176. Help! Mom isn't happy with her senior living community - what are my options?

Aging in Style with Lori Williams

You’ve taken all the necessary steps to move your loved one into senior living - only to discover they don’t like it. What do you do if your loved one wants to move?

As a senior living expert, I’ve seen this situation happen a few times and have tips to help:

· To reduce your odds of choosing the wrong community, I recommend working with a senior placement advisor or another professional who can help you make an informed choice.

· Understand there’s an adjustment period. I recommend giving it 90 days before you explore other options. Know that it can take a while to get into the groove, and it’s almost like starting at a new school.

· Keep your lines of communication open. Go to the Executive Director of the community with your concerns. If the complaint is the food, perhaps speak to the dining staff – there are always alternate menus. The same idea applies to the activities director if your loved one is feeling lonely, and having trouble getting involved. They may be able to match you with an extroverted ‘ambassador.’

· Do your homework and read the contract to know what kind of notice you will need to give if this community is simply not the right fit.

Keep in mind you can break the lease if there’s a bigger issue such as dementia when you’re in a senior apartment, for example. Just be sure to have a doctor’s note.

Of course, there will be different needs for acclimating to a new community. Some memory care communities recommend letting your loved one settle in first, but others might allow their loved ones to spend the first few nights. Every situation is unique. Be sure to set expectations with your loved one as they’re in the process of getting settled.

From what I’ve seen, some people can be negative regardless of the community and don’t like change. Maybe your mom didn’t want to move in the first place, but it was best for her safety. Keep in mind it can be difficult to move after living in the same house for 50 years. Plus, I know it can cause guilt for loved ones, especially if the circumstance of the move wasn’t ideal.

Again, if you do find yourself in need of a change, please consider enlisting the help of a professional. They can take stock of your likes, dislikes and specific needs to match you with the right community.

Topics discussed:

1. Tips for choosing the right senior community
2. How to adjust to senior living
3. How to switch senior communities
4. Perks of using a senior placement specialist

Takeaways from this episode:

1. A senior placement advisor can review your care needs, likes and dislikes to help find the best community for you and prevent any mistakes.
2. Give it at least 90 days in a new senior community before considering another living situation. The first few weeks are the hardest.
3. It’s important to keep a line of communication open with people like the executive director, wellness director, dining staff and activities coordinator to learn what’s available to you as a resident.
4. Do your homework on where you move and be sure to set expectations with your loved one.
5. Keep in mind incidents like falling can happen anywhere, even with the best protections in place.
6. 
   

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Get my new book, 'Surrounded by Love: One's Family Journey Through Stroke Recovery': https://loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/book

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Tips on Touring Senior Communities:

https://www.loriwilliams-seniorservices.com/aging-in-style-podcast/episode/7925ffcd/026-tips-on-touring-senior-communities