In this episode I explore the concept of tonic masculinity – a positive, generative force that brings vitality and growth to our world. Unlike its pathological counterparts, tonic masculinity represents the unique texture of masculine love that’s deeply caring, attuned, and focused on creating positive change. I delve into how this manifestation of…

In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Luke Adler to expose the hidden price of success that’s crushing high-achieving men. We reveal why driven professionals can’t feel their own exhaustion until it’s too late, and share the breakthrough solution we’ve discovered through our work with countless men. If you’re winning at life but feeling empty inside,…

In this episode, I dive into the crucial distinction between having needs and being needy. Understanding this difference is vital for fostering healthy relationships and ensuring that we connect with the right people in our lives. The characteristics of neediness and how it can push people away. The importance of expressing our needs directly and t…

Discover the secrets to a sizzling sex life that keeps getting better and better year after year! In this episode, Violet and I reveal our sexual journey, sharing candid tips on maintaining erotic energy and emotional connection. Learn why safety, vulnerability, and shared responsibility are the keys to unlocking unparalleled pleasure and deepening…

In this episode, my wife Violet and I dive deep into the raw, real, and often messy side of relationships by sharing our three biggest fights and lessons from them. From trust issues and emotional disregulation to financial stress and fertility struggles, we explore how rupture and repair are essential for growth in any partnership. We also introdu…

If you only had about 2 hours a week to spend on your relationship, how could you use that time most wisely? The truth is relationships can be incredibly challenging, especially in today’s fast-paced world where it can be hard to prioritize the relationship. Even when partners deeply love each other, they may face difficulties in maintaining passio…

In this episode, I challenge the negative perception of “nice guys” in the men’s work world. The truth is, being a nice guy is an evolutionary leap in masculinity as it brings online kindness and sensitivity in men. It’s not about killing or getting rid of our nice guy, but instead is all about integrating him along with our power. Click the icon b…

In this episode I explore reveals three game-changing types of fluidity – nervous system, emotional, and polarity – that can skyrocket your personal growth and relationships. Learn how mastering these skills can help you effortlessly navigate stress, emotions, and social dynamics. Click the icon below to listen.…

Join Dr. Luke Adler and me in this powerful episode in the Heart of Shadow podcast series as we sit down with three courageous men—Michael, Sean, and Shawn—who have undergone the transformative Heart of Shadow program. They open up about their journeys – sharing how the program helped them confront and heal deep-seated anger, fear, and past traumas…

In this episode, I’m again joined by my co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler, a Chinese medicine doctor who’s led over 50,000 healing sessions. We discuss the intersection of Chinese medicine and shadow work and delve into the holistic approach of Chinese medicine and its connection to mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We highlight how physiolo…

In this episode, I explore the difference between temporary state experiences and permanent stage transformations, emphasizing that while retreats, workshops, and spiritual practices can provide powerful glimpses into new ways of being, the real work lies in integrating these experiences into daily life through consistent effort, community support,…

In this episode, I delve into the unique pain of debt – be it financial, health, or emotional. I share my personal experiences with credit card debt, weight loss struggles, and tackling years of accumulated clutter to highlight a common thread: the pain and paralysis of facing overwhelming debts in various aspects of life. I explore the challenging…

In this episode, I am joined by Luke Adler as we discuss the raw, unfiltered reality of personal growth and shadow work. We pull back the curtain on our own ongoing struggles with maintaining sexual vitality, showing up for our families, and confronting shame in long-term relationships. We explore how neglecting our core energies can lead to discon…

In this episode, I tackle a critical mistake in personal development: setting ambitious goals without addressing our nervous system’s state. I challenge the “mind over matter” approach, introducing the counterintuitive concept of regulate first and action will follow. By prioritizing nervous system regulation and fostering genuine connection, we cr…

Almost every man I work with struggles with either mental or emotional rumination throughout their life. In this episode, I explore 3 strategies to help you stop ruminating as a man. Get support in person at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat. Get support virtually in a Breakthrough Coaching Group. Click the icon below to listen.…

