The Twilight Saga took over the world—briefly. Whether you thought it was the bomb dot com or . . . well . . . not that, admit it: You had a Twilight phase. Join us as we reread, relive, overanalyze, roast and defend, and try to figure out what made Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Saga so powerful that we're still talking about it. We're publishing insiders who want to give you the behind the scenes scoop. Don’t let us go into this forest alone. Contact us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com Patreo ...
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Broken News: Midnight Sun Animated Series!
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Twilight family!! Twihards and Twinards, alike! We interrupt your extremely regular day to bring you long-broken Twilight news! We’re still on our break (sry, back soon), but you KNOW we had Thoughts and Feelings about that animated show announcement. And remember: as long as there be Twilight-related news and updates, there be . . . ~Twilight Phas…
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Ep. 155: Waltzing to Hollaback Girl (Final Episode!!)
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Fam!! We made it!! Here we are at the Epilogue of Twilight (for the second time) and the end of a saga! It's prom night once again, which means Bella's emotional and so are we. Don't worry, this isn't the last you'll hear from from us (obvs! can't get rid of us that easily). Stay tuned for more reviews, more roasts, and more nostalgia. Luv ya forev…
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Welcome to chapter 24: An Impasse aka the Official Roast of Melissa Schirmer. We discuss breaking news from 2016 about Jacksonville, Edward's wet blanket-ness, and how nobody cares about Charlie, we guess! Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the Coven! Follow us to catch our updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over at Pa…
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Ep. 153: Hark, It's Edward! (Carlisle Is Also There)
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In this episode we review Twilight chapter 23: the Angel! But of course, first we have to do a live pickle unboxing, we play guess the word count, and we also ask ourselves the big question: does Bella have a character arc? Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com.Join the Coven! Follow us to catch our updates or subscribe for bonus eps and st…
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Ep. 152: Being Uggo Is My Superpower
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The title we almost picked: Bella Would Die For You In this episode, we recount Bella's daring escape, and dare we say it...we owe Stephenie Meyer an apology. Because Alice's visions do kind of make sense in this chapter. Who knew!! We also talk about how sometimes, being ugly is a gift. <3 Not that you listeners would know, because you're all CUTI…
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Welcome back, listeners! In this episode, Bella gets a Very Important Phone Call from her mom…or is it? DUN DUN DUN! Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com.Join the Coven! Follow us to catch our updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over at Patreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast.Please rate, review, and subscribe, and follow us @Twilight…
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Welcome back, listeners! It's chapter 20, IMPATIENCE, and we are impatient for this chapter to end. You're in a hotel room, we get it! This episode also comes with a huge SHOCK REVEAL from Olivia (gasp!) Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the Coven! Follow us to catch our updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over at Patr…
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Ep. 149: The Logistical Problems of Being an Immortal Person
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We’re in the home stretch, fam!! (Baseball!!) Chapter 16 is a doozy: Charlie gets eviscerated for NO GOOD REASON, Bella earns that Oscar (and Charlie’s tears), and she and Edward kiss right in front of EVERYBODY. It’s getting juicy! Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catch our updates or subscribe for bonus …
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The plan is apparently "maybe these aggressive vampires just won't smell Bella"???? Good thing our girl has some smart ideas, not to mention narrative agency! Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catch our updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over at Patreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast. Please rate, re…
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Ep. 147: "I Just Got Jawkissed In Front of My Dad's Best Friend"
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We missed you, listeners!! What's that we smell? Cinnamon? Edward's weird vampire breath? Nay!! It's plot, at last! In this chapter we discuss Billy's very reasonable attempt to warn Charlie, Edward's sexboozlization of Bella, and an important piece of vampire lore that everyone definitely agrees is true: vampires love baseball. Write to us at twil…
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Ep. 146: Is It Ha Ha Ha or He He He?
