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Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder at age 36, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about DID, dissociation, trauma, and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
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There’s never a dull moment for hosts, Drew and Garden System, who are a couple that have both been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. While they are navigating their healing journey, they continue to manage full time careers, raise four teenagers and a house full of pets. Not only do they aim to speak to people who have lived experience with DID and their supporters, but also therapists and anyone who wants to learn more. The podcast talks about Dissociative Identity Disorder in ...
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Dissociative Identity Disorder

Alicia Haygood

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Life is like a puzzle. Each puzzle piece represents a stage of our life’s story. But what if your life puzzle starts with tragedy, complex trauma, and fear? These puzzle pieces can become misplaced or disorganized. Sometimes, this complex trauma is so tragic, that our mind removes these memories or sequesters them so deeply that a new identity is created to protect us from this tragedy. This is a story of just that. Debbie Klose survived decades of trauma and tragedy. The only thing protecti ...
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On the podcast, I delve into the world of multiple personalities. The condition is called Dissociative Identify Disorder (DID), and an estimated 1.5% of the people in the world have it. I’ll peer into the daily lives of those with DID to see how they cope with their other personalities (called alters). On occasion, I’ll speak with their loved ones—especially in cases where the person with DID refuses to seek help. Please join me for what I promise will be an interesting journey.
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We share from How It Works. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and i…
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We share from How It Works. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and i…
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We share from How It Works. “We didn’t cause it. We can’t control it. We can’t cure it.” But we can contribute compassion. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and i…
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We share from the first chapter of Laura Brown’s book, Not the Price of Admission. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@syst…
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We share about discovering How It Works. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the natu…
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Upcoming courses we are teaching with ISSTD: Advanced Topics in Complex Trauma and Dissociative Disorders (Level 3 Course) Dates: April 14, April 28, May 12, June 2, June 16, July 7, July 21, August 18, September 8 REGISTER HERE. The Complexities of Complex Trauma (Level 1 Course) Dates: May 5, May 19, June 9, June 23, July 14, July 28, August 11, …
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We share some of what we learned from the recovery community recently. HERE is the link to the detachment pamphlet mentioned. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website an…
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We recap a presentation Dan Shaw gave at the ISSTD Washington, DC Regional Conference in fall 2024. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assum…
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We learn to hold the presence of our therapist even when we are not in her office. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma a…
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Charlottes from the community shares their story of lived experience with us, and we talk about the experience of learning about DID in academia. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Conten…
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Note: We highly encourage you to listen to Parts I & II before listening to this episode, as we continue to honor our truth and authenticity, which may feel more intense than the previous episodes on this subject. We would like for you to be able to determine if this episode will be something you want to listen to or pass on, so here are some detai…
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We try to process one week post-election. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nat…
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We give an update on therapy after sharing our symposium artwork in session. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or …
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Drew & Garden System have a candid conversation with Garden System's two oldest children, both adults now, about what it was like growing up with a parent that has dissociative identity disorder. Please visit acoupleofmultiples.com to see all of our current offerings! Our amazing sponsors for Season 3: The Institute for Creative Mindfulness, one of…
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We share about symposium recovery - and progress! The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to…
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We share some of what we learned at the McLean presentation at Harvard. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or disso…
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Jon Cleveland shares with us about psychedelic research and HPPD. Jon’s email: [email protected] The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is a…
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We read and respond to listener emails. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the natur…
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We talk with ISSTD clinician Valerie Sinason (UK) about "infantacidal attachment". The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE. The poem we referenced, which we wrote in 2020: In the last week, I watched my 5 year-old daughter's butterflies be born. They came home with us for quarantine, a gift of hope and peace while she herself is dying,…
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Drew & Garden System give an off script interview of each other and share personal stories of what it is like to be a parent when you have dissociative identity disorder. They each dive into topics such as how different selves show up as a parent, interact with the children, and how they navigate the challenges that having DID brings to the role of…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in …
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The “weeping camel” video is HERE. The referenced article is HERE. To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content …
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in …
  continue reading
 
