Bästa Pep Talks podcaster (2024)

1
Stepparenting PTSD? 1:08

7h ago1:08

1:08

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Becoming a stepparent gave me PTSD. And I do mean PTSD in the literal, clinical sense, as in diagnosed by an actual counselor. Living under the constant conflict between houses and never-ending uncertainty of where the next attack might be coming from turned my existing anxiety issues into a full-blown trauma respons…

1
Cytomegalovirus with Laija Beaulieu, Caroline Leroux, Lisa Robinson, Marcia Bruce & Dr. Eliana Castillo (PaCER Series: EP 4) 1:18:06

10d ago1:18:06

1:18:06

Send us a Text Message. In episode 4 of the PaCER series, we talk about the complexities of Congenital Cytomegalovirus (cCMV), a common virus that can affect 1 in 200 unborn children during pregnancy. Join us as we discuss a parent-led peer-to-peer Patient and Community Engagement Research (PaCER) study about the impact of cCMV on newborns, includi…

1
Ep 73: Some Thoughts on Drawing (Part 2) 55:31

17d ago55:31

55:31

We're back! This is the second part of our deep dive on drawing. I asked my artist-guests: Jennifer Coates, David Humphrey and Catherine Haggarty to bring along a fave drawing from art history to share and describe what "drew" them to it (please forgive the pun). It was so fun to see what they selected. See images of all of the works on IG @peptalk…

1
What’d we sign up for again? 1:25

1d ago1:25

1:25

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Knowing Dan had a kid and knowing what I was getting into are two totally different things, it turns out. It’s not that I made the decision to become a stepparent without thinking about it. I honestly thought I knew EXACTLY what I was signing up for, especially since I already had a kid myself. (Famous last words, ri…

1
This needs to be a partnership. 0:56

2d ago0:56

0:56

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) One person in a relationship sitting back and expecting the other do all the work is never okay. And that goes double in a stepfamily. I can't believe how many stories I've heard from stepparents who are accused of not doing 'enough' by their partners… and yet their partner, the actual parent, REFUSES TO PARENT. This…

1
Your partner’s past. 1:21

3d ago1:21

1:21

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) You can trust your partner completely and still feel jealous of the life they had with their ex. It's normal to feel bummed that you'll never share all those important "firsts" with your partner because they already shared them with someone else. It's normal to feel angry that you'll never enjoy an uncomplicated rela…

1
Crazy doesn’t need a reason. 1:25

4d ago1:25

1:25

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I used to blame myself when Dan's ex would go off the rails, like it was my fault I encouraged him to grow a backbone. Like maybe I never should've tried to create rules and structure for my stepkid. Maybe if I'd just kept my mouth shut, the conflict between houses wouldn't have escalated the way it did. Then I remin…

1
Be the change! 1:34

5d ago1:34

1:34

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) If you're a stepparent feeling frustrated, stuck, or unhappy, change for the better is absolutely possible. But it's probably not gonna come from the direction you think it is. We keep waiting for our stepkids or partners or the ex to change so our lives become easier. We get increasingly frustrated when no one seems…

1
Moving past the anger. 2:02

6d ago2:02

2:02

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Let's talk about your partner’s ex for a sec. Anyone else gotten wayyy too obsessed with the ex for their own good?? 🙋🏻‍♀️ That was definitely me. Man anger is a tough emotion to shake. Especially when the ex is causing so much drama that you feel like you never get a damn break from their presence overtaking your en…

1
Stepkid problem? Or partner problem? 1:42

7d ago1:42

1:42

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I found it tough to connect with my stepkid, especially in our early years. She came across as entitled. She spoke in a cutesy baby voice almost constantly. She had terrible manners, including frequently being rude to me. I’m embarrassed to admit how long I thought this was a problem with her. It literally took years…

1
Making stepparents into scapegoats. 0:58

8d ago0:58

0:58

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) As the newest members of our stepfamilies, stepparents are the outsiders, which means it's easier for us to see any dysfunction or unhealthy patterns that have been invisible to everyone else. That's why, when we bring up issues that concerns us, we're told there either isn't a problem, or it's just OUR problem. Like…

