Split Happens is a movie podcast hosted by sisters, Katrina Porter and Anna Serene. Each episode we fully synopsize and discuss a movie both of us love and one of us gets to defend the movie, while the other has to attack it.
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Pete's Dragon (1977): Back When They'd Write Songs About Tearing Kids and Dragons Apart and No One Seemed to Mind
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1:21:23
Send us a Text Message. Is that a dragon in your pocket or..........hey, knock it off! This is a podcast that is only MARGINALLY inappropriate when covering children's movies, and boy do we have a doozy for you! Do you like dragons, and songs, and orphans, but not overly fond of dragons from outer space, or just don't trust Sheb Wooley in general? …
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Face/Off: Let's Not Let Actual "Science" Get in the Way of a Perfectly Bonkers Plot
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Send us a Text Message. Hey!! Who wants to be able to perform complex facial reconstruction surgeries without going to medical school??!! To quote the hot European lady from Super Troopers, "I do, I do!!!". Better yet, what if we said we have an episode about a movie that is so cuckoo bananas it needed not ONE, but TWO action stars? Enter dancing q…
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Send us a Text Message. If something is happy the first time, isn't it happier the 2nd time? Us twice married people think so (Katrina, that is), so we thought, "Hey us, why don't we try re-recording an episode that people seem to love, and put that theory to the test?"! Except this time Katrina is the pro, and Anna is the con! Genius! Get ready fo…
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Robin Hood: Sexy Animated Fox Version
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Send us a Text Message. Anna and Katrina decided that there are just not enough podcasts about a benevolent animated fox and the grown human women (woman) who have developed feelings for said fox, and these women (Anna) need their (hers) voices heard! Please join us as we take a not creepy at all trip down memory lane as we discuss 1973's Disney cl…
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Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead: No but Seriously, Mom Actually Needs to Know About That
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1:24:56
Send us a Text Message. Have you wondered what a movie that has the hijinks of Home Alone but with fashion would like? Have you gone to the doctor and thought "Gee, this office is great, but I wonder what it would look like if the nurses had really impractical bright neon clothes!"? Wonder no longer, because this week the Split Happens sisters are …
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Yellow Submarine: All You Need is Love And Also Some LSD Wouldn't Hurt
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1:27:09
Send us a Text Message. The Hills are alive! With a new episode!!! We're baaaaaaaaaaaaack, and boy do we have a delightfully bananas movie we are covering! We've got animation, music, animated music, The Beatles (kind of), and flying fingers. The makers of this film didn't do every consumable drug known to man kind for you to miss this one, so buck…
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Shrek: It's a Real Layer of Love
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1:38:43
Send us a Text Message.Av Anna Serene Katrina Porter
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The Golden Child: I Prefer my Oatmeal Without Blood but You do You
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Send us a Text Message. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, want the episode! Pleaaaaaaaase! This week the Split Happens sisters flew all the way to Tibet to bring you an episode brimming with facts, a small child with mad magic skills, a dagger that turns out was not named after the singer Ashanti (missed opportunity, Paramount), and of course, Eddie Murphy. Rai…
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Demolition Man: But Could Someone PLEASE Explain How the Seashells Work?!
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1:23:57
Send us a Text Message. You ready to get down with a little "murder, death, kill" Snipes style? If you know how to take care of your daily business while using 3 seashells then you are prepared for this weeks episode from the Split Happens sisters. Enhance your calm and get ready for the 1993 action packed crime caper Demolition Man! KATRINA-is the…
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Best in Show: Welcome to the No-Holds-Barred, High Octane World of Competitive Dog Shows
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Send us a Text Message. Ruff, ruff, ruff. Bark. Bark, bark, bark. Grrrrrrrrr. Awwwwwwww. If you understand this, then you are one of many who love the canine classic, 2000's Best in Show! ANNA-is the pro this week, and she is positively BEGGING to catch Katrina say something positive about this perfect film, and is ready to put any negative takes i…
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Cobra: Synchronized Axe Clapping SFW
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Send us a Text Message. You're the audience, we are the tequila saturated chuckleheads. Don't be thrown off by the matchstick in the mouth instead of the hat turned backwards. Sly is all business, and business is gooooood. This week the Split Happens sisters bring you the classic, YES CLASSIC, action flick, 1986's Cobra. KATRINA-is the pro, and she…
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Amelie: Meddling in People's Lives is as Easy as Un, Deux, Trois!
