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A man’s search for his missing brother leads him to a mysterious cult. A mind-bending mystery/thriller from Cryptic Radio. Fiction
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Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty chaos, and wonder of our terrifying world. Niki, John, LB— and our producer Jordo— try to find meaning and clarity one or twelve subjects at a time: from the menu at Cheesecake Factory to a human man dressed up as Snoopy tucking you into bed. Get bonus content on Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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semua yang tertulis disini berdasarkan apa yang ada di kehidupan saya. bukan hanya kamu. tapi, bisa jadi untuk dia, atau yang lainnya, satu hal yang pasti, semua yang pernah hadir dalam kehidupan saya akan tertuang di podcast ini. sekian.
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Don't Close Your Eyes is Montana's longest-running and most-popular live radio theatre presentation! Each week during the summer, writer/directors Ryan Cassavaugh and Keith Suta take turns writing and presenting a brand-new one-hour play in a variety of genres from the golden age of radio! Since 2011, DCYE has produced weekly radio plays all summer long at Bozeman's Verge Theater! Each new play is written in just one week previous in order to recreate the vibrant energy and demands of live r ...
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With Niki out on assignment, Michael Higham joins John and LB for our most cum-tastic episode since *checks notes* the last time Michael was here. But fear not, the gang also talks about regular basketball, beach basketball, the origin of the term "skeet," warning signs to watch for when hanging out with Catholics, that really tall drink you can ge…
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Morgan pays Alex a visit and discovers they have something in common. Dylan shares a drink with the skipper of Lost Horizon, and Olivia announces a rendezvous with another ship and someone named "The Envoy"... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Devon Chandler, Whitney Holland, Gerald Hill, Elgin El…
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Will Halloween in the rearview and Election Day upon us, Niki, LB and John try to iron out the few remaining wrinkles in American politics by addressing such hot-button issues as elf feet, Turkish hair transplant surgery, World Series Champions "The Dodgers," the power of prayer, a legendary and dead Australian horse, asses, and even a brand-new ga…
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Voyage Media Presents: Elias the Caretaker
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Just in time for Halloween Voyage presents Elias The Caretaker, a new horror fiction podcast that's The Conjuring & Paranormal Activity for your ears. A failing podcaster inherits his estranged parents' mansion, and their strange, creepy caretaker. He quickly discovers the mansion is haunted... and there's something very wrong with Elias. Listen in…
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Niki, LB and John skillfully walk through a docket of challenging and pertinent issues facing today's Sleepy Americans, such as the form and function of a joke, firefighters who also have to fight lions, whether basketball has a home on this podcast, a quick sidebar, an approximation of the plot of 1982's The Thing, a fun theme restaurant Niki went…
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Morgan discovers someone is spying on her. Sedona makes a breakthrough with her new facilitator. Dylan begins to have doubts about Rob's motives and Olivia reveals what Ignota means when they talk about "traveling"... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Jamie-Lyn Markos, Devon Chandler, Rich Summers…
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With LB once again helping the stranded astronauts aboard the International Space Station, local hero merritt k steps in to help Niki and John navigate this week's most challenging conversation topics, including Niki's ruined floors, ants, the weird guy movies of the early 2000s, getting all of your "yellow juice" extracted, penis rejuvenation ther…
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John, Niki and LB ask some important questions about blood and the people who take it from us, before moving on to some more relatable, everyday topics such as the funny underwear that Borat wears, roller coaster safety ratings, being "famous contemporarily with a horse, when a dog ate a human heart on that one TV show, the potential dangers of hir…
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Rob is anxious to get a message to the FBI, Olivia presses Dylan to continue their sessions, and Morgan reaches out to an old frenemy in an attempt to contact Alex... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Jamie-Lyn Markos, Devon Chandler, Rich Summers, Chelsea Krause, Whitney Holland, Melissa Medina, …
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Niki, LB and John put down their PSLs long enough to recording a brand-new episode of your favorite podcast, discussing such seasonally appropriate topics as which 90s sitcoms are the most Jewish, tips for dealing with "truculent teens," John's dishwasher installation story, "childhood trauma objects," if hats need instructions, witnessing crimes w…
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Hey folks it's Jordan, the producer! Normally I sit in on these recordings so I can give y'all a synopsis in the eppy description here, but this time I didn't do that! Because of all the ants in my apartment! So we're gonna listen to this episode together, okay? It'll be a fun bonding experience for us. I hope you're excited about getting bonded!!!…
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The actress, Alex Romero, wakes from her coma, and the FBI presses Morgan for more information about Dylan, who has fled The Resort along with other members of Ignota... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Whitney Holland, Barron B. Bass, Elizabeth von Isser, Rich Summers, Chelsea Krause, Alex Eller…
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Damn girl, 100 episodes? Believe it. To celebrate, Niki, John and LB look to the future of our program by discussing a number of topics, including the potential affects of attending NYU on Baron Trump, LB's bad experience with loophole weed, if Mario from video games had a diaper, the age at which you "forget all your stuff," Niki's attempts at ema…
