Ep. 14: Career Failure

Career Design Podcast

Episode 14

SPEAKERS

Brian, Lindsay

Lindsay 00:00

I'm Lindsay Mustain and this is the career design podcast made for driven ambitious square pegs and round holes type professionals who see things differently and challenge the status quo. We obliterate obstacles and unlock hidden pathways to overcome and succeed where others have not stagnation feels like death. And we are unwilling to compromise our integrity and settle for being average in any way. We are the backbone of any successful business and those who overlook our potential are doomed to a slow demise. We do work that truly matters aligns with our purpose, and in turn, we make our lasting mark on the world. We are the dreamers, doers, legends, and visionaries who are called to make our most meaningful contribution and love what we do.
Welcome to the career design podcast. I'm Lindsay Mustain. Today I'm with Bryan Heinz who literally stopped me in the tracks when he made this powerful statement about progressing on your career path. And then what I called getting bit slapped back into a different zone of the path and where you were actually trying to proceed in your career. So I want to talk a little bit about that today because I felt like you had such good insight on truly walking the path and why career path failure isn't really a failure, and what it actually means when you don't get what you're truly focused or I think you said hyper-focused on. So tell me a little bit about you, Brian, and why this came up between us.

Brian 01:22

It came up we were talking about as a group we were talking about the past and our goals and if you got stuck, hyper-focused, and only focusing on one company or one area, you weren't allowing other influences to come in. And, you know, everybody has a group and everybody in dream job hack and has come to the come to some realization that they need another influence. So that's the beginning and after years of ins and outs and ups and downs and lots of layoffs, you know, being able to realize that you have to allow that and coming to that conclusion or that realization many years ago at this point. And it's you know, obviously built to that point. But getting to where I'm at now has only been because I've allowed other ways of thinking and allowed what I call the universe to come in and influence and understanding what the influence is.

Lindsay 02:24

I say you know, I use the universe too. But whatever you want to use that as your higher belief, that is what I want you to insert into the universe here and allowing the pathway. But one of the things I want to focus on here is that when we get really focused, we're thinking, Okay, I have this career path, like I knew I wanted to be a CEO like that was one thing. I'm like, What am I going to do? Well, in fact, I had one person tell me, they're like, I'm gonna bloody all of the toes on the way up the ladder like that's the way like they're super aggressive masculine, like dominate energy. And then somehow, it's like, we're reaching out for him to get snatched away. And this happens, like when we get laid off, or when we are at the final stage of an interview, and we're just ready to take that next step. And then it gets taken away. What happens to people when that happens to them?

Brian 03:14

Well, I think the first, the first thing you have to realize is its loss. And you're going to go through the five stages of grief, you really are. And whether it's you know, lay off is a big, a big deal. You know, because it affects you in on so many levels. But rejection is the same way. It's just a very shorter, the shorter span, of dealing with that. You can, you know, you get a rejection letter, you can deal with that. And about, you know, in an hour, you can push that one aside. Or if you really want it may take you half a day or a day, you know, you get laid off and your livelihoods affected what do you do next? And especially if you don't have any experience, you don't know what to do, you don't know how to find a job. You know, the first time I got laid off, I didn't know how to do anything I had. I realized later that I didn't know how to do it, but I didn't know how to do anything about how do I keep going and how do I find my next opportunity. And so you go through that stage, you go through loss, you go through denial, you go through the what the fuck am I gonna do stage first kind of thing and then you progress through the rest of it. And then you get motivated. You know you find a way to be motivated. And if you don't allow for help outside of that, and you try to do it by yourself. You're not going to you're not going to succeed.

Lindsay 04:42

Absolutely. So you get this goal like okay, at the very end, it's taken away and you're going through the stages of loss. But you said that's the universe redirecting you So talk to me about this because I like to talk about the inner stage or the inner state of yourself if you were feeling chaotic and misaligned internally, that is exactly how the world will show up for you. So whether you want to call it manifesting or whatever if you ever walked into something where you're like, this is going to go badly, I guarantee you, it's going to go badly. If you walk in with the idea like this is going to go, well, life is always working. For me, that also tends to work. So talk to me about that idea.

