209: Getting Out Of My Head with Patrick J. Clarke

Thank You Heartbreak with Chelsea Leigh Trescott

Actor Patrick J. Clarke joins 16:30 minutes in to reflect on deleting social media to feel free and returning to it when posting seems like the only way to reach a romantic interest, the false attention, narratives, and expectations that arise from the song and dance of being engaged with online but neglected in person, how to date with an open heart during not only a pandemic but an epidemic of ghosting, and navigating the tiers of vulnerability—when we share, who with, how soon, and is there really such a thing as sharing too much of ourselves, when being embraced for who we really are is the whole point of love?

To connect with Patrick, visit his:
Insta: http://www.instagram.com/patrickjclarke
Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shop
Site: www.breakupward.com
Insta: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreak
Email: [e-mail]
Key Moments:
INTRO —
(1:20) “The three words that came to me right before I pushed record were: Keep. Me. Honest ... What has kept me away from this mic, away from sharing, away from putting this episode out there? Someone that prides herself on just exposing it all. Have I been hiding? I think I have been.”
(12:10) “It’s vulnerable to let it matter and it’s embarrassing to get it wrong ... It’s upsetting when we see ourselves in an unflattering light too but ... We say things because we need to release them. We bring something up because we want to explore. We want to exhale."
CONVERSATION —
(22:56) “I ended up going home to quarantine for five months and I was the happiest I ever was. I was finding joy every single day. I was excited to wake up in the mornings and I felt okay without theater, without constantly pushing myself to be vulnerable.”

(27:40) “I went through two months of deleting all of my social media. I felt so good. I felt so free ... And, recently, after going on a few dates with someone and now being ghosted, ... I’m back on social media because he’s active on Instagram and I’m constantly scrolling, clicking on my story to see who’s watching it, to make sure that he’s viewed what I’m posting. It’s the only way to get his attention right now.”
(36:57) “My life has not been full of compliments. I’ve been beaten down and bullied and I’ve been called the worst things. So, I feel like I’m used to that and a compliment is just very different and uncomfortable to me.”
(52:10) “When I’m with someone in bed, I feel like I feel more connected when I am pleasing a partner and I don’t necessarily have sex just for myself. It’s to share that intimacy and be vulnerable with another soul.”

(1:17:23) “Do I need to come up with a tier of what I can share?"
(1:30:21) “It’s been a week since I texted him — still no response — and it’s like do I want to reach out again in a better way and try and figure out what he’s dealing with and what he’s thinking or do I just stop texting and delete his number?”

TO BREAKUPWARD —
(1:40:00) “The first thing I pictured when you said 'Breakupward' was breaking through that glass ceiling in Willy Wonka. Moving upward and onward from a breakup or from a relationship. Finding the positives in things. And I’m a very optimistic person so I’m always trying to find the joy and find the positive in a messy situation. I think breakingupward is sprouting a new life, taking something from th