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Little French Jelly Death Match

Little French Jelly Death Match

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Holiday surprise! Seltzer Death Match has been taken over by an authorized spinoff, Little French Jelly Death Match. Previous guest judge Abbey Kos joins Travis Larchuk as we go day-by-day through the Bonne Maman jam advent calendar. Seltzer Death Match is the quest to find the best seltzer in America. Hosts Rachel Ward and Travis Larchuk meet up with a guest judge for a head-to-head taste test of two seltzers and/or carbonated-water-based beverages. Our intro & exit music is Dubstep Drift 0 ...
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'Twas the jam before Jam-mas, when all through the jam / Not a jam was jamming, not even a jam; / The jam were jam by the jam with jam, / Jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam jam. It's the grand finale of "Little French Jelly Death Match" and today Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the twenty-fourth of 23 jams and 1 honey, and then never eat jam …
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I'm going to be quite honest. Mango Raspberry Lime? What are we doing here? On this, the eve of Christmas Eve? This couldn't have come earlier in the calendar? Who's programming this thing? What's happening? If this were the AV Club, you'd be getting a C-, Bonne Maman. Step it up. Anyway, "Little French Jelly Death Match" is almost over, and before…
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First, a jellyfish fact has washed up on the beach of this podcast. After we have some fun learning about marine biology, we try some more jam because that's all we do or have ever done with our lives. Time is running out to be named the best jam before Christmas! And today, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk dive into the twenty-second of 23 jams and 1 …
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The font size has never been smaller as Bonne Maman throws every fucking ingredient it has into one jam. The end is near and they need to clear out the pantry, plus all the jams have been good lately, so let's cut them some slack. In this episode, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the twenty-first of 23 jams and 1 honey. CURRENT STANDINGS 1. Cherry …
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Why is Christmas in December? We'll clear that up. And then... the return of Mirabelle Plum! The return of spice! Could this team-up skyrocket to the top of the charts? Find out as "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues -- a podcast no one asked for, but Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk are making anyway. It's the twentieth of 23 jams and 1 honey,…
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Before we begin this episode, a quick note about the gender binary we've been opening the past 18 episodes with. This is an inclusive jam podcast, welcoming to all genders of jammers, and we apologize to those who felt left out. No one has said anything, but just in case. Also, it's time to try the nineteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey. CURRENT STANDIN…
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Please welcome to the stage: Cherry Christmas Spice! It's looking good for holiday spirit, because "Christmas" is literally in the name of this jam. Before Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try this eighteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey, they discuss the Biblical origins of Hanukkah and the existential dread of Lego. CURRENT STANDINGS 1. Mirabelle Plum Lind…
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Whew, that new Avatar movie was quite something, huh? I do think there could have been some more jam in it. Really, just not enough jam. What's going on, James, did you blow the entire budget on special effects and couldn't afford to put down a few Washingtons for a jar of fruit spread? Anyway, this isn't Rotten Tomatoes, it's a jam podcast that us…
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Things got POSH up in this advent calendar! Apricot!? Bergamot!?!? What is this, Saks Fifth Avenue!!????!? Get ready to feel like you're definitely part of the problem in our capitalist hellscape in this episode of "Little French Jelly Death Match." Today's consumers, as always, are Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk. And they're going to taste the sixte…
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How long does jam keep? Today we'll give you the FDA's official guidelines on jam safety so you can know whether it's time to throw out the remnants of that Day 1 Rhubarb Strawberry spread. Plus, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk will stuff their maws with the fifteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey. "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues! CURRENT STANDIN…
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Here there be dragons! Dragons-fruits, that is! If you've never seen a dragonfruit, you probably weren't on Instagram about 5 years ago, back when it was about people taking pictures of cool-looking food truck stuff, before it became 100% shirtless selfies. If you liked that run-on sentence you'll love this episode of "Little French Jelly Death Mat…
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Her again? Yuzu continues to try to get into our good graces, this time by hitching its wagon to pineapple. Will it find more success than when it teamed up with orange and grapefruit, or is this a sequel that's worse than the first? Find out as Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the thirteenth of 23 jams and 1 honey. CURRENT STANDINGS 1. Mirabelle P…
