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Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder at age 36, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about DID, dissociation, trauma, and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
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There’s never a dull moment for hosts, Drew and Garden System, who are a couple that have both been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. While they are navigating their healing journey, they continue to manage full time careers, raise four teenagers and a house full of pets. Not only do they aim to speak to people who have lived experience with DID and their supporters, but also therapists and anyone who wants to learn more. The podcast talks about Dissociative Identity Disorder in ...
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Dissociative Identity Disorder

Alicia Haygood

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Life is like a puzzle. Each puzzle piece represents a stage of our life’s story. But what if your life puzzle starts with tragedy, complex trauma, and fear? These puzzle pieces can become misplaced or disorganized. Sometimes, this complex trauma is so tragic, that our mind removes these memories or sequesters them so deeply that a new identity is created to protect us from this tragedy. This is a story of just that. Debbie Klose survived decades of trauma and tragedy. The only thing protecti ...
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On the podcast, I delve into the world of multiple personalities. The condition is called Dissociative Identify Disorder (DID), and an estimated 1.5% of the people in the world have it. I’ll peer into the daily lives of those with DID to see how they cope with their other personalities (called alters). On occasion, I’ll speak with their loved ones—especially in cases where the person with DID refuses to seek help. Please join me for what I promise will be an interesting journey.
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We share a family update, including the impact of the first month of political changes. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work…
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Drew & Garden System discuss in-patient/hospitalization care for people living with dissociative identity disorder with Donna Earle, LPC, CCPT. They cover important topics such as helpful tips for hospital staff, the differences between the different levels of care, and identifying potential treatment centers. Please note that the hospitals and tre…
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We share an attachment wound metaphor from the scary movie, which we do not discuss in detail. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and a…
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We do more Star Wars therapy. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in gr…
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We share about what is happening in therapy with parts work. Edit note: Jules says the marble jar idea came from Brene Brown. We have avoided that author and our therapist had not cited that. So we did not know, apologies. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once y…
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We share about our surprise trip to Seattle. *Edit note: the language test can be either English or French Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the w…
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We share an experience at the dentist that felt activating, and how we used recovery to cope in the moment. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the …
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From ISSTD: ISSTD is thrilled to launch our third annual Ask the Experts Series - Benefitting the Fridley Fund. Register for the AM or the PM series to ensure you do not miss out on a minute of engaging and informal discussion with seasoned professionals! Individual registration is also open for our first sessions with Emma Sunshaw. All proceeds fr…
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Drew & Garden System have a candid conversation with Amy Wagner, LMFT/LMHC! Amy Wagner is an EMDRIA approved consultant and they all discuss the many dos and don'ts of using EMDR when clients live with dissociative identity disorder. They discuss the eight phases, resourcing skills, and what to do when clients dissociate or switch during session. Y…
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We share from How It Works. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in grou…
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We share a conversation with Larry Ruhl about recovery. Note: There are background sounds when an alarm goes off during our conversation. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. …
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We share a conversation with Larry Ruhl about recovery. Link to “Little Bit Culty” episode about differentiating between healthy & culty 12-step community dynamics. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari br…
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Did you know that dissociative disorders are almost as common as mood disorders? Drew & Garden System chat with Dorinna Ruh, LCSW and cover valuable information about prevalence rates, how to recognize dissociation in yourself or in your client, ways to assess for a dissociative disorder, and a few EMDR tips as well! If you're working with complex …
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We share from How It Works. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in grou…
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We share from How It Works. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in grou…
  continue reading
 
