#21 Rediscovering what normal sleep looks like with kids

The Matrescence Podcast

As a new mum, your baby's sleep habits can easily dominate conversations.
Is she sleeping through the night? How often does she wake over night? Does she self soothe? Does she sleep in the cot, my baby will only sleep on me. You will ask each other overe coffee.

We search the internet, books, social media and chat to other mum's in order to gage what is normal and to find answers to the problem of our child's sleep. Throughout the first year of our child's life we chase the elusive goal of sleeping through the night convinced that if we can just reach that point everything will be okay.

We wrongly assume that everyone else's baby is sleeping through the night and worry that we are doing something wrong.

We desperately try to follow safe sleeping guidelines, despite the fact that our babies have not got the memo that after 9 months of being inseparable from their mother, they are now expected to sleep alone in a cot.

Sleep is a pillar of wellbeing. It affects our physical and mental health, the way we parent, our relationship, our ability to perform our work (paid or unpaid) and so much more.

It is unsurprising then that we place so much emphasis on our baby sleeping well. Because if our baby is not sleeping well, chances are neither are we.

In our modern society however, it seems we have lost touch with what normal infant sleep looks like. Coupled with the fact that the demands of modern life are not conducive with wakeful babies, we often find ourself desperate for a solution.

In our desperation many of us turn to sleep programs or sleep school. I know because I have been there. We convince ourselves that patting their mattress or shushing is enough comfort. We ignore that deep yearning to go to and comfort our baby. To bring them into our bed for a cuddle.

We tell ourselves and others that is it working, and maybe it is until a sleep regression come along. Or teething. Or sickness. Or one of the many other disruptions that are so normal in this phase of life.

Then what?

Whether you choose to bed share, place your baby in their own room, co-sleep, sleep train or any other approach, sleep is going to play a big role in your parenthood experience.

In this episode we dive into what sleep looks like in our home. Spoiler alert, it is not even close to textbook.

We don't have all the answers, like you we are on the journey to figuring out how to get enough sleep in this phase of life, but we can promise you that this conversation will leave you feeling a little lighter, will take the shame out of unconventional sleep situations and will leave you feeling more informed and prepared to tackle sleep – regardless of what it looks like in your house.

Now, as always we want to put the disclaimer that we are not experts in infant sleep. Infact we are not experts in anything. But chances are neither are you.

Like you we are just mum's trying to make sense of the research, to keep our babies safe and to get as much sleep as possible.

Now if you enjoy this episode, we will find you an expert to really dive into this topic. Let us know on social media.