1
Stepparents are allowed to have boundaries. 1:00

9d ago1:00

1:00

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) "No" is a complete sentence. And it's a sentence stepparents are allowed to say. It really is okay if you don't want to drop everything to watch your stepkids when your partner decided to change the visitation schedule at the last minute and didn't check with you first. It's also okay if you choose not to attend yet …

1
When stepparenting feels tough. 1:21

10d ago1:21

1:21

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) A lot of folks act like stepparenting is easy. If it’s easy for them, that’s great. But stepparenting being hard for you doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. So many books and articles I read in my early stepmom days made it sound like there'd be this brief adjustment period and then we'd all be BFFs. So I thought, fe…

1
Parental alienation & wanting to give up. 2:15

11d ago2:15

2:15

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) At first I thought my stepkid just had terrible manners or a bad attitude. TBH, those might be true too. But after years of this with no improvement and actually seeing her behavior get suddenly worse, I finally realized my stepkid was being super shitty to me & Dan on purpose; she wanted to drive us away. And that i…

1
Stepkids vs. your relationship 1:06

12d ago1:06

1:06

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) One of the few things stepfamilies have in common with a traditional family is that your romantic relationship acts as the foundation. In a traditional family, we know exactly what would happen if we continually neglected our partner to tend to the kids. We know the kids can’t come first at the cost of our relationsh…

1
ARE you overstepping though?? 2:13

13d ago2:13

2:13

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) The vast majority of stepparents enter this role with a reasonable amount of respect for our partner’s ex as our stepkid's other parent. We don't want to overstep. We want to do right by our partners and our stepkids. So we take any suggestions that we're overstepping very seriously. The last thing we want is to make…

1
Don’t let “blending” become your whole life’s purpose. 1:29

14d ago1:29

1:29

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) As a former single mom, all I wanted was to give my kid a "real" family. Even if it killed me. The thing is, meeting Dan and then trying to force 4 strangers to feel like a family just about DID kill me. Because at no point along the way did I remember to put my oxygen mask on first. All that self-care advice I’m alw…

1
Ignore this stepparenting advice. 1:05

15d ago1:05

1:05

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I’ve been sharing all these little tips and reminders and pep talks and advice for many days in a row now, so I feel like maybe this is a good time for a disclaimer. Please remember that no stepparenting advice applies to every stepparent. If what you're doing works for you & your family, keep right on doing it! Feel…

1
Unrealistic expectations. 1:30

16d ago1:30

1:30

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I talk a lot about the need for us to have realistic expectations about stepparenting, and once in a while someone gets snarky with me about that statement. They’ll say things like they shouldn't have to lower their expectations for their stepkids. That they deserve to run their household the way they want. It’s real…

1
Blending is all about the tiny victories. 2:37

17d ago2:37

2:37

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Over on Instagram, I used to host Tiny Victory Tuesdays in my stories. New followers initially felt discouraged by this — they'd DM me saying they didn't have any wins to share. I'd remind them that all we're looking for is tiny victories and no win was too small to celebrate. Gradually, even the most stressed-out st…

1
Ep 72: Some Thoughts on Drawing (Part 1) 1:05:25

18d ago1:05:25

1:05:25

Join me and my guests: Jennifer Coates, David Humphrey and Catherine Haggarty as we discuss the topic of Drawing this week. This discussion was broken up into 2 parts, so keep an eye out for Part 2 coming soon. In Part 1, we discuss the drawing state of mind, drawing as a form of safety, as a tie to our primitive origins, and as a way to express th…

1
How to spot a narc co-parent. 1:51

18d ago1:51

1:51

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I’m not here to armchair diagnose anyone or water down the word ‘narcissist’ — which is an actual diagnosable mental disorder — but I do want stepparents and their partners to be aware when they’re involved in a dysfunctional co-parenting situation that goes way beyond the realm of standard post-divorce stuff. So her…