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We're back again, fam! And this week we're discussing Chapter 16: Carlisle—inarguably the most boring chapter of the whole book. But by golly if we don't do our darndest to make it positively pleasant! Hold on tight, spider monkeys—we're one chapter away from PLOT. Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour…
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Ep. 145: "Dad, This Is My Lover"
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Hello listeners!! DISCLAIMER: Melissa's audio was ~*~phucked~*~ this entire ep but that's okay because in this ep we dive deep into the omegaverse (google with caution), Edward and Bella's soulmate-level relationship, and the Brady Bunch, OF COURSE. Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subs…
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Hello, nerds! You guessed it—we're back to talk about Twilight. MORE SPECIFICALLY, Chapter 14. Here's just a ~~smattering of what we discuss in this episode: lasagna and milk (pros/cons of) Edward as an unrepentant stalker (which makes it so chill) lots of touching (BANG BANG!) having a boy in your room (when you're both aware and NOT aware) genera…
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Ep. 143: Say It With Us: This Is the Skin of a Killer, Bella
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ALERT ALERT ALERT it's the meadow, folks!!!! Strap in. Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over atPatreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast. Please rate, review, and subscribe, and follow us@Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.co…
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Ep 142: Dying Isn't the Only Option
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You know it, we know it, Edward knows it--in this chapter, Bella suffers from some MAJOR black and white thinking! We also discuss the importance of allowing your characters to have agency--and even better, FOXES. Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers ove…
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Well, y'all...this week we showed up, made (two-thirds of) an episode...and never hit the little red button. A first! So instead, here is 8 minutes of us apologizing, laughing slightly maniacally, and explaining that we'll be back in mid-February with the episode we tried to make this week. Love ya! In the meantime, write to us at twilightphasepodc…
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Ep. 141: That Good, Good Yearning
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GUYS EDWARD SAYS THE TITLE. TWILIGHT. THE SAFEST TIME OF DAY FOR US. (Plus he like asks a zillion questions or whatever.) Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over atPatreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast. Please rate, review, and subscribe, and follow us@Twil…
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Welcome to chapter 10 of Twilight: INTERROGATIONS. And there's a LOT that we interrogate in this chapter--we continue our deep dive on Bella's deficiencies as a friend, discuss B + E's agreement to SAY that they're secretly dating, and go back and forth on who likes who more. (When obviously, WE love YOU most.) Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@g…
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What's up listeners!! Happy New Year!! In this episode, we revisit a TRULY ICONIC chapter. Get ready to be transported with us as we discuss that good good 2000s teen media, the transcendent high of riding in your crush's car, and THREE THINGS ABOUT WHICH BELLA IS ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE. Write to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! F…
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It's Port Angeles!!! Is it the best chapter ever put to paper?? We're dazzled, y'all. Write to us attwilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over atPatreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast. Please rate, review, and subscribe, and follow us@Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, …
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Come for Bella DECIDING, NO MATTER WHAT (*judgmental side-eye*) that she's in TOO DEEP (somehow, already). Stay for our impromptu birthday roast of Melissa (luv youuuuu). Write to us attwilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over atPatreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast. Please…
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Ep. 136: Romantically Devoured
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Pigeon > Turkey Gray eyes = love interest Jacob + Bella + 5 minutes = broken treaty Gossip = friendship And that's that on that. Write to us with more Twilight math attwilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven! Follow us to catchour updates or subscribe for bonus eps and stickers over atPatreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast. Please rate, review, and…
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It's time for BLOOD TYPING IN BIOLOGY which is probs the best chapter in this book (until we get to the next chapter and that other one, but then there's also Port Angeles...). Did you ever notice how hilariously bad Edward is at keeping this secret?? We're having a great time and you should def come along with us. Write in at twilightphasepodcast@…
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Ep. 134: He Looks Up Grinning Like a Devil
