Episode 81: When the world is heavy, help your kid/teen focus on this!

The Be THAT Mom Movement Podcast: Protecting kids in a digital world

Sleep deprivation & stress overload are on the rise along with a spike in anxiety and depression among our youth (and us)! Use these tips to help mitigate that in your family!

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FREE DOWNLOAD: Tips for using Bark + Digital Resources

FREE DOWNLOAD: Digital Resources

For all my top tips & tools go to https://www.dollydenson.com/store

DIGITAL RESOURCE TOOLS:

BARK subscription CLICK HERE (Use code BETHATMOM for 20% off & 7 day free trial)

MSpy CLICK HERE (Use code BTMOM10 for a 10% discount on the 3 month package!)

Pinwheel phone CLICK HERE (use code BETHATMOMTEN for a discount!)

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Gryphon Router CLICK HERE

Circle Plus CLICK HERE (click link for $20 off)

Bark Home CLICK here!!

Stay connected with the Be THAT Mom Movement via our channel in the Telegram app: Subscribe HERE or search for @bethatmom on the app. Or on social media via instagram https://www.instagram.com/the_bethatmommovement

MOM WELLNESS TOOLS:

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MOM HUSTLE TOOLS:

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Full Transcription:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

So, regardless of where you are in the world, you likely are experiencing a heightened level of stress. And if you are, that means that your kiddos are too regardless of age. So today I just want to talk about some strategies and some thinking points for you, for yourself and for your kids and your family in general, to help you. Because I think that these are some things that we all need to be focusing on in the effort to control what we can in a very uncertain world and uncertain times right now. Okay. So stay tuned.

Speaker 2 (00:37):

Welcome to your source for tips, tools, and support to help you be that mom that is tuned in and proactive for yourself, your family, and for the wild ride of raising kids in this digital age, inspired by a mother's love with a relatable real life. Proud to be that mom flair. This is the bead that mom movement with your host, Dolly Denson,

Speaker 1 (01:02):

Hey friends, did you hear there is an app that will transform the safety of your kids, smartphone and technology use. It is my favorite way to sleep easy at night and have peace of mind because it is monitoring my kids' activity online without me being in their business. It is the bark app and yes, bark like a dog bark bark bark. It tells you when there's something that you need to be concerned about starting at a small fee each month, you can protect your whole family across all devices. Get connected with bark today. Use code, be that mom for 20% off your subscription for life and get a seven day free trial to check it out. So before we get rolling on anything today, I have to ask, did you check out the digital wellness summit that I mentioned in last week's episode, it went live over the weekend and oh my God, what an amazing response that we had, there are so many presenters in there that come from different backgrounds and have so much valuable information.

Speaker 1 (01:58):

So if you haven't grabbed access to that, it is still available for you. So check out the link in the show notes, and they do have an all access pass that has extra bonus things included. So please check that out. My presentation is one of several, and again, we come from all different backgrounds and the presenters just are amazing in what they bring to the table. And some of them have some really tragic backgrounds and tragic stories, but the common thing among all of us is that we've had some sort of experience or struggle in this world of kids in the digital things. So if you have kids, you need to check this out. So check it out in the show notes, click the link, and you should be able to grab your all access pass there. Okay. Okay. So onto our topic for today, I think it's a given the world is heavy regardless of where you live or what is, you know, your present state of things.

Speaker 1 (02:53):

I think we all can tell that the world is heavy. There's lots going on. There's a lot of information out there that's hard to, and this does not go unnoticed in our children. And so I just want to talk about a couple of things that I think can be very powerful for you to focus on very simple things that you can implement or encourage and things that you can start with now that I think can go a long, long way to help your kids to help you and your family in general. And these things that I'm referring to is looking at sleep for your kids and for you, and then looking at your stress and coming up with a plan for lowering those things. If you're new to my show, you probably haven't heard me say this, but I am a nurse practitioner by formal education in my day job.

Speaker 1 (03:43):

And I am also very passionate about like empowering ourselves to take care of our health and realizing that we have so much that's within our power. And as a part of that passion, I'm currently working on a level two certification as an integrative health practitioner. And I'm also working on a certification as a functional medicine health coach. So those are just two things that I'm focusing on. I'm also a wellness coach using fitness and nutrition tools that kind of simplify the whole thing. And that gives you a place in a plan to follow. So I do a lot of focus on this and have a great passion for that, and it intertwines with what we do with our kids. But I know my podcast is specifically focused on digital health and digital safety and kind of helping you navigate all the things. But I do think that our own health and what we do for ourselves is a trickle down effect to our kids.

Speaker 1 (04:38):

And you know what? We feed ourselves. They watch the habits that we have each day they watch and they follow us right? While I think that one thing that I neglect very easily, these two things are things that I neglect very easily. And so that's why I just thought they were relevant topics to talk about today. Because number one, sleep deprivation in kids is huge, huge, huge. I was researching this and I actually came across a survey. I don't even know. I didn't write down how many people, how many teens were in the survey. But the survey said that 97% of teens wished that they could get more sleep. And then 84% recall feeling sleepy during the day and 83% believed that they miss out on fun and relaxation to due to their homework load and extracurricular activities. 83% recall feeling tired at school. That's like redundant.

