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He's the Beaveman, a sarcastic, angry, Army veteran who is full of guarded optimism and a love of comedy. His counterpart, the Swan, is the Padmé to his Darth Vader, the Evil-Lyn to his Skeletor, and unfortunately someone who wouldn't know great comedy if it bit her on her lovely backside. Together they use the podcast as their own form of stress relief along with squad members Jumanji and Nemo (comedian Mike Cotayo) as well as a rotating cast of friends of the show. When they unite they are ...
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Send us a Text Message. Relationships are tough. There is no question about that. But why do some people do unspeakable things when they could just walk away? Well, you won't figure it out by listening to this episode. The Beaveman wants to talk about the squad's go-to for maiming, family annihilators, and dreams about burying people in the backyar…
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Send us a Text Message. If you were a competitive eating athlete, what would be your goto food? Would you eat a non-food item that is safe to consume? We all know by now that the Swan thinks she would be an amazing competitive eating warrior, but would would she prefer to eat? How about the rest of the squad? Join us for our weekly ridiculous conve…
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Send us a Text Message. Do you love your mom as much as the Beaveman even though she ignores you? Well, it's pretty clear that Swan and GiGi don't. Yikes. Mike loves his mom but he lost her years ago at the grocery store. Once again we get to hear about what a wonderful drive Mike is. What is this, accident number 20. Pretty sure he is missing out …
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Send us a Text Message. It;s a jaw poppin, teeth scraping, mouth breathing, rockin good time this week as the Slaptail Squad unites like a dysfunctional Vultron. Are we a day early, or 6 days late, you decide. Just another pointless conversation about sex or lack there of, Misophonia, and what ever other ridiculous flight of ideas zip across the di…
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Pitching the Shart-Tank series
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Send us a Text Message. The Squad unites to talk about what else, Nemo's adventures in toileting. Since the squad would love to see Nemo be famous and have his own TV show, they come up with an idea for a show he could relate to and host. Shart-Tank. Give a listen and think of your own product pitches for this show. Also, if you know of any disturb…
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Scrolling through social media
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Send us a Text Message. Beaveman, Swan, and GiGi scroll through social media and describe what populates on their feeds. Who has the most interesting feed? Can you guess what mostly pops up for the Beaveman? How about Swan and GiGI? Clearly the Beaveman has the most wholesome feed of all. Come hang out for your weekly chat. Thank you all for joinin…
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Sorry, you plan to dab what, where?
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Send us a Text Message. See if you can tell that AI wrote this and not the Beaveman Shout out to all our listeners all over the world and a special shout out to the people of Cyprus for helping us stay on the charts there. Ever wondered where the fine line between cultural appreciation and appropriation lies? Strap in with the Slaptail Squad, inclu…
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Send us a Text Message. The Squad unites for their weekly ridiculous conversation about? Well, a variety of things. The Swan doesn't want anyone acknowledging her hotness, which is fine, since no one has and lived in the past decade. The Beaveman, Jumanji, and GiGi like to look nice for themselves and others. The Swan wants the world to burn. Just …
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It's the Slaptail Squad's 200th episode
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode of the Slaptail Squad the squad unites to celebrate the 200th episode since rebranding. How best to celebrate? Livestream! Too bad the didn't open it to the public like they thought they did. Oh well, they are podcasters after all. Members of the squad pop in to say hi and converse as well as friends of the s…
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The Squad hangs with friend of the show Derek Lee Feltner
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode the squad hangs with Derek Lee Feltner, local comedic performer, comedian, artist, you get the picture. Just don't say his name wrong. It was a super fun conversation and Derek fit right in with the collective crazy that is the Slaptail Squad. The Squad talked about comedy, funerals, performing, and just gene…
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode the squad assembled to talk about how funerals bring out the dumb and annoying. Just when you think it is safe to mourn in peace, a dumb person doth approach. How do you handle the dumb and annoying? Do you just nod and look contemplative, or, do you remember what they said and bitch about them later. The Bea…
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Gen X and hair in places you don't want it
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode the squad invites Chewbacca's little nephew Nolan on to the show to talk about hair in all the wrong places and the Beaveman's commitment to get rid of his bottom hair. We also learn that Jumanji is ok with poop in his hair as long as no one else can see it. What? That can't be right. Guess you just have to l…