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Bella and Edward have electrifying, mysterious, buck wild chemistry as they talk about nothing. Incredible. Amazing. All the boys are obsessed with Bella...but we're obsessed with this book. Have questions about the publishing industry? We'll be answering some on a Patreon bonus episode, so head on over to subscribe and ask your questions. You can …
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Ep. 133: Activate Eyeball Handsomeness
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Bella almost gets hit by van, and life is beautiful. Rememberthe mystery and majesty and adrenaline rush of having a CRUSH? Two questions: Have we identified Stephenie’s greatest skill? And if you had a near-death experience in high school, would you have been a Bella or a Melissa? WRITE to us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.comto let us know! Join t…
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Ep. 132: The Dazzling Begins (Twilight Chapter 2)
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Hello listeners! In this episode we reread chapter two of Twilight! Bella, Edward, and Charlie both exhibit red flags, we ask ourselves hard questions (are we annoying?), and THE LOVE STORY BEGINS! Don’t look now listeners, Edward Cullen is staring at you…Join the coven! Bonus eps and stickers over at Patreon.com/TwilightPhasePodcast@Twilight_Phase…
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Ep. 131: It's Twilight Season Babyyyy
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WE MISSED YOU LISTENERS!!!! We’re back with the first episode of our Twilight reread. Let’s head into the forest together <3--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twilight-phase-podcast/support
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We're kicking back with YOUR listener emails and wrapping up season five (!!!) Why aren't the Cullens tryna lick dandelions? Whatever happened with Maya's game of Survivor? What're our fave YA love triangles? What music are the Cullens listening to? Plus some book recs and theories from your fellow listeners! Join the coven! Bonus eps and stickers …
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Ep. 129: The Sun Sets on Breaking Dawn: THE FINAL BREAKING DAWN EPISODE
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We can’t believe we made it!! The end of the saga has arrived. We agree the ending of this is actually pretty cute, and we get a lil sappy reflecting on what this journey has meant to us. Thanks for being here <3. We’ll be back next season with more Twilight! Write in at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com.Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodc…
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This is the climax of the book (the series??), if you can believe it (we can't). Bella's shield works perfectly therefore nothing happens, and Alice arrives triumphantly with a plot point whose monologue will solve the entire conflict. Yay! Somehow there’s only one chapter left in Breaking Dawn—come with us as we finish out this ~~~~~saga ~~~~~~~~t…
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Ep. 127: Stephenie’s Proof of Romantic Intent
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A lot doesn’t happen in this chapter of Breaking Dawn (this book is almost over??) but we do get the worst sentence in the whole series, probably. Tune in to hear what made us collectively gag! Write in at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twi…
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Welcome back listeners!! It's time to talk about how Aro is highkey a great villain, the vibes of the chapter are immaculate, and also how somehow SMeyer pulled off six and a half pages of walking. Now that's art!! Write in at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitt…
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Hey listeners!! In this episode we discuss Bella's flammability, her sexiness despite another head to toe khaki look, and the mysterious disappearance of Jacob. Do we...miss him? Nah!! Write in at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphas…
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A small child receives a PROMISE RING (!!!) and Alistair's departure stirs up DRAMA. Meanwhile Bella decides having a mom doesn't sound that important anyway. Write in at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com --- Su…
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Suddenly, a noir interlude. Enter, Bella the femme fatale. Like the memory of a fever dream, we’re transported across Seattle as Bella uses her newly acquired, dastardly charms to solve the mysterious mystery of the elusive J Jenks. Get your passports ready!! Write in at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepod…
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Ep 122: Twenty-Eight is a Crowd
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Remember those million other vampires from all over who show up in Breaking Dawn? Us neither, but we get to meet alllllll of them this week!! There's so many of them there's an index, and we're mad about it!!!! Write in to tell us which racism in this chapter makes YOU the angriest at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/tw…
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Get ready for a thorough and convenient description of various Volturi talents. Also, Melissa is thriving on a trip to Colorado and I know you wanna know about that too. What would Survivor: Twilight Edition look like?? Write in to tell us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twiligh…
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Ep. 120: The Problem with Glossaries