Speaker 1 (05:27):

That said that twice. Sorry about that. And then 73% had fallen asleep in class and 59% have been late to school because they overslept. So my question to you is, does your kiddo struggle with sleep? Do you, I mean, they're in a growing period, so they need more sleep and they're usually harder to wake up and all of that, but look at what your kiddo or your teen is doing in terms of when they go to bed and what their sleep routine is. For me personally, with my kids, once they got to the teen years, our routine around bedtime kind of went out the window. And of course, you know, if you listen to me for any length of time, you know, that I did all the things, kind of the, I went the wrong way with it all. I mean, I shouldn't even say the wrong way.

Speaker 1 (06:12):

It was just which kind of, we didn't know what we were doing. So we didn't really have rules set in. We kind of let them have some freedom. And I don't think that it means that you have to be real strict about this, or it'd be like, okay, it's nine, o'clock at your bedtime. But I think there's a couple things that you can implement here. That even if you have a teen, if you can, could encourage these things while also modeling them yourself, this can create a routine, a solid routine for health, for themselves as they get older. You know, like I think that if you think in terms of a teens health, even if they eat junk food, all of the time, they likely aren't gaining weight, they likely are, you know, feeling fine, but their energy level may be low and their developing habits going into adulthood that aren't going to serve them.

Speaker 1 (07:01):

So now's the time to kind of plant those seeds while they're still under our roof, right. While they're still somewhat impressionable, even though they won't let you know that they are right. So now's the time to kind of focus on sleep. But a couple of things that you can do just think about these things right now, as you're listening to them. Number one is, is there technology in their bedroom because they can't resist it. It's too tempting. So getting that out of the bedroom is one huge, huge thing in a way to be able to set a boundary, but also just to take that temptation out of their fingers out of their grasp. And then the other thing is that the blue light that is emitted from electronic devices, tricks the brain into thinking it's daytime. This causes the body to slow down melatonin production, which is needed for the body to feel sleepy.

Speaker 1 (07:49):

So if they're saying, you know, they're on their phone and they're saying, I'm not sleepy, mom, I'm not sleepy. It may be because they're on their phone. So the solution, if you don't want to take the device away or they need to be on the device because they're working on homework is the blue block blue. I don't know if it's blue blocker, blue block glasses, having them wear those or putting a blue blocker shield on their screen of their computer or on their phone. Those do exist. I bought one for my Mac computer. When I first got my Mac, my eyes were really bothered. And so I got one of those screens for it. And then also like dimmed the light and set the settings on the computer to where it would dim it at night. So it didn't have as much of that blue light.

Speaker 1 (08:31):

So those are a couple of easy things to look at in terms of helping them with their sleep. And then the other thing is just developing like sleep hygiene is what they call it, but basically just developing a routine around sleep where besides keeping the device out of the room, putting the device up at night or using blue blocker glasses, but also, you know, maybe putting it away sooner just to put it down and stimulate your brain in that way. Go back to reading a book before you go to bed. You know, like when we, when they're younger and we all read them a book, at least I did having another re more relaxing routine of something that reduces their stress, listening to some calm music, maybe diffusing some essential oils. You could also, they make a new, or there's a new thing that I learned about.

Speaker 1 (09:17):

I don't think it's new, but it's some different apps that have like brainwave frequencies on them that are supposed to be calming. They call it. One of the things I heard is, and I don't know how to pronounce it, but it's binaural beats B I N a U R a L beats. Those are supposed to stimulate the brain for sleep. So that would be another thing that you could consider, but just focusing on this, both for yourself and for your kid, be very helpful for them. So that leads us into stress reduction. And I think we all can benefit from stress reduction, but thinking in terms of your kiddos, just that routine around sleep will pay you back in multiple ways in that regard. But stress reduction is one of those things that it's important every single day for us to bring our stress down.

Speaker 1 (10:09):

I find, and I've had this trouble in the last couple of weeks when I've been really stressed about work. And all of the different things is that I come home and I stay stressed. And I think that we need to develop routines around bringing our stress down, not starting out our days with stress, like picking up the phone and immediately consuming the news. And what's the latest world event that's going on or the latest numbers for this or that. Not starting out our day like that. So having intention around what we do in the morning, around our morning routine to start out relaxed, to start out, focusing on the positive, to start out, moving our body. If you can, even if you're not doing formal workout at the time I work out every single morning. Now it's just a part of me to work out.

Speaker 1 (10:56):

But even if you're not doing a formal workout and just moving your body is a good way to wake yourself up and start out in a low stress state, but then coming home and bringing that stress level down. So I'm talking in terms of you, but I think that it's good for us to look in terms of our family and reducing the stress. So some of the things to think about for them in our worldly times is to not have the news on around them, to not always be talking about the news and to have discussions about what is stressing them right now, what is going on at school or in their peer group that is stressing them. I hear a lot of different things, different opinions, different viewpoints, and what we say trickles into our kids. And then they are like voices to each other and it can become a place of conflict among their friends.

