Bästa Child Dies podcaster (2024)

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Lightening the Load of Grief 28:51

5d ago28:51

28:51

What are some things we can do to lighten the load of grief after a death by overdose? We talk about some of the experiences that have helped us shift our response to our children's deaths. Getting unstuck is an adjustment. We become accustomed to despair, and when that shifts, or we move out of it a little bit, we need to readjust to a new way of …

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A Thanksgiving Review 27:28

12d ago27:28

27:28

DeAnne and Astrid discuss how their Thanksgivings went. A theme that came up - how do you know when it's time to make a change? We get so ingrained in our habits that sometimes it doesn't occur to us that we can stop doing the things we've always done. Because we want to! In the discussion of revisiting old patterns and ways of doing things, we als…

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Friends 26:40

19d ago26:40

26:40

When you experience a devastating loss, friendships can change. Sometimes for the worse, and sometimes for the better. In this episode, Astrid brings her friend Stacey on to talk about how their friendship has changed since the death of her son.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Searching for That Connection 28:49

25d ago28:49

28:49

One of the things I miss most is my sense of connection to my son. I lost it when he died, and now I'm always looking for ways to reconnect. Do you, too? In this episode, Astrid and Kevin discuss different means of connecting to their son - the things they've tried, what they're open to, and what has worked for them and, sometimes, not worked. What…

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My Ayahuasca Experience as the Parent of a Child Who Died of a Drug Overdose 18:44

1M ago18:44

18:44

The title says it all.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Giving In 29:31

1M ago29:31

29:31

In this episode, we discuss the benefits of "giving in." Giving in to how we feel. Giving in to the moment. Letting go of the need to get things done. Sometimes, after trauma, we go through a process of redefining what's important in our lives. Our goals are reduced. What it means to accomplish something has a different definition. We have found th…

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The Power of Writing It Down 29:05

2M ago29:05

29:05

Neither of us is a journaler, although DeAnne recently bought a journal with good intentions. What we can attest to, though, is the power of spontaneous writing exercises to help us understand and see ourselves in different ways. DeAnne discusses her first experience with a writing prompt, a tool many counselors use to help the ones they work with …

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Why Aren't We Divorced? 27:36

2M ago27:36

27:36

Kevin and Astrid continue their conversation while DeAnne is away. Kevin talks about the different ways he deals with grief, which doesn't currently include therapy. Why is that and what does he do in its place? We talk about our current relationship and why we chose to not separate or get a divorce.…

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A Husband. A Father. Introducing Kevin, Garrett's Dad. 22:16

2M ago22:16

22:16

DeAnne is out of town, so Astrid invites her husband Kevin, Garrett's dad, to sit in. What are some of the differences in how two parents can grieve the same child? Do we see the same events differently? Kevin gives his take on the subject of an overdose death.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Does Your Mother Know Where You Are? 26:12

2M ago26:12

26:12

DeAnne and Astrid discuss an interview Astrid watched with a mother whose son committed suicide. It prompted them to touch on whether their own children's deaths were accidental, or not. How do you know if an overdose death was accidental? Does it matter? Does it change the loss? We discuss how we react now when we see signs of hardship. How we rel…

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Let's Talk Gabor Maté 23:41

2M ago23:41

23:41

Gabor Maté is a Canadian physician and addiction expert. (In our conversation I called him a psychologist - sorry.) In this episode we discuss his book, The Myth of Normal, and what we took away from it. One of DeAnne's biggest impressions from the book was the idea that the body often expresses unaddressed trauma in the form of disease. Astrid's b…

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The List 30:03

3M ago30:03

30:03

Here we visit The List - topics that have come up for us in our grief journeys that we feel would be worth discussion. What's on the list? What are the things we have faced or continue to face in the process of coming to terms with a death by overdose? We take a look.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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An Accidental Conversation About Animals - the Pets We Love 25:14

3M ago25:14

25:14

In this conversation, we start out discussing the rituals and habits we form to get us through the day. and what happens when these get disrupted. It's interesting to think about how we rebuild ourselves and our days after the deaths of our children. One of those rituals for us has been walking dogs, which segues into a conversation about having pe…

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Why Not You? 30:46

3M ago30:46

30:46

In this episode, we start out by talking about triggers - the things that bring up old feelings of helplessness and anxiety. Neither of us ever really felt that our children would die. But they did. And that brings up the old saying - Why Not You? Why shouldn't it have happened to us? It can happen to anyone, so why not us? We then segue into an ac…