1
“Stepmom” is not a dirty word. 1:59

19d ago1:59

1:59

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I used to shy away from using the word “stepmom” like it was a dirty word. But “bonus mom” squicks me out even worse so… “stepmom” it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I got to wondering, why am I so uncomfortable with that word? Introducing my stepkid as my step kid shouldn’t seem like an insult — it's a fact. That is our legal relationshi…

1
Struggling to respect your partner. 1:46

20d ago1:46

1:46

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I used to kind of go off on Dan when I thought his kid was being kinda shitty to him & taking advantage of his generosity. And he’d just let her get away with it. UGH. Dan's sweetness & generosity of spirit are qualities I LOVE about him, so I get a little wild when anyone plays him for a sucker. (By “anyone” I mostl…

1
Ditch that stepparenting guilt! 1:16

21d ago1:16

1:16

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Stepparenting guilt can lead you one of two ways: down into a vicious shame spiral, where you end up silent, scared, and paralyzed. OR you can let that guilt propel you upwards, forgive yourself for your mistakes, and keep growing. Just like regular parents, stepparents mess up sometimes. Just like regular parents, s…

1
You need your partner’s help. 1:44

22d ago1:44

1:44

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) So many stepparents think the success or failure of their blended family lands entirely on them. But that’s not now any of this works. Both partners need to work together to blend a family. Stepparents are like guests at our partner’s cocktail party. We really need someone to invite us in, show us around, introduce u…

1
Take yourself out of the middle. 2:01

23d ago2:01

2:01

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I spent A LOT of years trying to protect Dan from his own crappy decisions. In doing so, I inadvertently buffered him from the very real consequences of his actions (or inactions). In fact, I protected and buffered him so well that he had zero incentive to change. 🤦🏻‍♀️. If I could go back in time, I'd save both of u…

1
Sometimes we need to lighten up. 1:37

24d ago1:37

1:37

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Okay. I know it’s super easy to take everything about becoming a stepparent and blending your family really seriously. And understandably so — there’s a lot of worrying involved in stepparenting. What if the kids never warm up to you? What if that initial awkwardness never goes away? What if you always feel like an o…

1
Don’t obsess over the ex. 1:31

25d ago1:31

1:31

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Yesterday I talked about how we don’t need anyone else’s approval to move forward as a stepfamily. This goes double or maybe triple or maybe exponentially times a million for not needing approval from your partner’s ex. I know on some level, wanting the ex to sign off on your presence in your partner & stepkid’s life…

1
Human Factors Engineering and Patient Oriented Research with Dr. Holly Witteman (EP 15) 31:08

26d ago31:08

31:08

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Trauma-Informed Engagement with Carolyn Shimmin (EP 21) 18:51

26d ago18:51

18:51

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Partnering in Research with Annette McKinnon (EP 13) 30:00

26d ago30:00

30:00

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Patient and Community Engagement Research, Cohort 1 with Jean Miller (EP 14) 25:51

26d ago25:51

25:51

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Authentic Patient Engagement with Heather Thiessen (EP 17) 20:06

26d ago20:06

20:06

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Patient and Family Centered Care with Dr. Gail MacKean (EP 22) 37:14

26d ago37:14

37:14

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
KidsPRO with Sumedh Bele (EP 7) 22:38

26d ago22:38

22:38

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Translating Research in Elder Care (TREC) with Dr. Andrea Gruneir (EP 20) 21:21

26d ago21:21

21:21

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Alberta's Patient & Family Advisors and PaCERs with Colin Penman (EP 23) 16:44

26d ago16:44

16:44

Send us a Text Message. In episode 23 of PEP Talks, Colin Penman talks about how people with lived experiences can engage with healthcare and health research. Penman is a graduate of the Patient and Community Engagement Research (PaCER) program at the University of Calgary. He shares his learning as a patient partner in research, as well as a patie…