We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in …
  continue reading
 
Drew and Garden System talk about how in the beginning a system feels separated from each other, even feeling like enemies. There often is difficulty in listening to selves, because it is hard to learn and believe what parts hold and about trauma that occurred. They talk about how they developed relationships within their systems, navigating selves…
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in …
  continue reading
 
We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE. Social Media referenced (shared with consent): Kit - @squidont on TikTok To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is …
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We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE. The referenced article is HERE. To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here i…
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We share an update from therapy, about learning how memory time and now time connect through re-enactments… and start looking at Memory Time where the pain is. Note: This therapy session happened three days after the last session where we did the four questions that helped me see how Memory Time invades Now Time. I thought I was going in to my ther…
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Drew & Garden System go more in depth about sex & intimacy and how it affects one's romantic relationship. They talk about sexual alters, the challenges littles bring, and how they have navigated personal experiences in the moment. They wrap up discussing shame and how they came into acceptance of their sexuality. Obvious trigger warnings apply. In…
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We explain attachment wounds. The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma …
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We share how our therapist walked us through the “hidden agenda” of re-enactment that shows up as attachment drama in relationships. Four Reflections: 1. Three positive relationship characteristics from relationships in my childhood 2. Three negative relationship characteristics from relationships in my childhood 3. Three things I needed most in ch…
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We explain attachment strategies. Citation for the percentages came from a study of 10,500 mothers: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/14616730902814762 Updated Diversity Aspects: https://jiaap.in/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/9-Seema.pdf https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/21/6/655 https://www.proquest.com/openview/c3ad3752217e211f6a04670d7304ced…
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Drew & Garden System have a friendly conversation with Jaime Pollack, founder of An Infinite Mind and the Healing Together conference for those with dissociative disorders, their supporters, and mental health clinicians. They talk about the power of community and how finding others with DID have positively impacted their healing journey. Jaime shar…
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We recap an ISSTD webinar with Jules. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: [email protected] Content Note: Content on this web…
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Drew & Garden System have an honest talk about sex and intimacy and how it affects one's romantic relationship. They talk about how their different selves show up in the relationship, the challenges of engaging in sex, and strategies to manage the triggers that inevitably come up. This episode definitely contains TMI and colorful language and the t…
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We explore how attachment wounds impact relationships. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related d…
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We get ourselves through a hard weekend. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the natu…
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In this incredible interview episode, Drew & Garden System dive into the therapeutic relationship with Kelly Caniglia, a Somatically focused Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in North Carolina, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in FL, a Clinical supervisor in both states as well as Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. Kelly specializes …
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Jamie+ has a new book, You Lied to Me About God, that they want to talk about: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/760810/you-lied-to-me-about-god-by-jamie-marich-phd/ The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast…
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We share an update about the new school year, and acknowledge some wins and the feeling like a fresh start with a new year. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and …
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Drew & Garden System have a candid conversation about relationships when one partner has dissociative identity disorder. Gianu System & Jonathan help provide hope through their personal stories as they share how they overcame challenges navigating their successful long-term relationship. Jenna (@gianusystem) and Jonathan (@splendid_supporter) were …
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We share a therapy update after the family visits. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due t…
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You need to know about it. 99 cents. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature o…
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We wrestle with acceptance of circumstances in our lives, only to find out it requires accepting ourself/ves. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcast…
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We share something we wrote about learning to notice Littles. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining groups. Message us if we can help! You can contact the podcast HERE. Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative re…
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We do not discuss parties or sides or anything explicit about election results. We share our experience of talking to the children this morning, and our efforts at responding to them and ourselves, while validating trauma histories. The website is HERE. You can join the Community HERE. Remember that you will not be able to see much until joining gr…
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True to this season's theme, Drew & Garden System have an intimate conversation with another couple of multiples, LS & Melanie Scarboro, about relationships and dissociative identity disorder. Both LS and Melanie live with DID and they share personal stories of how they navigate the daily challenges that having DID brings to maintaining an intimate…
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