Speaker 1 (11:48):

So I think it's important for us to have a discussion around what is stressing them out and then taking time away from all of that and having, you know, digitally disconnected time where you're doing something side-by-side or face-to-face, that is quality time for you. I know that each day of the week, it may not be feasible for you to always do something like that, but just taking a few minutes to check in with them and to see how their day went. And I think that we all do this right, for the most part, but it's easy for that to slip away. So another thing is for us to just model that behavior again and make sure we're bringing down our stress. And then when they see that we are taking our time out away from screens away from the news away from all of the things that they may follow suit with that.

Speaker 1 (12:37):

Okay. So those are the two things that I really wanted to talk about today in terms of something that's really powerful that you can do something that I've always struggled with and neglected. And over the last couple years is I have been on a journey for prioritizing my own health in order to be stronger for my kids. It really has had a trickle down effect to my kids and my family. And now all of us do work outs regularly. All of us focus on nutrition. We all have a smoothie that we drink every day that has superfoods and all this nutrition in it to help our bodies. So all of that started with me and what I did, and my kids were of an age old enough that they were resistant to making any changes. And so that was a huge, huge mom's guilt that I had for the longest time that I had that it was too late.

Speaker 1 (13:29):

And I hadn't made the changes that I should have made when they were younger, because they didn't know any different. And it has been quite the opposite. It's been an amazing thing to watch that they have, even though for the longest time, they wouldn't make changes. They have been watching and they are absorbing what they are seeing me do. They're seeing me being more energetic and all of that, but the one place, or the two places where I have continued to struggle has been with sleep and has been with stress reduction. So that is why I wanted to talk about those things today. And I think they're both very simple and powerful things that you can do. And I hope I made sense with everything I was saying, I didn't have like a set outline or a set number of tips to give you, but I just kind of wanted to talk about these topics as something that you can start with today.

Speaker 1 (14:19):

And that is often overlooked and was certainly overlooked for me as well. Okay. So I hope you found this super helpful before you go. I just wanted to tell you that I am offering a discount for another type of programs, similar to bark. I think I did a podcast episode on it a couple months ago, but it's called inspi. And it is a platform for you to be able to monitor what your kid is doing on all of the digital things. And it doesn't have the same platform as bark, but it is available in more places than bark. So it has a lot of customizable monitoring in it. So I'm going to put a link in the show notes for that, as well as a discount code for you. If you want to check it out as an alternative to bark, if you're just wanting to compare the two, or if you're in a place that does not have bark, because I believe bark is in the U S only.

Speaker 1 (15:13):

And I know quite a few of you that listen to my podcast on a regular basis are not in the United States, which still amazes me, but inspire is available in most of the world outside of, in the U S but also outside of the U S. So if you are needing a way to monitor your kiddos digital activity on their phones, on the computer, and all of the things inspire is a great option for that. So please check that out. And then another thing before you go is that I am almost done with my be that mom movement method course. So I hope that you will keep an eye out for that. I'm going to have it ready to go soon. I hope to have had it done by this week, but of course, a couple of things in life slowed me down, but that does not mean I am not almost done with it.

Speaker 1 (15:54):

I actually am almost done with it. I just need to make some few tweaks and hopefully in the next couple of weeks, I will have it out to you. So please stay tuned for that as well. Okay. Thank you so much for listening. I am so honored to be here and to be able to speak to you and to bring topics to you. If there's any topic that you have that I have not covered, or if you would like to be a guest on my show, please reach out to me. If you have some sort of success story with your kiddos and the digital things, if you have something that you've done that I have not mentioned that you think my listeners would find helpful, I want to hear from you. So connect with me. My email is [e-mail]. And if you're in a similar space as me, where you were trying to pay back your struggles to help other moms and would like to chat with me about how we can collaborate, I'd love to chat with you as well. Okay? So reach out to me, connect with me on social media or wherever you can connect with me and we'll chat next time. See ya.

Speaker 2 (16:56):

Thanks for tuning in being that mom isn't easy, but together we can be that mom's strong. Don't forget to leave a review, connect on social and join Dolly's free community till next time

Speaker 1 (17:10):

Either before you go, I want to just give you a heads up on something. When things have been hardest in my role as a mom, the thing that was so very helpful for me was having a routine to take care of myself each day. I know that this whole thing around raising kids in a digital world is so very overwhelming. But if you have a place where you are taking care of yourself every single day with a simple routine that works despite where you are or what your schedule is, you will be able to be more present for your family and handle all of the ups and downs of this most amazing role that we could ever play in this world. So connect with me and let's get you connected to fitness and nutrition tools made by experts that will help you simplify this and then connect you with my fit club community that will support you, guide you and give you momentum and motivation to show up every day, take care of yourself first, so that you could be better present for our digital native.