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1:39:16
Send us a Text Message. Mon dieu! If gnomes, ghost rides, and well meaning meddlers are included on your list of things you love, we have the episode for you! This week the Split Happens sisters bring the joyous French film, Amelie!!!!! ANNA-is the pro this week, and she is happier than a little girl who's imaginary friends support her non-conformi…
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Mixed Nuts: A Partridge in a Pear Tree Sounds A Whole Lot Nicer Than a Serial Killer in a Scotch Pine
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Send us a Text Message. We hope you love nuts as much as we do, because this week the Split Happens sister bring you a holiday film so full of charming nuggets it will make a pack of squirrels say "screech screech screech screech screech screech!!!!!!" (they don't talk, silly). And if you are a person who loves to read reviews before you watch a ne…
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/A Charlie Brown Christmas: 2 Movies 1 Episode
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Send us a Text Message. 🎶🎶Have you..been dreaming..of an episode..with two movies in it?🎶🎶 Well do we have the episode for you! When two tequila tipsy sisters can't decide between two beloved animated Christmas classics what else can they do but do neither of them?! That can't be right. Damn tequila. They do both, that's it! And there's a twist! Th…
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The Muppet Christmas Carol: The DEFINITIVE Puppet-Based, Victorian Era Story of Christmas Spirit, Redemption, and Social Injustice
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Send us a Text Message. 🎶🎶🎶"Tis the season to be jolly and joyous.....fa la la! 🎶🎶🎶 If you heard those lyrics in the dulcet voice of Kermit the Frog, AKA Bob Cratchit, then you don't need 3 whack ass spirits to tell you that this week the Split Happens sisters kick off December with 1992's The Muppet Christmas Carol!!! ANNA-is the pro this week, an…
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Girls Just Wanna Have Fun: And by Fun, We Mean Functional Pockets
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1:29:53
Send us a Text Message. Are you dancing in heaven and never thought your feet would get you this far? Do you hear the words "Orbital be-bop" and have absolutely no confusion as to what that means? Well then you have definitely seen and love the movie the Split Happens sisters are singing out of tune to this week! The year is 1985, the clothes are a…
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The Commitments: Never Put All Your Trust in a Guy Called Joey "the Lips"
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Send us a Text Message. Say it once, say it loud, it's Anna's birthday episode week!! We couldn't celebrate Anna's birthday and not do her favorite movie, so prepare yourself for a movie that is sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but alwaystime (TM) full of amazing music. This week we bring you 1991's The Commitments ANNA-is obviously the pro this wee…
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The Fifth Element: Saving the World and Finding Love, Anything Can Happen in Space Hawaii
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1:11:27
Send us a Text Message. Are you tired of a world where there is just water, fire, earth, and air, and dream of a place where there is something, or maybe, someone more? And that someone more wears Jean Paul Gaultier and speaks in a made up language and makes out with Bruce Willis? We have so much in common. This week we make your dreams come true a…
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Bram Stroker's Dracula: Take Me Away From All These Bad Accents...
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1:24:47
Send us a Text Message. Have you crossed oceans of time to find Keanu Reeves doing an authentic British accent? Ut oh. How about longing for someone to take you away from all this death.....ly weirdness emanating from Sir Anthony Hopkins? Shit. Wait, are you the monster that breathing men would kill to see Gary Oldman in butt hair? Yes! We have the…
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They Live: But They Could Use Some Help With Skincare
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1:17:40
Send us a Text Message. Have you ever wished for a movie starring a professional wrestler fighting aliens, housing insecurity, his secret love for Ray Bans (TM), and mass commercialism, all whilst wearing dad jeans and playing a harmonica? Could a movie this incredible actually exist? You bet your booty that is probably covered in overpriced underw…
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The Frighteners: Who ya Gonna Call? NOT...THIS...GUY!