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Send us a Text Message. So you're not in a cult. But everything you do is dictated to you by one person, and you have no free will. Sounds like a cult to me. You say you are open minded, but you push your religion on others and won't discuss religions other than your own. Sounds like dangerous thinking. The Beaveman is on a documentary kick. This t…
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Send us a Text Message. The Beaveman, many would not say he is patient, but it is clear that he has the patience of a Saint. How else can he hold a podcast together with Swan and Mike. Mike is either playing with something and not paying attention, or just not paying attention. Swan can't help but talk over someone. Never try to run a joke by Swan,…
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JD vs. Jumanji: Out for justice
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode of the Slaptail Squad, JD Hutchins of the Monsters Lair podcast defends the slanderous statements flung about by Jumanji regarding those proud, glorious bastards known as security guards. On the last podcast as Jumanji looked down from his ivory tower of self-righteousness, he showed obvious disdain for all s…
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Send us a Text Message. The squad unites to tell some crazy stories very loosely based on occurrences experienced by listeners. Any similarities between characters in the stories and persons either living or dead are purely coincidental. Having said that, listen to some interesting renderings from members of the Slaptail Squad. Do you know someone …
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Birthdays, balance, and life with grandma
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Send us a Text Message. The Squad unites to talk about memories of birthdays past. Apparently the trauma continues for Beaveman and the Swan. No wonder they are together. The Beavemen shares stories of his challenges with balance and asks the members of the Slaptail Nation to share their own personal stories as well. They wrap it up by talking abou…
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Embarrassing stories of the Beaveman's childhood
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Send us a Text Message. The holidays are over and the squad unites after a short break. The Beaveman shares stories about his childhood. Some of them are a bit depressing but others are downright gross and embarrassing. At least most people would find them gross and embarrassing, but the Beaveman thinks they are totally normal and hilarious. There …
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode, Mike (aka Nemo) returns from his contract assignment in Arizona where he had many big adventures. Or so we thought. We really just confirmed that once again, Mike is a terrible driver. He doesn't seem to think so, bless his heart. The evidence suggests that he is however. Join the squad as they catch up with…
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Super Spreader Ronz and all the nastiness
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Send us a Text Message. On this episode of the Slaptail Squad, the Ronz makes disgusting noises all throughout the podcast. Don't worry, the Beaveman only left one in. He wanted the audience to experience at least one. Try not to vomit when you hear it. Swan and the Beaveman had to hear it in real time. It was an editing nightmare. Ronz thinks he j…
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Family gathering drama and all the balls
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Send us a Text Message. The squad unites with special guest GiGi for a fun conversation about all the holiday drama. Apparently, Jumanji lives a charmed life because he has no family drama and enjoys hanging with the fam. Maybe he is the normal one. The squad learns that GiGi is obsessed with balls, which leads to some fun ball talk. Thanks to all …
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Splitting yourself isn't cheating
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Send us a Text Message. The mighty 3 assemble. The Beaveman is losing his voice on the regular which is super frustrating for a podcaster so he lets his number 2 (Ronz) and his number 12 (the Swan) run the show. Ronz demonstrates his inability to support the decisions of others by insisting on purchasing Christmas gifts for persons that don't want …
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Holiday memories, oh, and Nicolas Cage
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Send us a Text Message. The Squad unites during this holiday season, when the world is going to $h1T, to talk about holiday memories. Some good, some bad. It's a fun trip down memory lane. They then talk about the genius that is Nicolas Cage and their plan to do a movie marathon to ensconce Jumanji in the culture that is Nicolas Cage. Can't wait fo…
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Send us a Text Message. The Slaptail Squad welcomes friend of the show Davison Sarai for a casual conversation about their new adventure as a content creator on Only Fans. Its an interaction that was sure to make Ronz slip right into several cringy moments. Don't worry, he did. Ever wonder if members of the squad would kiss each other for money? Ev…
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Possibly funny obsessive behaviors
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Send us a Text Message. The Squad unites to talk about their stupid obsessive behaviors. The Beaveman is a neat freak, the Ronz searches for trash, Jumanji is superstitious, and the Swan sleeps with a whore cat. What does it all mean? Who knows, they sure don't. As always, you are never going to learn anything from listening to these morons but it …
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