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Signs 25:33

3M ago25:33

25:33

How many of us have wished for a sign from our loved one? Did you get one? A lot? None? In this episode we discuss some of our experiences with signs.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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There's the Shock, and Then There's the Realization That They Are Not Coming Back 28:00

4M ago28:00

28:00

In today's episode, we welcome our friend Beth, who also lost a child to a drug overdose. We talk about coming out of the shock of experiencing the death of a child, into the realization that they are not coming back. We can be so hard on ourselves. Can we practice self-compassion and self-love?Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Reopening to Life 28:28

4M ago28:28

28:28

When your child dies from an overdose, many of us harden to life. We become frozen, paralyzed, and turn to stone. In this episode, we discuss practicing going from hard to soft. Frozen to unfrozen. We also talk about where we find support in this journey and what that support might look like.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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What Are We Doing? Are We Supposed To Be Doing Something? 27:08

4M ago27:08

27:08

In this episode, we discuss how the ways in which we care for ourselves have changed. This discussion leads into a conversation about finding meaning. Is it out there to find?Av DeAnne & Astrid

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What Does it Mean to Heal? 28:21

4M ago28:21

28:21

In this episode we discuss what it means to heal. Is there a definition for it? Is it possible to heal from grief? Or is grief a chronic condition - something to be endured but never truly healed? Interwoven into the conversation is the question of how to hold love and loss at the same time.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Holidays and All the Stuff That Goes With It 36:18

5M ago36:18

36:18

Holidays. When your child dies, what do you do about holidays? Do patterns change or stay the same? Cling to the old ways, or make new ones? We've pretty much decided that you can do whatever the hell you want to do. And you can make a change anytime you want to. And somehow, that led to a discussion about what we did with their things. Keep them? …

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All the Memories 25:23

5M ago25:23

25:23

What do we do with our memories of our children? The photos? When your child dies of an overdose, memories can get very loaded. Even the good ones can be painful. Are all of our memories ruined? We discuss.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Is It Really Ok That I'm Not Ok? 26:12

5M ago26:12

26:12

In this episode we talk about our sometimes tendencies to make deaths of our children ok for others. Is it ok to NOT do that? People want a happy ending, and we can't offer that. We talk about Megan Divine's book, It's Ok That You're Not Ok.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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What's Important Now? 30:04

5M ago30:04

30:04

How have our boundaries changed after the deaths of our children? Do we relate to people differently? In this episode, we discuss ways in which our perspectives of what's important have changed. Friendships change, and the way we connect and communicate change. We talk about what's of value now.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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The Things We Reach For When It Happens 38:59

6M ago38:59

38:59

Both of our sons died from a drug overdose. In the immediate aftermath, besides asking ourselves how this could have happened, what do we do to try to understand it? Is it helpful to go through their personal things? Is it helpful to try to identify what they were feeling? Weirdly, are they ok? Do we try to know where they are now?…

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I've Got a Kid in a Bag: Otherwise Known as Unfinished Business 28:44

6M ago28:44

28:44

One of us has a kid in a bag. The other has hers in a box. We start a conversation about what we've done with the ashes of our children after they've died. Is there a right answer? How do we relate to what remains? Literally.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Cracking Open - A Follow Up on the Mind-Body Connection 30:29

6M ago30:29

30:29

Following up on the previous episode, The Mind-Body Connection, we explore the effects of "cracking open" and allowing ourselves to soften in our grief. What happens when we lower our protective barriers and explore what we find there? We look at other avenues of connection and think about what we're willing and able to do in this present moment. W…

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The Mind-Body Connection 31:34

6M ago31:34

31:34

Today we explore the mind-body connection and what that means for us. Neither of us had ever explored this before our children died. What is it? How does it work? How does it help? Can we use the mind-body connection to connect to our children in a way that's meaningful?Av DeAnne & Astrid

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We're In It Now 36:49

6M ago36:49

36:49

We spent the first six episodes lightly touching on the details of our children's deaths. In this episode we ask, why did we do that? What is the benefit of sharing the particulars? What does it mean to have to work through the details of that day? As it says in the title, we're in it now. We are diving in.…

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Sharing the News 20:28

7M ago20:28

20:28

How do you share the news of what happened to your child? What happens when you share a deep loss with others? Here's a first look. Our stories might change over time.Av DeAnne & Astrid

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Those Social Expectations 17:51

7M ago17:51

17:51

Weirdly, we sometimes find ourselves still trying to meet social expectations even after the worst has just happened. Why do we do this and what have we learned?Av DeAnne & Astrid