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John, LB and Niki prepare for their upcoming 100th episode by first questioning the validity of their 99th episode, then pivoting to a number of topics not entirely unfamiliar to the program, including prison tattoo technology, loose orbs for your desk, salty licorice, the food fads of yore, making viral videos "dog friendly," step-by-step instruct…
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Subjective Pleasantness Index
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LB returns from space and is appalled by what they discover: John and Niki, exactly the same as ever. Unfortunately for LB, the podcast's mystical properties immediately begin working to erode any perspective or normalcy that they acquired during their working hiatus. You will be pleased to know that topics of discussion for this episode include Al…
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Your Own Piss on Your Own Terms
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With LB still trapped in space, Niki and John are joined by #1 Drivey Superfan Michael Higham for a fun-filled romp through a variety of salient discussions, including a beer bong for piss, whether or not Caillou is "just bald," the racial demographics of Ireland, carrying a knife in Big 5 Sporting Goods, how they get the lotion in the tissues, gam…
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|| Season 2 Begins Sept 26th || Dylan tries to maintain his cover within Ignota while continuing to search for his brother. Meanwhile, Morgan befriends another member and discovers some startling truths about the cult's origin. Featuring the vocal talents of: Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Devon Chandler, Whitney Holland, Rich Summers, Chels…
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John went up to rescue LB from the International Space Station and got himself also stuck in the process, so this week Niki is joined by friend of the show Charles Harte to discuss a wide variety of topics, including (but not limited to) flat tummy water, bread with seeds in it, girl-related juice, Charles' "anti-Karen" mom, leaving reviews for thi…
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Hey folks! In case you missed it, new episodes now happen on Monday! Happy Monday! Also LB is trapped in space for a few weeks but that's not a permanent change, so don't worry. We've got a lot of fun guests to help out over the next couple weeks, including me, Jordan, the producer, who is on the show this week! I tend to make the show less funny w…
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John, LB and Niki press onward despite a number of seemingly insurmountable challenges, including the return of Scam Text Theater (feat. Reginald Thimbleberry), getting a colonoscopy, jerking off with L. Ron Hubbard, distractingly large famous penises, official communique from the State Department, and against all odds, somehow even more. Welcome t…
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Hi this is Jordan!! I wasn't around for the recording of this one and all LB said is "warnings for spoilers of Manhunter and idk what else," so you're on your own for this one folks! Hope it turns out okay! Thanks and sorry! Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your Eyes, a podcast about navigating the cruelty, chaos, and wonder of our terrifying wo…
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Niki, LB and John discuss the need for change in America's relationship with its own milquetoast national anthem, in addition to related topics, such as the price of Prozac, new innovations in scrotum technology, the Batman Returns iteration of Catwoman, being Johnest with each other, and predictably, somehow even more. Welcome to If You're Driving…
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How Old Is Walt Disney When He “Comes Out”
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John, Niki and LB go the extra mile this week by proving evolution, showcasing their incredible psychic powers, taking the time to look at and think about breasts while live on a podcast, exposing the Coors nuclear waste controversy, making the world-first announcement of a new Shrek film, and if you can believe it, somehow even more. Welcome to If…
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Remember, remember the 5th of Julember ... (In this episode LB, Niki and John [all best friends] discuss where "it" goes "after butthole," the Ben Shapiro that escaped containment, the rules of being a ghost, Reba, the legitimacy of antibiotic warnings, the Cisco Groove, and reluctantly, somehow even more.) Welcome to If You're Driving, Close Your …
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LB, Niki and John crest the final apex of Gimmick Month, playing a brand-new game of Niki's design, pushing friendships to the limit and making us rethink everything we know about the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics. Other topics of discussion include (but are not limited to) Christian for-profit universities, Hootie & the Blowfish, sex ramps, tinned …
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Shronker (Second Annual White Off)
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Gimmick Month continues with The Second Annual White Off, where we see which of our four contestants is the whitest. Once that's settled (the results will SHOCK YOU), Niki, LB and John also discuss serving cunt in the chicken line, whether curling "has balls," hanging out with Jenny Nicholson, whether you can "get one out of a dead guy," John's rec…
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Gimmick month continues with our first-annual Master Chief Beach Week, the replacement holiday full of sand, sun and fun! Or that's what the copy says anyway, in practice it's mostly talk about the various ways that white people ruin the beach without even enjoying it themselves, in addition to various diversions concerning bumper stickers, scented…
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John, Niki and LB are all in the same place! Wowie zowie! That means an in-person recording, which also means the audio is a little roomier than usual, but the vibes are still just like you like 'em! Topics of discussion for this week include (but are not limited to) the world of dreams, emotionally insensitive burlesque performers, Dan Ryckert's u…
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