22 - That Four Letter Word

B-RAD with Brad Toews

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." - Marianne Williamson

I grew up thinking that a certain four letter word - starts with an F, ends with a K, with UC in the middle - was the worst possible word. You had to stay clear of that word.

All the while I was trapped by another four letter word, something much more insidious, dark, and damaging than a swear word. I was trapped by fear.

Fear has been a powerful force in my life, always present but popping up especially during stressful times.

When I was younger my mom wrote out the Bible verse, II Timothy 1:7, on a 3x5 index card: God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind.

I clung to this verse for years, carrying it in my pocket like a talisman. And although I've now lost the piece of paper, I've held onto it in my heart.

The words brought me comfort but I only ever I understood them intellectually, I didn't feel them in my body. The only power I experienced was the power of fear and it was louder than anything else.

Until I participated in a Breathwork session led by Tristan Montoya.

As I explain in the podcast, after a series of prescribed breathing exercises lasting about 15 minutes I started to feel an electric-like current in my body. Starting in my chest, going down to my hips and up to my neck and the base of my chin.

I have never experienced this feeling of power in my body. It was surreal and incredibly moving. Afterward I remembered that scripture my mom shared with me, that God had not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and sound mind. Now I'd actually experienced that feeling of power in my body.

When I experienced the power in my body in the Breathwork session it wasn't about expelling fear. I didn't have to reject the fear or work against it.

It simply could not exist where there was no room for it.

Join me this episode as I get vulnerable about a deep personal struggle with fear, explore the teaching of some wise folks, and tell about my experience of when the words of an ancient book moved from intellectual belief to bodily knowing.

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