Brian 05:20

Well, it's exactly what you put out, you give back, what you put into the universe is what's going to come back to you. If you're going to, if you're going to just focus on the negative, and all you're looking at it, the negative aspects of the situation, the fear, the loss, the anger, the as a Star Wars fan, that all lead to the dark side kind of thing. And, yeah, and, but if that's what you're continually thinking and continually putting out to the universe, that's what's going to come back to you. Because that feeds, you can tell the universe what you want, and you can show the universe what you want and ultimately, that's what comes back to you and successful people, in most cases, do that. There's a couple of assholes in the bunch but you know, in most cases, they've done something well to somebody, for somebody or for a group of people, you know, yes, they started a company to make money but at the same time, the, what they learned along the way was the value of the was the value of people and the value of those that have helped me help make them successful.

Lindsay 06:41

So how do you reframe when you have that opportunity taken away from you, how do you reframe the idea, instead of saying something's wrong with me into that was not meant or it is just known, for now not know, forever?

Brian 06:57

I think it takes somebody else to tell you that, for me, the situation was everything around me was fear, and oh my god, what are we going to do? And somebody, I had the luck of being given outplacement services and understanding that this isn't the end, it's just time for something new. And learning that in my 20s, you know, to where I'm at now in my 40s, you know, are two very, it's I learned that a long time ago has changed a lot for me as years have gone on. And, you know, when I finally took the time to understand what the universe was, what the energy around me was, and how to put that all together. That's what has kept me sane, kept me from following falling into those lows, that, you know, we experienced as a group, you know, some weeks as well. And then just being able to understand that work and do that takes somebody else to remind you that this isn't the end, it's something new for you to do, let's go do something new. And the funny thing is, I haven't deviated from the basic industries that I've been in the whole time. It's been the same industry, and, or a version thereof. But I never, I have really haven't strayed from the industries that I've been tied to my entire career.

Lindsay 08:42

So I like to say that this is a reframing of the idea of what you experienced, and then redirection. It's kind of like when you're coaching little kids, I think about my son who played soccer, and you're like, no, the goal that you're going for is that way, it's just your learning that the where the actual in the game is and that if you're so tied to the outcome, then everything else looks like failure. And instead, you either win. Or you either learn if you take that and so the idea that you're always failing, and changes to that I am always progressing and I'm always getting better and I'm constantly being redirected to what is correct for me, that will allow you a lot more opportunities to bring forth and recognize opportunities versus being so focused that you literally have blinders on you have tunnel vision on the Indigo you don't allow yourself to receive. So I wanted to talk about like allowing the path what what what advice would you give you maybe three ways that after you get that redirection, how do you allow yourself to fall into that and then to that, so that scarcity, mindset, that abundance mindset of growth and redirection and reframing versus something's wrong with me, I've failed, and I'm not good enough. How do we change that? What would you say worth? Three things that you would do.

Brian 10:05

First is actually looking for the positive, the first thing I do is look for the positive in the experience you just had, you had an experience. And the, that's the key to understanding the whole situation is, you had an experience. And it's the same for if you're fired or laid off, or whatever, you had, the positiveness of having that experience, and building on what you learned in that experience and saying, alright, I'm done learning at this place. Or I learned what I needed to learn about this company in this interview. It's not where I'm supposed to be. So first and foremost, I look, I look at all of those situations as an experience and another learning opportunity. And take that, and then once you find them, once you find that experience, and what the positive look for the positive in it, as well, you know, whether you hated the company or not, there's something positive that came out of that experience, and something that you learned, and it could be simply, I don't ever want to work for a boss like that, again.

