It's been a long run but the podcasting police finally caught up to us for our many crimes and are forcing us on hiatus. This may not be the end of the podcast formally, but we are putting this on the backburner for the near future as Joel moves into a new career and Naomi...does more surfing or something. All credit to Disney for use of part of th…

Joel and Naomi wrap up Intimate Matters by talking about same-sex relationships in the 19th and 20th century (including the Wild West!), Margaret Sanger and the contraceptive revolution, and the impact the Kinsey report had on both law and media before, during, and after its release. If it sounds like Joel was choking back his words for 90% of the …

Joel and Naomi get back together to continue discussing Intimate Matters. In this section we talk more about community regulation of vice, how "queer" behavior was punished but also strangely tolerated by early settlers, the "duty" of sex in relationhips, how 17th century Enlightenment ideas radically changed people's perspectives on individual hap…

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss a unassuming book no one has ever heard of. Yes, we continue to make smart choices that expand our audience and move us closer to careers of full-time podcasting. Go us! We discuss Intimate Matters, a 1988 book that does an incredible job breaking down the social, political, religious, and economic factors tha…

It's been 10 months since we last dropped intimate deals of our lives and lessons we've learned about the world so we felt entitled to share some stuff. Well, actually we had another episode planned but Naomi shared a completely whackadoodle travel story that derailed Joel and Naomi chat about NYC travel to see the Pickle Guys, Joel's new and amazi…

Naomi and Joel get together to discuss more kink specifics including some of the kink created by different cultural periods, the kinkiest presidents, and how kink is talked about in media. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doi…

Naomi and Joel get together to discuss the basics of kink, everything ranging from BDSM to findom to the principles surrounding consent. We also come up with some good movie ideas. The AI companies are crashing and burning and hopefully Hollywood will come crawling back to us eventually. Phoot credit to Anna Shevts on Pexels.com DTG despises genoci…

In part 3 we wrap-up our discussion of the Straight State by discussing how military regulations of homosexual behavior in the early 20th century helped shaped queer culture for decades to come. Find a copy of the book here. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local …

In part 2 of the Straight State we discuss the links between queerness and tramp lifestyles in the 1930's, how federal work programs like the FTP and the CCC helped shape public perception of queerness, and how backlash to and support of different forms of social assistance during this era was likely due to concerns about a lack of jobs making peop…

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss more queer history with this book, a guide to how US government policy in the 19th and 20th century helped shape and reinforce ideas about queerness across America. In this part we discuss Joel's half-remembered recollection of Foucault's History of Sexuality and author Margot Canaday's in-depth discussion of …

You may have seen some news making the rounds about a new study that claims to have objectively ranked all the US States according to how friendly they are for singles. We were skeptical of this claim and dug into the data – believe it or not, there are issues. Join us to discussing the importance of accurate variable weighing, checking the sources…

Joel and Naomi wrap up our discussion of this book by talking about the rise of dating apps, Joel's hot takes on Bridgerton, how queer culture was encouraged (and discouraged) by different groups, and the weird history/development of early internet-enabled sex toys. Joel also finds a way to squeeze in a rant about worker's rights. Go figure. DTG de…

In part 2 we continue to discuss Samantha Cole's amazing internet history. We dig into the emergence of images and some of the initial ethical issues involved in image sharing, how early virtual smut was shared prior to images, the sectioning-off of the early tech industry, major technological innovations pushed by the early adult industry, and how…

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss an amazing collection of essays exploring early internet history and how that shaped, reinforced, and sometimes changed the sexuality and love lives of the earliest users. We dig into the early "SEX" Operating Systems, talk about how early forums and chat rooms changed the lives of millions, dig into the earli…

Jojo and NaO finish up the second part of More, digging into the juicy tidbits of the author's polyamorous relationships. Joel provides a bunch of feedback about how uncomfortable this makes him and how this whole thing seems like a weird combination of cashgrab/fetish thing/recontextualization of events/confession. One big problem with the podcast…

Joel and Naomi touch base for a third year in a row to pull our hair out, gloat about podcast successes around the world, talk about future plans, and catch up with Giselle, Rj, and Tazmin. If your favorite scene in Wizard of OZ was the one where they see the man behind the curtain, this is the episode for you. All credit to Judy Collins for use of…

Joel and Naomi get together to discuss the general culture around polyamory and More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and have now started doing the same for Palestine support. Send proof to our e…

Joel and Naomi catchup on how we're using our "twenty twenty door" mantra then get into a discussion about the wacky new stuff in the world of dating. We discuss TruBluu, a dating app for progressives, Volar, a dating app where AIs go on dates for you, the philosopher Zizek's musings on sex toys, the ever-rising cost of dating apps, the rise of dat…