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Listeners, you keep us young. We love you so much. In this episode, we ask ourselves the important questions: how do you pronounce Eleazar? Is this the most dramatic Edward has ever been? (no.) And most importantly, how do you tell your family friends that you have a half vampire baby waiting to meet them??? Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightph…
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Hey listeners, quick question: if you received bad news, would your response be to stare, unblinking, into the eyes of your beloved? For about nine hours straight? JUST WONDERINGGGGG. The Cullens minus Alice and Jasper go for a light jog followed by a devastating revelation . . . and then they break out . . . THE GLOBE. Join the coven at Patreon.co…
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Hey, fam! On this week's episode, we continue to marvel at how the plot is finally coming together, with only 30% of the book left. Quick head's up-- Bella still isn't psychic, Alice's visions still don't make any sense, the Volturi are back like they never left, and we are still bamboozled by all of this. So it's ALMOST like the first 70% of Break…
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We’re back baybee!!! Maya has returned from Europe to find a special surprise!! And best of all: WE FINALLY GET SOME PLOT! Remember those Volturi?Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcastWrite in with thots at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com.Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com--- Support…
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Ep. 116: Too Far Into Babydom
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Listeners! Tell us, how many houses have YOU demolished through seggs? Is it more or less than the number of 23 year old grandpas you know? What about the number of arm wrestling competitions you could win against Emmett? This chapter is a weird, fun hodgepodge and we're grateful to have you here with us! (Btw Maya is actively gallivanting around E…
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Jacob continues to Jacob by making momentous decisions without consulting anyone else, obvs, and to our frustration it just keeps working out for him!!!! Bella almost jumps Edward's bones right there in front of god and everybody. (Maya is on her way to gallivant about Europe so we plan to be back in two weeks!!) Join the coven at Patreon.com/twili…
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Ep 114: Eggplant Emoji, Eggplant Emoji, Eggplant Emoji
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THE TITLE SAYS IT ALLJoin the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcastWrite in with thots at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com.Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/twilight-phase-podcast/support…
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Y’all, is there even a PLOT to this book currently?? Why are we still HERE. This chapter is just a smorgasbord of minute information that takes us nowhere. We’ll let you know when the conflict enters the room (it hasn’t yet). Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Write in with Twilight related New Years resolutions at twilightphasepodc…
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Ep. 112: Everything You Need to Know About Lizard Teeth
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Happy new year, listeners! In this episode we delve into some deep questions. Such as Jacob claims he needs to be with Renesmee. . . why doesn’t Jacob neeeeeed to be with Edward? Also why is Renesmee so creepy? Why didn't the movie just cast a baby? And most importantly, WHY HAS THE LIZARD THEORY NOT BEEN LOOKED INTO BEFORE THIS? Join the coven at …
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Ep. 111: My Loving Edward Superpower
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WE'RE BAAAACK! And we come bearing glad tidings: our girl Bella is perfectly perfect at being a vampire. Her first hunt is like Vampire Finals and she's ruining the curve. Also she thinks her vampire power is just loving Edward sooooooo much which is embarrassing but okay girl do you. We missed you guys! Thanks for going into the forest with us. <3…
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Bella can literally see everything, including how excited we are to finally be done with Jacob's chapters. Our girl's a vampire now!!! Write in and let us know: What do you want to see with your vampire eyes? And what is the weirdest thing you think Emmett did as a newborn? While you're there, join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Emai…
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Bella describes her pain for approximately twenty pages and it's STILL better than all of Jacob's chapters!! Our beloved heroine is back and she's about to be reborn, baby! *cue that dramatic shot from the movies where Bella's eyes pop open and they're blood red* You can still go to our Patreon (even if you're not a patron!) to submit your best Ren…
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Ep. 108: From the Ramparts We Watched
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THIS IS IT. THE BIRTH. . . . . . Go to our Patreon (even if you're not a patron!) to submit your best RenesName! Email us at twilightphasepodcast@gmail.com. Join the coven at Patreon.com/twilightphasepodcast Check us out at @Twilight_Phase on Twitter and Instagram, Twilightphasepodcast.tumblr.com --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify…
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