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1:33:43
Send us a Text Message. We see dead people. Not those dead people, other dead people. Dead people are dead people, sure, but these are dead people you can only see if you have gone through a terrible trauma. Or a mild trauma if you also have beautiful hair and a flawless complexion. Lookin at you, Trini Alvarado. This week we are obviously talking …
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Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf: Ooooh....Awkward.
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1:09:25
Send us a Text Message. If you have ever been curious about what a werewolf threesome is like, do we ever have the movie for you. We also have Werewolves wearing sunglasses, original song on repeat, denim, silver bullets, Transylvania......this movies keeps on giving until you are literally begging for it to end. This week we bring you Howling II: …
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John Wick: Hello, My Name is John Wick. You Killed my Dog. Prepare to Die.
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Send us a Text Message. This movie is a love story about a man and his dog. And a group of murdering morons who kill the man's dog, thus setting off a revenge-a-rama where no mercy shall be granted. This can only mean we are ending our month of Keanu movies with the classic love story, John Wick. KATRINA-is the pro, and she is ready to take on anyo…
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Point Break (1991): Bank Robbery Has Never Been Sooo Radical
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1:23:40
Send us a Text Message. Whoa, totally righteous! This week the sisters keep the ride going of Keanu-tober and hit the surf and hope to pound some sweet waves as they dissect the 1991 action film: Point Break! Those surf terms are correct, right? A movie that brought together Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Lori Petty, and the dynamic and unpredictabl…
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Matrix: I Don't Want to be a Goo Battery, but I Don't want to Pretend Jump Off a Building More
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Send us a Text Message. Anyone ready to get medicated?! Anna and Katrina chose the red pill so they could bring you the cyberpunk science fiction classic 1999's The Matrix! Get ready to have reality blown out your bum bum. KATRINA-is the pro this week, and she mostly ignores any technical trivia to reduce the chances of sounding like an idiot, as w…
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Speed: Bomb on Bus...It's Catchy, But it's no Baby on Board
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Send us a Text Message. Are you ready to start Keanu-tember?! Well, the sisters certainly are, and they're starting their Keanu Reeves-themed month with the 1994 action-filled thriller: Speed! Directed by Jan De Bont and starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper, and Jeff Daniels. KATRINA-is the PRO and she's raring to go! She's got an a…
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Better Off Dead: That Beth is Just so Popular
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1:17:59
Send us a Text Message. Are you someone who hears the amount $2.00 and are instantly taken back to a time in the 80's where an obsessed teen bordering on being a stalker, mixed with a foreign exchange student and a gaggle of psychotic paperboys equals instant hilarity? We have so much in common. Grab your Frawnch Fries, Frawnch Dressing, Frawnch Br…
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The Dark Crystal: I Don't Remember the Muppets Being This Nightmarish
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1:12:35
Send us a Text Message. Have you been waiting for a podcast with an episode about a movie telling a story about the mysterious Dark Crystal? Have you often wondered how it was damaged by one of the Urskeks, thus setting off an age of chaos? And did you then want to know how it lead to an evil race of grotesque birdlike lizards, the Skeksis, ruling …
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Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: Oo-De-Lally, Golly What a Bad Accent
1:07:26
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1:07:26
Send us a Text Message.Av Anna Serene Katrina Porter
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Monty Python and the Holy Grail: It's the Episode That Says...Ni!