Lindsay 11:17

Yes, embrace the pain,

Brian 11:20

Right? And then turn. The second thing I do is, stop and take a breath. And let, let it go. Just stop and let it go. And somebody in our group, put that on the Facebook page the other day, you know, stop and let it go. And maybe have a conversation about it. And when you talk through, even if it's your spouse, your best friend, or whatever, when you talk through it, sometimes you realize, yeah, that would have turned into a pile of crap, and not been the place for me. And then it's simply saying, alright, what's next, and looking for what's always looking for what's next, in my very first outplacement situation I was ever in a mentor at the time, someone who I had worked with, we both got laid off from the same company, but he was at a higher level than me, the one thing he, he taught me that has always stuck for me is when you land, whether you land your dream position or not, you're always looking for your next opportunity. You never take your sight off of what your next opportunity is. And while a dream job may be what you think it is, now, in five years, it changes.

Lindsay 12:45

And maybe even say that your it changes the moment you're in it.

Brian 12:49

Exactly. Exactly. I would agree with that. I would agree with that. You know,

Lindsay 12:55

I'm gonna recap here, which you said, there are three ways to reframe. And when you have that redirection, which is one look for the positive in it, even if it's that I had something to add to my resume, and they paid me for being here.

Brian 13:07

Exactly.

Lindsay 13:08

The second is to take a breath, allow your feelings, and allow them to release. Because if we hang on to that, that energy that and we embed it internally in our body is that will manifest outside of ourselves. So for you, if we have that we feel like we feel less than if that becomes our story, we integrate it, we have to learn how to take a breath, and whatever you need to do to take care of yourself to increase your state, but then to let it go. And the last one was to think about what's next. And so not we get to this place where like a shame spiral, I should have done this. I could have done that I was like I'm not good enough. Whatever it is, but to think about Okay, this is redirection. So what do I want to choose intentionally for myself to go forward next?

Brian 13:53

Perfect.

Lindsay 13:55

Okay. Amazing. Brian, thank you so much for joining me. I feel like since you did talk a little bit about dream job hack. Will you tell somebody a little bit about your experience in that program and what you've seen around because you've been able to witness a lot of success including your own.

Brian 14:08

Right, exactly. So the biggest, the biggest thing for me is it's a family and it's a group of people in the same situation. And when or with the same desire for something more in something greater for themselves. And whether that's what you really thought it was or not when you first come into it. That's what it is. For me, things revolve around energy. And you know, I, I had followed you for years on Facebook or LinkedIn and finally decided, well, let's listen to this chick and see what's going on and see what she insight on and your energy was what grabbed me in but once I got into it and once I read into it, it was a no brainer for me because it was about people, which this whole thing is about people and sharing experience and supporting each other. I'm a big believer in service to others. And, you know, it would allow me to share my experience where I've come from and see what see if that helped anybody, you know, or see what came about. And then what I found was, you know, the in the overall dream job hack program, everybody's there for the same reason and sharing. And there's, there's, you know, a lot of sharing that goes on in the members-only Facebook page and things like that, that you can learn something every day from a single individual. If you find it to join the collective, you know, you get an even closer-knit group that, you know, success, success breeds success. And as I've seen people come and go in that group, because they've found success or didn't know they were going to find success and something that we've all said, Hey, you should try that. Or you should put that to posting, you know, or something like that. It's, it's, the group itself has come together. And while you know, I found success, in some ways, I still come back to that group, every week if, if possible, because I'm going to learn something, and I'm going to learn something more, or I'm going to share something and I'm going to share my success with the group. And hopefully, that bleeds off onto somebody else.

Lindsay 16:51

Amazing. Or we are getting ready to open the doors to dream job hack, actually this next month in April of 2021. And there's some really cool thing. So if you are listening, and you were interested, I'm going to drop a link for you to sign up for the waiting list. So you can get to hear all about what's coming out. I haven't offered this training in a couple of months. And it's going to be new and revised. And I'm so excited. And to give you ideas how powerful this program is, in 2020, the middle of the greatest recession of our lifetimes, we were able to create job offers 2.1 job offers a raise of about $50,000 over your last salary in less than nine weeks. That's what the average client did. That meant there were some people who had multiple hundreds of $1,000. And there are people who still got like $10,000. And we were able to average that and it becomes when you intentionally focus and you allow yourself to receive and you understand what you're truly selling. So Brian, thank you so much for joining me today. I've so enjoyed it and thank you again for sharing your voice and your gift with the world.

Brian 17:50

Thanks for having me.