011: Advice from an Empty Nester with J. Rosemarie
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J. Rosemarie joins Kelly on the podcast today to give her perspective on raising her children as a single mom and coming out the other side. She first became a single mom when she came home one day to find that her husband had abandoned her and her children, taking valuables with him, including the kids’ piggy bank. Rosemarie admits that those first few years were hard, and she remembers fondly the moments when even random strangers would come to her rescue. It wasn’t until she started going to group therapy with other single parents that she realized that she wasn’t alone in this life. It was also the first time that she was forced to reckon with the negative perception of being a single mom.
Likewise, she remembers struggling to balance a job whilst being a single parent, and how, for a while, she suffered from imposter syndrome and couldn’t juggle the many hats she was forced to wear. Rosemarie goes on to talk about a topic few on this podcast have: raising your children to leave the home. As an empty nester, she’s often overwhelmed with this sense of loss for her children, but she reminds herself of how proud of them she is. Now that she is on her own, she has finally found the time to take care of herself, and after years of putting others first, she’s glad that she is at last her number one priority.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Being abandoned unexpectedly
- The value in the kindness of strangers
- Her experience in group therapy
- The negative perception of single moms
- Imposter Syndrome
- A lack of foundation during Rosemarie’s childhood
- Juggling a job as a single mom
- Raising your children to leave the home
- The importance of taking care of herself
Quotes:
“And then as I went to walk through the house, I realized that, you know, my ex had just packed, left, and took even the kids’ piggy bank.”
“I thought I was the only one, you know, going through all this mental anguish… And I thought to myself, ‘it would be nice if all single moms at the time tried this resource.’”
“It took me six years to start the podcast, because my mind just told me that, one: nobody wanted to hear it.”
“It's really scary, because I didn't have to think about just me.”
“Kids are resilient, and it's not as bad as you think.”
“It's inevitable, and it's not a loss. It's something for you to be proud of that you raised these humans on your own. And now they're good enough, big enough, and old enough to raise their own humans.”
“The children need a father. Hopefully their father is willing and able, but at the very least, find your child a male mentor who can be a good example to him.”
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