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1:17:15
Send us a Text Message. Jolly Ho! This week the sisters are traveling back in time to The Middle Ages, where the mythical king of Britons leads a band of misfits on a quest for the Holy Grail. This movie has more one-liners than a comedy roast, so join us on our journey for this weeks episode, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. ANNA-is the pro, and i…
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The Last Starfighter: Saving the Galaxy by Getting the High Score, You're Totally Welcome
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1:17:52
Send us a Text Message. Time to ditch the Starlite Starbrite trailer park and start defeating the Ko-Dan forces to save the galaxy because this week the sisters are hopping in the StarCar and taking on 1984's The Last Starfighter! ANNA-is the PRO this episode and she's willing to bring forth a space armada and a bitching space scepter to take down …
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The Running Man: Every Murder Gets a Pun, and THAT'S the Arnold Promise™
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1:02:54
Send us a Text Message. In a dystopian America, a falsely convicted policeman gets his shot at freedom when he must forcibly participate in a TV game show where convicts, runners, must battle killers for their freedom. If you are asking yourself, "Are the Split Happens sisters doing a movie about Press your Luck?". You wish, tuna fish. This week's …
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Little Shop of Horrors: Who's a Plant Gotta Eat Around Here to Get a Song?
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1:29:32
Send us a Text Message. Are you ready for something both STRANGE and UNUSUAL??!! Well do we have the episode for you! Anna and Katrina take you on a magical journey where the songs are majestic, being down on your luck doesn't stop you from knowing your choreography, and homicidal plants from outer space talk. And sing. And play a little grab ass. …
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Tropic Thunder: We've Gone Full Episode!
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1:19:20
Send us a Text Message. It's a movie about the making of a war movie that ends up being a movie within a movie about the behind the scenes making of the most expensive Fake True War story ever made. We think. This can only mean that this week's episode is about the 2008 War, Comedy, Action, Love Story: Tropic Thunder!! KATRINA-is the pro, and in th…
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RE-RELEASE! Independence Day: Okay...But do the Aliens Know Morse Code?
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1:03:42
Send us a Text Message. *Hey everybody! Boy wasn't the 4th of July fun?! We're not sure because this insanely busy and crazy week has been a bit of a blur for the Split Happens sisters. So...this week instead of releasing a new episode we're re-releasing our most patriotic episode--Independence Day! Not to worry though, we'll be back killing it nex…
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Commando: Our Steamiest Episode Yet!
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Send us a Text Message. If you have ever wanted to watch a man carry a large tree through the forest for no particular reason, we have got the movie for you! Check out the 1985 action fantastical, one-liner ridden, Commando. KATRINA-is the pro and we're not sure if she wants to talk about this movie or the new Arnold docuseries more. In summary, sh…
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The Emperor's New Groove: That's Not a Lever You're Pulling
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Send us a Text Message. A llama??!! This weeks episode is celebrating the Oscar nominated Disney classic, The Emperor's New Groove. Emperor Kuzco wants his pool to get a little glow up which involves slightly destroying a local village, and lovable local villager Pacha wants to give a glow up to Kuzco's heart. Who will be the glow up victor? ANNA-i…
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Flight of the Navigator: Compliance!
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Send us a Text Message. It's our Father's Day Episode! What does a movie about a boy who gets abducted by aliens and then dropped back down on earth 8 years later with no recollection of being gone have to do with FD? Well, he had a father! Anna-is the pro this week, and not only does she have some out of this world trivia (see what we did there), …
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Major Payne: Time For Some Payne Management
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Send us a Text Message. All aboard the Payne Express! Toot Toot! This week is all about the 1995 comedy classic: Major Payne! Major Benson Winifred Payne is being discharged from the Marines. Payne is a killin' machine, but when he learns he has killed all of the bad guys the only job left is to whip a bunch of JROTC losers into shape. Listen to fi…
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Batman(1989): Okay, One Dance With the Devil and Then I Gotta Bounce
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Send us a Text Message. The Split Happens sisters venture into the beloved comic world of bats, clowns, murder, clown murders. And to top it off, a bitching soundtrack by Prince! Having witnessed his parents' brutal murder as a child, millionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne fights crime in Gotham City disguised as Batman, a costumed hero who strikes…
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Clue: But Here's What Really Happened...For Reals This Time
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1:12:32
Send us a Text Message. It's the real life board game turned mystery movie we all had no idea we needed and wanted. 7 guests given generic names, which in today's world we call depersonalization, thus making it easier for the killer to KILL AGAIN, are stuck in a house where they quickly learn they are all being blackmailed. When someone dies they m…
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The Beastmaster: The Tiger, the Witches, and the Skimpy Wardrobe
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1:14:18
Send us a Text Message. It's a tale as old as time itself...an evil no good zealot has a real thing for killing kids which leads to the king's unborn baby to be transported into the stomach of a cow where he's able to gain the power to psychically communicate with animals. Absolute classic. Obviously that means today's episode is all about the 1982…
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The Long Kiss Goodnight: The Gold Standard for Films About a Smoking Hot Amnesiac Spy
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Send us a Text Message. The truck might be a bomb, but this movie isn’t! This episode is all about the fantastically entertaining 1996 action movie: The Long Kiss Goodnight! Starring Geena Davis, Samuel L. Jackson, Craig Bierko, Brian Cox, and David Morse KATRINA- takes the PRO this week and though it's months after Christmas, she's hoping for a re…
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Contact: Ellie, Are You Okay? Are You Okay, Ellie?
