Managing love intelligently involves understanding your emotional, spiritual, and sexual needs, your boundaries, your deal-breakers, your fantasies, and everything else that allows you to optimize your success in letting the right one into your heart, life, and home. For advertising opportunities, email jason@stevening.com.
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As a sex offender counselor for over two decades, Steven Ing invites you to consider a whole new dimension of true sex crimes.
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Podcast by Steven Ing
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Why do we have such a difficult time managing our sexuality? We talk about managing our money, our careers, our diets, yet we don't talk about managing our sexuality. And we certainly don't talk about doing it intelligently. Join Steven Ing, MFT, and Jackie as they discuss all things sexual, and how learning to manage your sexuality can lead to a more fulfilling life.
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Comedy talk radio... on the internet!
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The Wrestling Cult is your one stop source for wrestling outside of the "big leagues". Steven Ayy from the Deathmatch Newsletter, BahuFMW, Mike Pedroncelli from the Deathmatch Cult and more cover current news and classic discussions of FMW, IWA, W*ing, BJW, Freedoms as well was CZW, GCW, IWA Midsouth, DTU, Zona 23 and so much more with shows like -The History of FMW -Deathmatch News Radio -Kawasaki Dreaming with Bahu -Bucky's Road Diaries -420 Metalhead Rasslin podcast -The Bubble -The Comba ...
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When it comes to providing high-quality entertainment through infectious crowd bumping sound and chilling tracks that evoke that euphoric “feel good” feeling, DJs Steven Lawrence & Stuart Celauro could not be more in tune with this ideology and have practically made it their mantra. Growing up in polar opposite cities, both found themselves surrounded and infected by music at a young age. In Chicago, IL, one of the most influential birth places of EDM, Steven developed his passion for music ...
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Zero Ambitions is a consultancy and weekly podcast about sustainability and the built environment. We find interesting and experienced guests who know what they're talking about, usually to discuss how we navigate the complexity of decarbonisation and sustainability in the built environment and its many related sectors. The success of the podcast has seen it grow into a consultancy, Zero Ambitions Partners. The consultancy works with blue chip clients, public sector institutions, and niche-m ...
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Episode 51: What's So Bad About Repression?
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Repression is a great tool for temporary management, like a tourniquet on a wound that’s bleeding, but repression as a lifestyle is a curse. For 35 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two books on sexuality: We're All Li…
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Don't Waste Buildings, which means retrofitting them and building them better. With Leanne Tritton (Ing Media), Will Hurst (Architect's Journal), and Richard Nelson (Abyss Global)
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Apologies for the delay, the lost podcast has been returned and is ready for release. 'Don't Waste Buildings' should be a straightforward proposition. It seems obvious. Especially so in the face of the climate crisis. Unfortunately, the business of the built environment is not yet on board completely. Our guests for this episode are the founders of…
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The three rules for "fair fighting" include no abuse, by mutual consent, and any one subject. Conflict is, after all, an essential and inevitable part of every intimate relationship. Listen to learn more! For 35 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychol…
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Performance guarantees, measuring what works, and EPC reform, with Steven Heath (Knauf Insulation)
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This week we're speaking with Steven Heath, technical director at Knauf Insulation (UK and Ireland) and a really interesting and experienced person in the sector. So while we had him, we ran through a bunch of our favourite hoary subjects: measuring performance, performance guarantees, and what we think about EPCs. Knauf is a firm that's done some …
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Episode 49: Letting Go of Neediness
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There is nothing wrong with being needy; we all have needs and will continue to have them for the rest of our lives. The problem occurs when our neediness becomes pathological and starts to control our lives. For 35 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psy…
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Sustainability, sufficiency, and sequestration – the language we use and what it means, with Lloyd Alter
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A long-overdue episode with friend of the show, Lloyd Alter, about a blog he wrote and his book "The Story of Upfront Carbon". We get into the language of sustainability, carbon, and lots of the words that are ubiquitous in this space (sustainability and the built environment, obviously). We get into the sustainability of travel, to some extent too…
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Episode 48: How Body Image Impacts Relationships
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A negative body image directed towards yourself and/or your partner can be detrimental to building and sustaining a safe, intimate, and loving relationship. For 35 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two books on sexuali…
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Episode 47: Love Is a Necessary But Insufficient Condition
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Loving someone is not all we need to build and maintain a successful relationship. We also need to slow down and take our time to really get to know the other person. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two b…
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Developers can build sustainably and at scale, if they want to. With Nicola Cronin and Stephen O'Shea (Cairn Homes Plc)
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A wise woman once said: "sustainability is the doing, ESG is the talking about it". Today an Irish house-building giant has made a major move on Passive House — publishing a positioning paper and announcing the ongoing construction of over 1,700 homes to the standard. Joining us to talk about this are Nicola Cronin (Senior Sustainability Analyst) a…
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Episode 46: The Way of the Superior Man - Book Analysis
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Today’s episode was inspired by the book The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire. The book was written by David Deida and published in 1997. We read through various passages of the book and discuss how they relate to managing love intelligently. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT,…
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How can we embed sustainable design into the construction process? With Mhairi Grant (Paper Igloo)
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Jeff invited Mhairi Grant, co founder of award-winning architectural practice Paper Igloo, to join us to talk about the challenges of ensuring that one's ideas for sustainable design actually make their way through to the construction phase. The subject was sparked by a conversation she and Jeff had about lessons learned from a flawed project (that…
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Episode 45: Does Your Partner Have a Personality Disorder?
