse, an…
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On today’s very queer episode we talk at length about love, lust, loss, and meowing during our watch of Call Me By Your Name (2017). Yes, we make nasty jokes we shouldn’t but have you met us? We also sit through the world’s worst cold open, struggle with every single actors’ name, mention the fault in our toes, first love, whether we would eat The …
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Y’all wanted a twist, eh? Spooky season isn’t over yet! Listen to us drunkenly try to grasp the story of our beloved Saw (2004). We miss plot points but instead of that, we rant about Youtube videos from the beginning of time, chick movies, Mickey Mouse’s tail, a thrilling game of “who gets the gun and who gets the condom?”, being watched, checking…
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In today’s episode, we declared that we wouldn’t create a think piece, yet we put our brain cells together to make thoughts! The discourse on Get Out (2017) got deep as we discussed the real implications for the lives of black folx in America. Amongst the discourse, there was also space for goofs on Little Caesars’ Crazy Sticks, remake blunders, a …
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We wanted to kick off Halloween month with a classic horror trope: sequels! We delve into the cinematic universe of The Conjuring 2 (2016) with surprisingly earnest discourse about spirits and whether we believe in ghosts. Don’t be scared, we still have time to laugh about The Phantom Nut, Antonio’s nasty comfort movies, Le Nun’s popularity with ch…
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The gang gets together in-person for the first time to record another roast of Mr. Foot as we watch old fave, Inglourious Basterds (2009). Does this film stand the test of time? Listen to us rave about Christoph Waltz and stress out about Nazi-hunting. We also discuss how Dalia found love in the Stone Age, Pitbill Shakespeare, cucumber misuses, the…
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We really love love in “The Wedding Singer” (1998) and debate how this stacks up in the rom com game while getting enamored by Mr. Adam Sandler. We have a microphone so you have to listen to us also discuss public toilet decisions, what draws us to a movie, church kisses, another Jam Ramcom shout out, heartbreak moments, four lokos with purple ketc…
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Have you ever wondered how many minutes we can spend talking about Christopher Evans? We watched Knives Out (2019) to determine the answer and the results are in: way too many! The twists and turns of this modern murder mystery left us gagged but we still talked about desecrating the freeway, Sonic the Hedgehog lust, mind shacks, sexy puking, fine …
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There’s sighing and swooning from half the gang while we watch Pride and Prejudice (2005). Meanwhile, the other half is too busy cackling to pay attention to the cinnamon toast crunch. We’re all 27 years old with no money or prospects so we spend way too much time discussing Blunch™, Céline Dion memories, accidentally recommending soft-core porn to…
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