Anna Rowe on Romance Scams

The Human Risk Podcast

What would you do if someone you trusted turned out to be living a double life?

Episode Summary
On this episode, I speak with Anna Rowe, a brave and resilient advocate for victims of romance fraud. Anna shares her deeply personal story of being deceived by someone who led a double life, manipulating her emotions and trust for over a year. Her journey from victim to activist is one of courage and determination to bring awareness to the emotional trauma caused by these scams.
During our conversation, Anna explains the stages of manipulation she experienced, from grooming to love bombing to the devastating moment when she discovered the truth. We also discuss the broader issue of romance fraud, the legal challenges victims face, and why the law needs to change to protect people from emotional predators.
You'll gain insight into how these scams unfold, the lasting emotional impact they have on victims, and the importance of raising awareness to stop others from falling into the same traps. Anna’s story serves as both a warning and a call to action for change.
Guest Biography
Anna describes herself as a teacher turned advocate for victims of romance fraud after falling victim to an elaborate emotional scam.
In 2015, Anna met a man online who deceived her for over a year, using a fake identity and manipulating her emotions through intense grooming and love-bombing tactics. After discovering the truth, she turned her experience into a campaign to raise awareness of romance fraud and help others avoid similar situations.
Anna is the founder of "Catch the Catfish," an organization that supports victims of emotional fraud and advocates for changes in legislation to address non-financial romance scams. She is also a co-founder of "LoveSaid," an umbrella organization that tackles all forms of romance fraud, from emotional to financial exploitation.
Through her website, public speaking, and media appearances, Anna continues to fight for the recognition of romance fraud as a serious crime that leaves lasting emotional scars.
AI-Generated Timestamped Summary
[00:00:00] – Introduction
[00:00:24] – Anna’s Background: Anna begins by sharing a brief overview of her story. She explains that in August 2015, she started using dating apps for the second time after having had a successful two-and-a-half-year relationship with someone she met online. She talks about how being a single mom with limited time and resources led her to rely on dating apps.
[00:01:35] – Anna's Personality and Approach to Relationships: Anna discusses her attachment style, describing herself as someone who gets attached to people quickly—both in romantic and non-romantic contexts—and becomes fiercely loyal. She shares that although she rarely feels romantic connections when she does, she "falls hard and fast."
[00:02:00] – The Start of the Deception: Anna recounts how she was drawn to a particular dating profile not because of the man’s picture but because of his words. His profile described him as humble, grounded, and someone who hated poor communication and mind games, which made Anna feel like he had been hurt before and wouldn’t hurt her. She matched with him and started exchanging messages the next morning.
[00:03:00] – The Relationship Begins: Anna describes how their online communication turned into an intense connection over the span of three months, mirroring the way her previous successful online relationship had started. She shares that even before they met in person, she expressed to him that she was scared by how close she already felt to him, signalling the emotional intensity early on.
[00:04:00] – The Emotional Rollercoaster Begins: Anna reflects on the emotional intensity of the relationship after meeting in person, describing it as "incredibly intense." She shares that the connection felt like something out of a soulmate story but that she now recognizes it as part of the manipulation.
[00:07:08] – The Beginning of Instincts: Anna talks about the early stages of her relationship, explaining how she started to feel something was off after her partner unexpectedly pulled away. She shares how her gut instinct kicked in, even though she initially tried to ignore it. This part highlights the importance of trusting your intuition when something feels wrong, especially in online relationships.
[00:25:00] – The Moment of Discovery: Anna recalls the pivotal moment when she inadvertently matched with her partner on a dating app, realizing he was still active and using the same scripted lines as before. She describes the shock of finding out that her partner had not only lied to her but was actively deceiving others. T
[00:37:00] – The Investigator Within: Using her research skills, Anna reveals how she tracked her partner’s location and pieced together his real identity. She explains the various techniques she used, including distance tracking and LinkedIn searches, to find out where he worked and his real name.
[00:54:24] – The Legal System’s Failure: Anna discusses her long battle with the legal system, detailing how the police initially dismissed her case despite clear evidence of multiple victims. She talks about the difficulty in getting authorities to recognize the severity of these scams and the emotional toll they take on victims.
[01:05:00] – The Emotional Toll and Advocacy for Change: Anna reflects on the emotional damage caused by her experience, describing the “triple trauma” victims endure: the relationship ending, discovering the deception, and losing trust in oneself. She also talks about her campaign for legal reform, calling for better protection for victims and stricter regulations on online dating platforms.
Episode Links
Love Said - https://www.lovesaid.org/
Catch the Catfish website - https://catchthecatfish.com/