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Understanding personality disorders (paranoid, narcissistic, antisocial, etc.) can give you valuable insights into yourself and your partner and help you manage love intelligently. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the a…
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Episode 44: Dating Advice for Men
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Practical dating advice for men, which women, too, can benefit from hearing. You don’t need to read hundreds of books or watch hours of videos on this topic. It’s all quite simple. Tune in to learn more. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psy…
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Why is making UK homes more efficient so difficult? Leyla Boulton (Green Conservation; Financial Times)
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Why is making UK homes more efficient so difficult? So asked journalist Leyla Boulton earlier this year in the pages of the Financial Times. Seeing a retrofit article in the FT piqued our interest, even more so once we realised Leyla is a senior editor with an esteemed background in political and environmental reporting. She was reporting on Kyoto …
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Episode 43: Going "Boy Sober"
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In today's episode, we review the article “Going ‘Boy Sober’ Is About More Than Celibacy" in relation to managing love intelligently. The article was written by Anne Branigin and published in The Washington Post. The subhead reads, "Young people are reexamining their relationships with sex and dating amid a toxic online dating culture and an increa…
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Episode 42: Our Collective Discomfort with Sex
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Sex is all around us (internet, advertising, media); however, as a society, we don't really know how to talk about it. Tune in to today's episode to learn how becoming comfortable with this important topic can result in a healthier society. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic wor…
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What can we do about waste in construction? Diversion from landfill isn't enough and there's money to be made. With Chris Clarke (SCAPE)
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In the UK every day the construction industry produces enough waste to fill a football stadium. Rightly, former guest, Chris Clarke (SCAPE) has got a bee in his bonnet about construction waste and is making efforts to draw attention to the issue. He's not just concerned with the profligate use of resources and the impact on carbon emissions, it's t…
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Episode 41: Stuck in Relationship Inertia
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Today's episode was inspired by The New York Times Guest Essay by Hillary Kelly titled “Welcome to Stucktopia.” The essay opens by discussing some popular TV shows, such as Fallout, Severance, and Silo, and how these shows capture the way life feels right now, which is that we are stuck. We read through the essay and apply this idea of being "stuck…
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Episode 40: How Verbal Abuse Destroys Relationships
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It's a fundamental thinking error to think that verbal abuse in relationships is normal. We all deserve to be treated with respect, courtesy, and dignity. Listen to today's episode to learn more! For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology …
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Net zero neighbourhoods and financing change, with Cat Magill (Living Places)
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Something-like twelve months on from inception we thought we'd catch up with what's happening at Living Places, the multi-disciplinary, impact-focused consultancy co-founded by this week's guest Cat Magill. Where last year Rufus Grantham came on the podcast to tell us all about the organisation he was in the midst of founding, this year Cat joined …
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Episode 39: Boundaries Are Your Friend
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Learn how setting, defending, and acting on your boundaries empowers your life. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two books on sexuality: We're All Like This and Get Busy Living. He is the creator and host …
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Episode 38: How Withholding Stifles Intimacy
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When it comes to our fantasy about what marriage can be like, our fantasy is that we wouldn't have to keep things from our spouse at all. The question is “How can I make the relationship safe enough for my mate to be as honest as humanly possible.” For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in fore…
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Running a successful retrofit one-stop-shop isn't easy but it can be done, with Caroline Ashe Brady (KORE Retrofit)
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This week's guest is Caroline Ashe Brady of KORE Retrofit in Ireland, one of the objectively successful one-stop-shop retrofit providers to have emerged over the past few years. Caroline is a business leader who we’re a proper fan of, so apologies in advance for our ‘so Caroline please tell us, why are you so great’ style questioning. That said, yo…
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Understanding the Sacred Bubble allows you and your partner to form a sacred connection or bubble, where all of life's problems are outside of the bubble. This allows couples to resolve any conflicts in a safe, effective, and abuse-free manner, so they can get back to producing the only thing worth producing in a relationship: happiness. For over 3…
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Episode 36: Learning to Embrace Rejection