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Forget St. Nicholas, today it's all about St. Germain as we slam back some elderflower jam. It's also the UN's International Day of Neutrality. What are you neutral about today? Have you ever put your car in neutral? I think I've only ever done it by accident. I honestly don't know what that gear is for. Maybe if you're getting towed or something? …
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We're almost halfway until Christmas, a great time to take a little break from the grind of eating jam after jam and check in on our mental and physical health. Also, how are you doing? You don't have to say if you don't want to, maybe just sit and think about it. Thank you for listening to "Little French Jelly Death Match," only 9,900 more listene…
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We begin today's not-about-seltzer episode with a game about the most popular jam flavors. Can YOU guess them all? CAN YOU? I need to know because I'm being held captive and they'll only let me go if I can guess the most popular jam flavors. Please help! In the meantime, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk will try the tenth of 23 jams and 1 honey in thei…
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Go to the ATM machine to grab some cash money for a chai tea to enjoy alongside your jelly jam, because today's unnecessarily repetitive fruit spread is Orange Mandarin. In case you're wondering how this podcast got into your smart phone, "Little French Jelly Death Match" has taken over the Seltzer Death Match feed. Today, your special hosts Abbey …
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Bring us some figgy pudding? More like, bring us some fig cardamom jam! Also, if you didn't know the horrifying truth about figs and wasps before, you will after listening to today's pod. Good luck sleeping tonight. Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk continue our special holiday "Little French Jelly Death Match" with the eighth of 23 jams and 1 honey. Me…
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Yum yum, more goopy Band-Aids! The race to become Christmas's Next Jam Superstar is heating up as a new jam steps into the spotlight. Her name is Peach Jasmine Flower and she does not mess around. Colloid? I don't know his phone number. Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk try the seventh of 23 jams and 1 honey as this very extremely special holiday event …
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How many times have you been run over by a reindeer? Also, what's pectin? The competition is getting sweet! "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues with Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk's important work to find the best jam before Christmas, tasting the sixth of 23 jams and 1 honey. CURRENT STANDINGS 1. Mirabelle Plum Linden Blossom (58) -- 2-day j…
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Happy(?) Krampusnacht! It's the day when St. Nicholas's evil assistant(?) kidnaps naughty children and takes them to hell. What will Krampus think of today's jam, Pear with Cocoa Nibs? Will he take it to hell, or let St. Nick fill its little shoes with candies and toys? We'll find out when Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk taste the fifth of 23 jams and…
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Can you bring jam onto an airplane? What is a Linden Blossom? Either way, this episode is definitely approved to bring through a TSA security checkpoint. "Little French Jelly Death Match" continues with your hosts Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk, as we taste the fourth of 23 jams and 1 honey on a quest to find the best jam before Christmas. CURRENT ST…
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Today’s “Little French Jelly Death Match” begins with an explanation of jelly vs. jam vs. preserves vs. marmalade vs. compote. Does Bonne Maman care about the distinction? We know they're into labels, but usually those labels are just adorable ones made to look hand-written. Then, Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk taste the third of 23 jams and 1 honey.…
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In today’s “Little French Jelly Death Match,” Abbey Kos and Travis Larchuk taste the second of 23 jams and 1 honey. We also learn about a little-known, and almost certainly fake, Dec. 2 holiday. Will Orange Yuzu Grapefruit unseat the current jam-pion? Yuzu'll have to listen to find out. CURRENT STANDINGS: 1. Rhubarb Strawberry (35)…
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Surprise! Your seltzer feed has been taken over by an authorized spinoff of the franchise. “Little French Jelly Death Match” will be an audio advent calendar following the actual Bonne Maman advent calendar of little jams. We want you to play along! Snag a jam calendar here:https://www.bonnemaman.us/2022-advent-calendar.html?gclid=CjwKCAiA68ebBhB-E…
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It’s a battle of grapefruit seltzers! Podcast producer Mike Katzif joins us for today’s matchup: Waterloo vs. Alta Palla.**Mike’s original plug was edited out of the show because this episode was recorded in 2019 and he was plugging the concept of attending live concerts. But he suggests, “In the meantime, maybe watching musicians performing awkwar…
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We're back, just in time for that Independence Day cookout you definitely shouldn't be going to because social distancing is still a thing. Hot dog aficionado Sam Lee joins us to taste two more trendy hemp seltzers. Today's matchup: Sweet Reason strawberry lavender vs. Dram gingergrass.Black lives matter; this seltzer podcast does not... so enjoy t…