1
Newfoundland and Labrador SPOR SUPPORT Unit with Mike Warren and Holly Etchegary (EP 24) 30:25

26d ago30:25

30:25

Send us a Text Message. In episode 24 of PEP Talks, we talk about the Newfoundland and Labrador SPOR SUPPORT Unit and how it works to improve the lives of patients by empowering them to support research that is important to them as patient research partners. Their lived experiences and personal healthcare journeys bring important perspectives to th…

1
Family Engagement in Research (FER) with Rachel Martens (EP 18) 23:43

26d ago23:43

23:43

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
Partnering for Pain with Dr. Katie Birnie (EP 16) 28:24

26d ago28:24

28:24

Send us a Text Message.Av AbSPORU Patient Engagement Team with Host Sandra Zelinsky

1
You don’t need permission. 1:29

26d ago1:29

1:29

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) Because stepparents start out as outsiders, we have this tendency to kind of hover around on the sidelines, like we’re waiting for someone to give us permission to participate in our new families. Or maybe we want someone to fill us in on the rules of this new game so we don’t piss anybody off. This can happen even f…

1
Parallel parenting doesn’t make you a bad co-parent. 1:16

27d ago1:16

1:16

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) There's a tendency to act like parallel parenting is the shameful option we only resort to because we've failed at co-parenting somehow. But when you're dealing with a high-conflict ex, co-parenting is not possible, because they will never compromise. In fact their inability to compromise is literally the thing that …

1
Is stepparenting worth it? 1:38

28d ago1:38

1:38

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) The rewards of stepparenting can feel way too few and way too far between for this gig to feel “worth it.” The bullshit outnumbers the wins by at least 10 to 1. That’s the thing, though: we can’t think about stepparenting in those terms — just like no one thinks about whether it’d be “worth it” to have their own kids…

1
Sudden stepkid rejection. 1:08

29d ago1:08

1:08

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) I talk A LOT about how challenging my relationship with my own stepkid has been, but actually our relationship started out pretty decent… before it took a steep nosedive around 6 months in. Followed by more major issues right around the 2-year mark. Turns out this is super common — this exact pattern, timing and all.…

1
Don’t parent more than your partner! 1:14

1M ago1:14

1:14

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) When you’re in a relationship with someone who has children, by definition that implies that you’ve agreed to help parent those kids. Let me just say that again: you’ve agreed to help parent. Which implies that your partner should already be parenting their kids. Stepparents: you can't parent your stepkids unless you…

1
Barriers and Facilitators in Patient & Family Engagement with Frank McGavin (EP 25) 36:46

1M ago36:46

36:46

Send us a Text Message. In episode 25 of PEP Talks, we speak with Frank Gavin, the former chair of the Public Advisory Council for the Health Data Research Network Canada and former director of Citizen Engagement for the National Child Bright Research Network. Gavin shares his knowledge and insights on patient engagement in health research and pers…

1
Why are we doing this again?? 1:36

1M ago1:36

1:36

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) It’s important to remember that the whole reason that you’re putting up with all this bullshit as a stepparent is because you really really really love your partner. So it’s also important to make sure that relationship is healthy, supportive, and worth it. Look, we can't do any of this without our partners' help. We…

1
Ep 71: How Often Do You Think About the Fall of the Roman Empire? 7:43

1M ago7:43

7:43

...or the future of our own cultural output? Dear Listener, please enjoy this space-y, star-filled Mini Pep about the infinite freedom that comes from making digital doodles. My Threads App artists doodle harvest can be found here: https://www.threads.net/@talluts/post/CucE58OLSwU/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Artists mentioned: Sharon Butler (see all o…

1
High conflict affects how your family blends. 1:18

1M ago1:18

1:18

💬 Send us a text! (Yes really!) In a high-conflict step parenting situation, the natural process of blending your family gets set back over and over again with each battle between households. So if you’re blaming yourself for this whole blending thing being a hell of a lot harder than you anticipated, please knock that off right now. Stepfamily exp…

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