We share from How It Works. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support check-in grou…
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We share from How It Works. “We didn’t cause it. We can’t control it. We can’t cure it.” But we can contribute compassion. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are se…
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We share from the first chapter of Laura Brown’s book, Not the Price of Admission. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on a…
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We share about discovering How It Works. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support …
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Upcoming courses we are teaching with ISSTD: Advanced Topics in Complex Trauma and Dissociative Disorders (Level 3 Course) Dates: April 14, April 28, May 12, June 2, June 16, July 7, July 21, August 18, September 8 REGISTER HERE. The Complexities of Complex Trauma (Level 1 Course) Dates: May 5, May 19, June 9, June 23, July 14, July 28, August 11, …
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Jules and I recap the 2024 ISSTD Fall Virtual Conference. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note:…
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Jules and I recap the 2024 ISSTD Fall Virtual Conference, sharing about a session that focused on attachment trauma. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an …
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Jules and I recap the 2024 ISSTD Fall Virtual Conference, sharing about the neuroscience updates from fMRI studies with Simone Reinders. Referenced squirrel video is HERE. You can read about the research of Simone Reinders HERE at King's College. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movi…
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We share some of what we learned from the recovery community recently. HERE is the link to the detachment pamphlet mentioned. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are…
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We recap a presentation Dan Shaw gave at the ISSTD Washington, DC Regional Conference in fall 2024. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website …
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We learn to hold the presence of our therapist even when we are not in her office. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on a…
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Charlottes from the community shares their story of lived experience with us, and we talk about the experience of learning about DID in academia. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join group…
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Note: We highly encourage you to listen to Parts I & II before listening to this episode, as we continue to honor our truth and authenticity, which may feel more intense than the previous episodes on this subject. We would like for you to be able to determine if this episode will be something you want to listen to or pass on, so here are some detai…
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We try to process one week post-election. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support…
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We give an update on therapy after sharing our symposium artwork in session. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any dev…
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Drew & Garden System have a candid conversation with Garden System's two oldest children, both adults now, about what it was like growing up with a parent that has dissociative identity disorder. Please visit acoupleofmultiples.com to see all of our current offerings! Our amazing sponsors for Season 3: The Institute for Creative Mindfulness, one of…
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We share about symposium recovery - and progress! Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer…
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We share some of what we learned at the McLean presentation at Harvard. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device j…
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Jon Cleveland shares with us about psychedelic research and HPPD. Jon’s email: [email protected] Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the webs…
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We read and respond to listener emails. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any device just fine. We have peer support c…
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We talk with ISSTD clinician Valerie Sinason (UK) about "infantacidal attachment". The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE. The poem we referenced, which we wrote in 2020: In the last week, I watched my 5 year-old daughter's butterflies be born. They came home with us for quarantine, a gift of hope and peace while she herself is dying,…
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Drew & Garden System give an off script interview of each other and share personal stories of what it is like to be a parent when you have dissociative identity disorder. They each dive into topics such as how different selves show up as a parent, interact with the children, and how they navigate the challenges that having DID brings to the role of…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The “weeping camel” video is HERE. The referenced article is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, t…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any…
  continue reading
 
We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any…
  continue reading
 
Drew and Garden System talk about how in the beginning a system feels separated from each other, even feeling like enemies. There often is difficulty in listening to selves, because it is hard to learn and believe what parts hold and about trauma that occurred. They talk about how they developed relationships within their systems, navigating selves…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on any…
  continue reading
 
We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. Social Media referenced (shared with consent): Kit - @squidont on TikTok Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to jo…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE. The referenced article is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Onc…
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We share an update from therapy, about learning how memory time and now time connect through re-enactments… and start looking at Memory Time where the pain is. Note: This therapy session happened three days after the last session where we did the four questions that helped me see how Memory Time invades Now Time. I thought I was going in to my ther…
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Drew & Garden System go more in depth about sex & intimacy and how it affects one's romantic relationship. They talk about sexual alters, the challenges littles bring, and how they have navigated personal experiences in the moment. They wrap up discussing shame and how they came into acceptance of their sexuality. Obvious trigger warnings apply. In…
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We explain attachment wounds. The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE. Our website is HERE: System Speak Podcast. You can submit an email to the podcast HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. Once you are in, you can use a non-Apple device or non-safari browser to join groups HERE. Once you are set up, then the website and app work on …
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We share how our therapist walked us through the “hidden agenda” of re-enactment that shows up as attachment drama in relationships. Four Reflections: 1. Three positive relationship characteristics from relationships in my childhood 2. Three negative relationship characteristics from relationships in my childhood 3. Three things I needed most in ch…
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We explain attachment strategies. Citation for the percentages came from a study of 10,500 mothers: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616730902814762 Updated Diversity Aspects: https://jiaap.in/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/9-Seema.pdf https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/21/6/655 https://www.proquest.com/openview/c3ad3752217e211f6a04670d7304ced…
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