Naomi and Joel talk about the rising tide of body image issues and some stuff that may or may not make people feel better about themselves. Here's a gallery of what people of different body sizes look like. DTG despises genocide and continue to support people fighting all forms of it. We're still making monthly donations to local trans funds and ha…

In this one we discuss the medical drama series The Resident, the trauma-bonding science fiction film Upstream Color, the polyamory memoir "More," the lesbian romance drama manga How Do We Relationship, the gangster/rich person drama The Gentlemen, the immigrant relationship drama Past Lives, the Meryl Streep romcom It's Complicated, the Spiderman …

Wrapping up a book critique in only 2 sections? Wow, we're making great progress on our New Year's Resolutions. In pt 2 of Art of Seduction we get into the actual text and find some uncomfortable stuff, ranging from Robert Greene misrepresenting his sources to his examples not supporting his arguments to his examples ignoring commonly-accepted hist…

We're back on the media critique grindstone, kicking off the second quarter of the year with our takes on Robert Greene's Art of Seduction. It's bad, but it's also...weird...mixing together a pseudo-academic take on seduction through the ages with ramblings about how it can be applied to advertising and politics. It's also sold over a million copie…

Uh, not a great way to intro this one. We talk about genocide in Palestine, the atrocities being committed there, how major news media companies are complicit in war crimes based upon their skewed coverage, how Israeli actions will directly impact (and already are impacting) Americans fighting for abortion access/trans rights/everything else, and t…

Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the first part of this podcast series, we explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life. DTG despises genocide an…

Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the second part of this podcast series, we continue to explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life. DTG despise…

Sarah E. Hill created a groundbreaking book that takes us on a journey through the complex relationship between women's health and hormonal contraception. In the first part of this podcast series, we explore the relationship between female hormones, the brain and, how those hormones play such a vital role in every day life. Other books mentioned in…

For Episodes 150/151 we finally got around to discussing what is commonly considered the greatest romcom of all time, When Harry Met Sally. But, in a shocking twist, Joel and Naomi are doing it with their respective partners. This is the Naomi/Len version - check out Ep150 for the Joel/Lauren takes. DTG despises genocide and continue to support peo…

For Episodes 150/151 we finally got around to discussing what is commonly considered the greatest romcom of all time, When Harry Met Sally. But, in a shocking twist, Joel and Naomi are doing it with their respective partners. This is the Joel/Lauren version - check out Ep151 for the Naomi/Len takes. Joel and Lauren discuss all the reasons this film…

We wrap up our favorite sex book of the year (so far at least, Joel hasn't read Emily Nagoski's Come Together quite yet...) with Vanessa's last few pieces of advice. We dig into sex menus, sexual personality types, exploration, the "first pancake" rule, and the "F First" principle, all incredibly useful pieces of advice to keep your sex life going …

In part two of Sex Talks we discuss how to have good conversations with your partner, how to start bringing more explicit topics with them, how to improve your mental and physical connection, and how to destigmatize touch in your relationships. Find a non-AI-written copy of the book here. All credit to Simon and Schuster for use of their cover art.…

Our podcast about sex, dating, and relationships finally gets around to discussing a book specifically about sex. None of this conversation is really explicit and the skills we discuss here are applicable in everyday life, but if you don't want to hear us make references to sex acts, maybe skip this one. In part one we discuss how Joel was scammed …

This time we chose some questions that were less likely to lead to arguments and more likely to spur conversations about relationship conduct in weird situations. We chatter mindlessly about a few topics, ranging from working out with partners to demanding half your husband's company to breaking up with partners after cancer treatment to laughing a…

We finally finish Steve Harvey's second awful relationship book, having learned far too much about his past and horrible parenting style in the process. We wrap up with his thoughts on nagging (or as he calls it, the "N-word"), some mixed advice on money in relationships, and his baffling list of commandments for men to keep their wife happy that, …

Joel and Naomi sit down to discuss their thoughts on the new Sydney Sweeney/Glen Powell romcom, a fairly good version of the "rich pretty people fall in love in a pretty place" subgenre. Very few spoilers in this one outside of some stuff concerning the ending: we're more interested in talking about the leads, how this film is helping to destroy th…

Naomi and Joel meet to discuss how they improved in 2023 (and share a lot of good recipes in the process), develop a good relationship maxim to live by in 2024, and analyze the dating trends of 2023 and 2024. Joel and Naomi also make some predictions of their own for 2024, mostly negative stuff about politics and the future of AI-tech. Crispy Korea…

