FYRE Festival : Part 2

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“I need you to take one for the team.” This is a directive from con-artist Billy McFarland to his loyal employee, Andy King. At the time, Billy was asking Andy to go to the Bahamian Customs Office and suck the official’s dick so he would release cases of Evian for the Fyre Festival. And Andy was going to do it. Now THAT’s the kind of loyalty all bosses must demand from their employees.

Poor Andy King, though. Caitlin’s not a fan but Sue has a lot of compassion for him because she has been in that situation before. Not that exact situation, to be fair, but she has done some weird shit for her bosses. One time, when she was a receptionist at an ad agency, she had to go to the Manhattan Mall and pick out some birthday presents for her boss’s daughter. That maybe isn’t super weird. BUT her last workplace had Terry Richardson photos all over the walls, which definitely created a hostile work environment. (HWE.) Eventually, they got taken down and replaced by a gigantic print of Kate Moss smoking. So.

Anyway, Sue Smith and Caitlin Brodnick are back with Episode 2 of their coverage of the Fyre Festival, the trash fire brainchild of scammers Billy McFarland and Ja Rule.

In this episode, they finish talking about the execution of the “festival” (a word used verrrry loosely) and then discuss all the thematic elements at play, just like this was a literature class or something, but way more fun because literature is boring. And Sue can authoritatively say that because she has a B.A. in English. Imagine paying that much money to study a language you already speak? Her younger self truly did not understand how the world worked.

Speaking of not understanding the world, yeah the main themes in these documentaries are racism and substance abuse..

Also, they would love for rich people to weigh in on the logistics and mind fuckery of this all. When someone orders you to put $3,000 on a digital wristband the night before the festival, why do you do it. Also, HOW? How do you have so much money that it’s just a drop in the bucket for you. Again, no shade, but please call in because they truly can’t wrap our heads around it. And they are not judging you for being rich, at all. To the contrary, they both would like to be rich one day. They are, however, judging you for being suckers! Hahahaha jkjkjk

Here’s some further reading:
The New Yorker: The Fyre Festival Was A Luxury Nightmare

Marie Claire: Everything You Need to Know About the Summer of Scam

VICE: Let’s Just Do It and Be Legends, Man
The Fyre Festival’s Pitch Deck
Maryann Rolle’s GoFundMe

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DISCLAIMER: We are comedians and this is satire. C’mon.

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