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Send us a Text Message. Wanna take a ride?! Of course you do and so do the sisters, so this week they're celebrating the brilliant and beautiful 1997 love letter to Carl Sagan: Contact! Directed by Robert Zemeckis and starring Jodie Foster, Matthew McConaughey, Angela Bassett, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Jena Malone, William Fichtner, David Morse, and…
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Miss Congeniality: And Now For the ‘Everything’s on Fire’ Portion of the Evening
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Send us a Text Message. Sandra Bullock, Sir Michael Caine, Benjamin Bratt, Candice Bergen, William Shatner...what more could you want?! The answer is world peace, obviously. Time to go undercover on the pageant scene because this week is all about 2000's Miss Congeniality! KATRINA-leads the episode as the PRO and she's itching for some button-pushi…
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Slap Shot: Nothing Says 70's Hockey Like a Barrage of Gay Slurs
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Send us a Text Message. Is that a hockey stick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? Grab your pucks, your toy trains, your shitty beer, and your happy hat, and get ready for a great time! This week the Split Happens sisters are covering the best hockey movie of all time, and they don't want to hear any shit about any movie being any bet…
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A Chorus Line: So You Think You Can Dance, But First Tell Me About Your Shitty Life
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1:08:52
Send us a Text Message. Get ready to step, ball, change because this week is all about the 1985 film adaptation of A Chorus Line! Directed by Richard Attenborough, (seriously) this movie left a lot in the theatre industry upset, and a couple of sisters very, very happy. And 5, 6, 7, 8... ANNA gets to take the PRO on this episode. Coming off of a do…
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1
O Brother, Where Art Thou?: Damn, Katrina's in a Tight Spot!
1:01:01
1:01:01
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Gilla
Gillad
1:01:01
Send us a Text Message. Grab your hairnets and Dapper Dan pomade because this week is all about the Coen brothers' brilliant comedy, drama: O Brother, Where Art Thou? From the cinematography to the amazing soundtrack and impeccable acting, this movie is perfection and most certainly a favorite of the Split Happens sisters. ANNA-is absolutely bubbli…
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Hannibal(2001): Where Do We Even Start With This Garbage?
53:07
53:07
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Gillad
53:07
Send us a Text Message. Happy April Fool's Day, everybody! We hate our lives now. Our second movie to celebrate April 1st is the one KATRINA hates the most. Loathes entirely! It's the 2001, what-the-hell-were-they-thinking, sequel to an actually great movie, (Silence of the Lambs) Ridley Scott's Hannibal. ANNA is gonna try with all her might to get…
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Clash of the Titans: No, Not the Good One.
59:53
59:53
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Gillad
59:53
Send us a Text Message. Happy April Fool's Day, everybody! We're celebrating by releasing TWO episodes, and boy do the movies suck. Our first up is ANNA's most despised movie: the remake--Clash of the Titans (2010) and for April Fool's Day, we're switching things up. Anna will have to take the PRO on the movie she can't stand, but cannot say ANYTHI…
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