In part 2 (we're sorry, there's a lot to discuss and our thoughts can't fit within the neat hourly format of a weekly podcast) we discuss some of the other plotlines in Love, Actually, including the HR-horrifying story of the PM and Natalie, sex pervert Colin and the foxy Wisconsin babes, the horribly miscast Alan Rickman and his hot secretary, sad…

People kept telling us to watch this cult classic holiday romcom. Not sure if that was because they thought we'd enjoy it or because we might have opinions on it. And oh boy, do we have opinions on this. Lest you call us long-winded, we're actually discussing two films in this two-parter, Love, Actually and Red Nose Day, Actually, the pseudo-sequel…

Well Steve had a good week last time but he makes up for lost time by cranking the misogyny button back up to 10 in chapter 7-9. In this part we learn from Steve how women must always be well-dressed and sexy to attract Mr Right, how if men cheat it's probably because their wife wasn't dressed sexy enough, how men are insatiable lust machines who n…

Yes, we know we're getting dangerously close to making 15 parts out of this like WWDL but we promise this will be wrapped up soon. Steve has a lot to say though and he throws us a curveball this time by, and this is shocking, actually offering some good relationship advice. Not great advice, and Joel still has plenty of bones to pick mind you, but …

Naomi runs some thorny AITA questions past Joel, who recorded this both recovering from a surgery, coming down from a head cold, and hopped up on Benadryl. He's mostly coherent, but if you're wondering why he goes weird places with the material Naomi gave him...it was probably the narcotics. We talk about some fun stuff, ranging from girlfriends wh…

We return to Steve, who's still doing his best to redeem his legacy, convince readers he's not full of it, and prove he's a great father. Unfortunately, he opens chapters 2 and 3 by talking about how he never talked to his daughter one-on-one until she was 13, so it's an uphill battle. Nonetheless. Chapters 2 and 3 cover Steve's advice on dating me…

Thankfully for our podcast it turns out our long-running relationship-advice nemesis Brodrick published even more dating advice content after 2009. A pseudo-sequel to his "Act Like a Lady" book, Straight Talk is Steve's purported attempt to clarify some of his more controversial statements from that text and provide even more insight into the inner…

Look, we get it, we've spent so much freaking time on this and you just want us to move on and discuss more amusing anecdotes about AI dating apps telling people to kill the Queen of England (real thing that happened, check out our AI episode). But we think most people aren't going to spend 15 hours listening to our critiques so here's a abbreviate…

It's over. We did it. We finished the book. We're lying completely exhausted on the side of Mount Doom like we've just thrown the Ring of Power into a volcano (which we guess we kind of did). Join us as we discuss the convoluted and nonsensical finale to this book, a contradictory mess of random pseudo-philosophical musings that contradict nearly a…

Well, the tech bros have fizzled out on crypto and NFTs and finally stumbled onto a technology that actually impacts dating, generative AI. We get together to discuss what the technology is, how unethical its creation was (and continues to be), the emergence of easily-accessible deepfake technology, and all the cool new AI-apps that can improve you…

Chapter 7 is over. Done. Finished. Finito. It didn't go down without a fight though: Aaron felt the need to express some truly baffling non-sequitur opinions in his discussion of men freeing themselves from the yoke that is women, including the idea that Buddhism doesn't approve of any form of romantic desire, that if men stopped dating they could …

We're going to make it after all. We're through the worst of it and finally can see the end, chapter 7 and the rest of this horrid book will be done in no time. This time we hone in a bit on Aaron; Joel brings in an incredibly awkward anecdote from one of his other books (yes, Joel read another Aaron book...) that helps illustrate his perspective o…

Lauren comes back after nearly a year hiatus to discuss the best relationship and dating questions from r/AITA and r/AITAH. Unlike the mishmosh questions from prior episodes, this episode is all wedding-themed because she and Joel are planning a wedding and dreading what horrors await them as they approach their big day. Come listen to us discuss h…

Joel and Naomi get together, in the same room even, to discuss weird stuff surrounding porn. This ranges from the rise of social media accounts where couples shame each other for porn use to the rise in "porn addiction" discussions to the weird subcultures of the NoFap movement. We also get into the crazy privacy and ethical implications of monitor…

It was a long haul through the wilderness and we lost a lot of our party but we're finally through and nearing the promised land. We finished Chapter 6, finally, and can now enjoy the cool breeze of fresh chapters in weeks to come rather than remaining in the fetid stagnant air. We finally wrap up chapter 6 by discussing that despite his assertions…