From Conflict to Community

Nonviolence Radio

In this episode of Nonviolence Radio, Gwen Olton, co-director of the MK Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence, talks to Stephanie and Michael about her effort to shift the way we understand and engage in conflict. Gwen encourages us to see conflict as normal. Given our varied backgrounds, needs and aims, we will inevitably find ourselves in conflict with others and we need not avoid this or dream of eradicating conflict entirely. Conflicts become problematic when they are entwined with fear, and this can happen when the authorities called upon to help lack the tools needed to de-escalate them:

...we’ve outsourced our support systems to authorities, and they’re not equipped. And there’s a lot of other reasons that we don’t want to use authorities for all our conflicts. Like it leads to this punishment cycle and many of us are not actually getting support with our conflicts when we go to authorities. We're getting just more entrance into a system that causes more harm.

Rather than fuel this broken system, Gwen suggests that we approach conflict with a sense of curiosity and confidence, remembering that each of us has the capacity to find resolution. And while resolution does not demand interference from a formal authority, it is greatly helped with support from others, more specifically, third parties who can “hold space for you in a way that helps you get creative and constructive about your conflict instead of jumping on an anger bandwagon.”