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We don't need a girlfriend or boyfriend; we need the RIGHT girlfriend or boyfriend. If someone rejects us, they are not the RIGHT girlfriend or boyfriend. None of us crave to be with someone who doesn't love us. Listen to learn more! For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He i…
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The challenging life of a retrofit coordinator: problems with process, products, and performance, with returning champion Lisa Pasquale
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Returning champion Lisa Ann Pasquale rejoins us on Zero Ambitions to talk about dogs and retrofit. Mainly retrofit though. Informed by Lisa's experiences as a retrofit coordinator, technical lead at RetrofitWorks, and Technical Manager at The Retrofit Academy she knows an awful lot about the challenges faced by retrofit practitioners. Windows, vent…
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Episode 35: Integrating Spirituality and Sexuality
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Some people have sexuality in one compartment of their brain and spirituality in another compartment. Therefore, the two compartments never talk to each other. Integrating spirituality and sexuality, gets these two compartments talking to each other. Listen to today's episode to learn more. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage an…
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What should we do to get more women into retrofit? Well, we should get behind 'Her Retrofit Space', with Ellora Coupe (Her Own Space and now Her Retrofit Space)
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Returning champion Ellora Coupe joins us to talk about the recent report that Her Own Space has published about the place of women in the retrofit sector, which is heartening, insightful, and damning in equal measure. A great piece of work that everyone interested in the sector should heed. Perhaps more importantly, she's with us to promote the inc…
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Episode 34: Gender Roles in Relationships
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Today's episode discusses gender roles in relationships. It was inspired by the NBC News article "Some dating coaches online are pushing women to seek more traditional gender roles" by Angela Yang. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psycholog…
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Building better performance: raising construction standards on site and in education, with Joseph Little (TUD)
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This week we're going by Joseph Little, Head of Construction & Building Performance in the School of Architecture, Building and Environment at TU Dublin. He joined us to talk about the journey he's been on leading the MSc in Building Performance over the last seven years, but we got into a lot more. Joseph has been deeply involved in the promotion …
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Steve responds to a message from a person calling themselves "Alone." Note: the message was in response to Steve's Psychology Today article "How to Keep an Incel from Becoming a Sex Offender." For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Tod…
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Retrofit as a movement for social change (there's more to it all than fabric and finance), with Dan Hill (Dark Matter Labs)
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This week we're thinking about retrofit differently with Dan Hill from Dark Matter Labs (DML). Or rather, we're talking about retrofit's potential to become a movement for social change. In reality, retrofit is about much more than fabric and economics, it's about people and how they live. With that in mind we should be thinking much more about eng…
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Episode 32: The Fallacy of "Love Conquers All"
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The belief that "love conquers all" is an unfortunate and harmful fallacy. We cannot love our partners into wellness; we cannot love our partners into sobriety; we cannot love our partners into no longer being emotionally, physically, or spiritually abusive. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a special…
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Place-based hybrid finance to rebuild Ukraine and catalyse better building standards everywhere, with Iva Merheim Eyre (SMARTER4EU)
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This week we're joined by Iva Merheim Eyre from SMARTER4EU to talk about her recently published report the Catalogue of Good Practices, a document that details a variety of place-based hybrid finance models that have been used to rebuild and renovate homes in locations as wide-ranging as the postwar Balkan states to London's own Westminster. This i…
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Episode 31: What's Your Magic Sex Number?
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Your magic sex number is the ideal number of sexual encounters you require on a weekly basis to feel your best. Listen to learn more and how knowing your magic sex number can help you manage love intelligently. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer…
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Peter Rickaby returns to ZAP: a lot of words about energy, retrofit, and natural building materials, all the way from South Africa
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Jeff and Dan are joined by Dr. Peter Rickaby again. We were due a catch up so we recorded the conversation because he's always interesting. Peter should need little introduction, so we'll just say he's our favourite retrofit expert (sorry everyone else) and our most frequent guest on the show. He's only returned to the pod, not to the UK. In princi…
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Episode 30: Can Men and Women Be Friends?
