#193: Dr. Jim Loehr: Change the Stories You Tell Yourself

The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish

What if reaching the next level of success wasn't determined by another skill, degree, or course but by something that changed on the inside? That's what Dr. Jim Loehr believes, and in this episode, he reveals everything he knows about mental toughness and winning the mind game. Shane and Loehr discuss the radical importance of the stories you tell yourself—including how they can damage your kids—and how to change the negative stories you believe. Loehr also shares the best reflection questions to ask yourself to reveal personal blindspots, the importance of rituals for calming anxiety and performing under pressure, and how the best in the world use their recovery time effectively. Dr. Jim Loehr is a world-renowned performance psychologist and author of 16 books. From his more than 30 years of experience and applied research, Dr. Loehr believes the single most important factor in successful achievement, personal fulfillment, and life satisfaction is the strength of one’s character. Dr. Loehr possesses a masters and doctorate in psychology and is a full member of the American Psychological Association.

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(00:00) Intro

(03:20) Parenting and storytelling

(06:15) How to determine whether or not the stories are limiting or enabling you

(08:41) What the stories world-class performers tell themselves

(15:02) How to change the stories you tell yourself

(23:26) Questions to journal about

(26:16) Private voices vs. public voices (and how they impact your kids)

(31:32) How to help your friends change their stories

(37:30) How to better come alongside your kids to prevent destructive behavior

(44:48) - (45:06) What Loehr knows about high performers that others miss

(53:12) On time and energy

(01:06:26) Conquering the "between point" ritual

(01:11:50) On rituals vs. habits

(01:15:54) How to increase your mental toughness

(01:23:51) On success