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We begin with an actual news update from our carbonation correspondent about the coronavirus pandemic’s impact on the seltzer industry. Then, another new episode from 2019: Writer/editor/strategist Abbey Kos joins us to make a confession. Today’s matchup: An artisanal local Brooklyn seltzer vs. FOUND unflavored.Today’s episode uses the song “She Th…
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Club soda vs. mineral water? The world's gone to hell, so who cares! In late 2019, New York Times reporter Caitlin Dickerson joined us in a shipping container in the backyard of a Bushwick pizza restaurant to compare two things that make no sense to compare. Today's matchup: Sea to Sea club Soda vs. Lurisia mineral water.…
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Peter Bresnan is the producer of Gimlet's "The Habitat," about six fake astronauts trapped in a fake Mars habitat for a year. What happens when he's trapped in a seltzer podcast for an hour, edited down to 13 minutes? Today's matchup: Polar Club Soda Lemon Twist vs. Polar Seltzer "Yeti Mischief."Av Little French Jelly Death Match
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Joy. Sadness. Anger. Fear. Disgust. These are the five human emotions, as depicted by Pixar's "Inside Out." Which do you experience upon drinking seltzer? We explore this question with Tim Manley, storyteller and writer/star of the web series "The Feels." Today's matchup: Four Point Zero Green Apple vs. Four Point Zero Mango Cilantro.…
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Does Chelsea Clinton like seltzer? We know she was once in the vicinity of Hint Fizz, thanks to today's guest judge, Rebecca Soffer. She's the co-founder of "Modern Loss," a web site and book with essays about the grieving process. Today's battle: Topo Chico from Mexico vs. Selters from Germany.Av Little French Jelly Death Match
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The VP of Boylan Bottling Co. joins us to defend his company’s products in the wake of Boylan’s losses at the hands of regional favoritism and a non-seltzer mixed with soy sauce. In this extra-long special episode, we’ll learn everything we didn’t know we wanted to know about the bub biz. Then, it’s a Boylan Battle Royale: We’ll taste all four Boyl…
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Does Bob Costas like seltzer? Our special guest judge, NPR's Kat Chow, might know the answer. She discusses her stint as a producer at the Vancouver Winter Olympics. Then she surprises us with an unprecedented challenge: mixing seltzer with SOY SAUCE. Today's matchup: Boylan's Lemon Seltzer vs. San Pellegrino Lemon (which we know is not technically…
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The hosts of Gimlet's "The Nod," Brittany Luse and Eric Eddings, join us to discuss an important parenting topic: when to introduce your children to seltzer. Also, Brittany makes up a seltzer cake recipe and we taste two mineral waters from Spain: Mondariz and Sant Aniol.Av Little French Jelly Death Match
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Welcome to Night Vale's Cecil Baldwin joins us for our season 2 premiere, now with even more questionable audio quality! Join us back in Rachel Ward's Brooklyn apartment as we discuss the difference between Insta-Gays and #instagays and how to pronounce the words "apricot" and "Cúrate." Today's matchup: LaCroix Apricot vs. Voss Tangerine Lemongrass…
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It all comes down to this. Previous guest judges and other friends join us to help taste the final two seltzers, offer new sense memories and air grievances in a spectacular live (on tape) finale. Featuring cameos by David Greene and Rachel's Dad, and a clip of Katie Couric discussing seltzer courtesy of NPR & WAMU's The Big Listen.Today’s episode …
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Did you know there's an entire country north of The United States? We'll learn more about this mysterious land with today's guest judge, Slate's unofficial Canada correspondent, Chris Berube. He tells us that Canadians call seltzer "club soda." Go figure: It's just like Canadians to figure out how to spell "seltzer" with the letter "U." (Also, we a…
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Does Rachel Maddow like seltzer? And, hypothetically, if you were in charge of a podcasting agency that partners with businesses to create branded content, what would be your dream seltzer account? As we approach the season finale, Nazanin Rafsanjani guest judges the first of two semifinal death matches. Only she can decide who moves to the finals:…
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Is seltzer good for your skin? What liquid do you soak your meatball breadcrumbs in? What are we even talking about anymore? Katie Christiansen joins us for the last quarterfinal round, as Vintage and LaCroix Coconut battle it out for a spot in the semifinals.Today’s episode contains a snippet of “Think,” by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommerci…
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Who's your Disney sidepiece? We talk about the hottest bros in the Magic Kingdom with BuzzFeed consultant Chiquita Paschal. Also, returning quarterfinalist seltzers Hint Fizz Peach and Rocchetta Brio Blu battle for a spot in the semifinals. Today's episode contains a snippet of "Think," by Lee Rosevere, CC Attribution-NonCommercial License.…
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Does Ira Glass like seltzer? Today's program in three acts. Act I: "For Whom the Bub Bubs." We meet our guest judge, This American Life's Zoe Chace. Act II: "Quarter for Your Finals." Returning winners Adirondack Lemon-Lime (the David Sedaris of seltzer) and Hal’s New York Black Cherry (the Mike Birbiglia of seltzer) compete.Act III: "Personal Refl…
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