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Join us for an open discussion on whether men and women can be friends. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two books on sexuality: We're All Like This and Get Busy Living. He is the creator and host of the t…
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The UK has a weird relationship with heat pumps: under appreciated influencers, wild pricing, and bad vibes. With Andrew Sissons (Nesta)
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This week we're joined by Nesta's Deputy Mission Director, Andrew Sissons, to discuss his take on why the UK has such a weird relationship with heat pumps. It was inspired by an excellent Twitter thread on the subject that gained quite a bit of attention the other week. We talk through it all so you might as well listen, or just take a look at the …
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Episode 29: Why Authenticity Matters
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If you want real love, let your partner know who you really are and what you really think. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two books on sexuality: We're All Like This and Get Busy Living. He is the creato…
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Building with straw on a continental scale and experiencing retrofit as a resident. With Cypren Edmunds (European Straw Building Association)
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The other week we had a chance to have a conversation with Cypren Edmunds, President of the European Straw Building Association about building with straw, experiences in retrofit, and the meandering path that led him to the green building trade. For us, it was a really interesting chat because we got to talk about how he got into greed building via…
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Episode 28: Why Steve Dislikes Online Dating
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If you dislike online dating as much as Steve and are interested in shifting your approach to meeting potential partners, this episode is for you. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is a contributing writer to Psychology Today and the author of two books on sexuality: W…
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The energy performance of buildings matters, to me and EU and everyone we know, with Ciarán Cuffe (MEP)
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The Recast Energy Performance of Buildings Directive is now enshrined in EU law, which has big implications for the built environment everywhere. Even the South East of England. To mark the occasion and get the lowdown on what this all means, we invited friend of the show Ciarán Cuffe back on to talk about it. For those who might not remember, he's…
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Episode 27: Sexual Intimacy: If You Want to Have Better Sex, Listen Up
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The subject of "sexual intimacy" is so much bigger than just "doing it” with our partners. True sexual intimacy allows couples to safely share and express the full spectrum of their sexuality with one another. Listen to learn more. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Family Therapist with a specialty in forensic work. He is …
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A new way to measure performance, negative energy use, and learning from disaster zones, with Kate Crawford (KLH Sustainability)
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Kate Crawford is a building nerd who is obsessed with measuring performance. She's currently, Technical Director at KLH Sustainability, a multidisciplinary consultancy working in the built environment. Kate has a very interesting background in terms of her experience and she's now working on a very fascinating project in which she's researching and…
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Episode 26: 120 Days of Narcissistic Love
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The main idea behind "120 Days of Narcissistic Love" is that when you fall in love with a new lover, the things that you love about this person are the things you love about yourself. Tune in to learn more and how becoming aware of this phenomenon can help you manage love intelligently. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has been a Marriage and Fa…
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Designing for deconstruction using natural building materials. With Chloe Donovan (Natural Building Systems)
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This week we're talking about modular construction and Natural Building Systems with MD Chloe Donovan. Chloe is a really interesting character with a fascinating product that she's bringing to market. Unusually, she's a farmer who got into building and then found herself as an entrepreneur in the febrile world of modular building and MMC. We talk a…
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Episode 25: How to Resolve Conflicts That Are Keeping Us Apart
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Learning how to resolve the conflicts that are keeping us apart is one of the best ways to develop intimacy. Conflict, after all, is an essential and inevitable part of every intimate relationship. In today's episode, you will learn how to engage in conflict in an intelligent, healthy, and abuse-free manner. For over 30 years, Steven Ing, MFT, has …
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Monitoring will make your buildings be worth more money, Utopi has proved it, with Falk Bleyl (CTO at Utopi)
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Up next we're speaking with Falk Bleyl, CTO at Utopi, about their sensor-based data platform technology. He describes it as an ESG platform which is true but it massively underplays the true value of what their product offers. Heads up, normally, we'll at least try to couch the conversation within a broader context but in this episode, we've barely…
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Episode 24: Divorce Is the Solution to a Problem
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If we're committed to “Managing Love Intelligently,” we have to be open to the possibility that (1) we might make mistakes and (2) intelligent people learn from their mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes we can make is in the area of mate selection, the most disastrous of which is marrying the wrong person. Thankfully, there's a remedy for marital…
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“Use less stuff”: embodied carbon, value chains and the potential for change in the Declaration de Chaillot. With Lloyd Alter (Carbon Upfront), Kelly Alvarez Doran (Ha/f Climate Design), and Will Arnold ...
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Lloyd has been in Paris. He came back very enthused and excited by his experience there and wanted to communicate why to our listeners. “In the face of the climate emergency, a swift transition of the buildings sector is a direct requirement to achieve the goals set by the Paris Agreement”. Approximately, 1,400 people from 70 countries gathered in …
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