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I delve into the nuanced discussion of why men often fear coming forward emotionally, especially in intimate relationships. We explore the idea that while there is a growing expectation for men to be more vulnerable and emotional, there can be a disconnect when men express their emotions…

In this episode, I break down the subtle but important difference between waiting for permission from the outside to take action, and the much deeper capacity to rest in consciousness until we get a clear signal inside ourselves that it’s time to act. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

This episode explores the concept of masculine leadership via creating shared reality. Shared reality involves mutual understanding and connection, minimizing conflict that arises from a lack of being on the same page. This leadership brings structure, clarity, and context to situations, making implicit things explicit and creating safety along the…

In this episode, I further bust the lone wolf myth, highlighting how the “pick yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality isn’t all we think it to be, and why men grow best in a collective. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow podcast series, Luke Adler and I talk about the habit of men using ejaculation for self-regulation, and how a powerful alternative is to step more into our experience via checking in with a men’s group. Join the Heart of Shadow waitlist at heartofshadow.com Click the icon below to listen.…

In this episode, I explore the important difference between integrity and congruence, and how crucially important it is to understand the distinction for nice guys. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

This episode is short and sweet and about the important reframe of focusing on a better, not easier life, and how connection and community are the most powerful ingredients for that to happen. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

In this episode, I chat with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Luke Adler about the common experience of men wanting to understand everything and how that’s often a way to resist feeling. We go deep into how this can lead to staying in the realm of the mind and avoiding emotional connection. We explore the power of moving from the head to the heart…

Inspired by one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs, in this episode I talk about what it means to “Do the Evolution”, and its significance in personal growth and development. Drawing from developmental theory, I explore what it means to “do the work” through the lens of subject-object relations and how our awareness evolves allowing us to “see” more an…

Every intimate relationship will cross a critical, often make-or-break threshold moment in which the two foundational components of polarity and intimacy invert. Tune in to this episode to learn about this important milestone, what often goes wrong, and what tools can support your relationship in thriving beyond this moment. Click the icon below to…

In this episode, I’m excited to welcome friend and healer David Romero to delve into the healing potentials of psychedelic medicines. David shares his fascinating journey from the military to yoga, mental health, and psychedelic healing. He shares the importance of developing a relationship with the medicines, how they aren’t a magical cure-all, th…

In this episode, I delve into the transformative power of shifting our mindset from ‘moving away’ to ‘moving toward’, a crucial pivot that can radically alter our lives. I shine a light on our common male tendency to dodge emotional discomfort and the profound healing that unfolds when we bravely face our feelings. I then explore the vital role of …

In this episode I explore a lesser-known aspect of the saying “If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you” that can be particularly hard for men! Watch: Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

In this episode, I explore the significance of having a safe place to return to after facing setbacks or feelings of shame in life, and how the power of a men’s group and community can be the key to moving beyond our shame by giving us a place to consciously come back to relationship. Click the icon below to listen.…

In this episode, I’m once again joined by Luke Adler to explore the sense of hurt and disconnection that many men are experiencing today, and how having the courage to feel is the medicine we desperately need as men to drop below all the surface-level forces that try to pull us away from our discomfort, whether it be relationally, politically, cult…

In this episode, I delve into the topics of purpose and passion, two crucial aspects of a man’s life. Contrary to a lot of the talk in the world of men’s work, finding our purpose is often a lot less straightforward than we think, and not always as simple as “do what you love” or “follow your passion”. Whether you love what you do or are yearning f…

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I discuss the impact of shadow work on long-term relationships. We share our own experiences of how shadow work has transformed our marriages and how important the work has been to maintain vitality and prevent stagnation. We explore the need for personal responsibility and owning one’s …

Anger and aggression are NOT the same thing, and the most dangerous men are aggressive men who aren’t aware of their anger. In this episode I break down the all-important difference between anger and aggression, and talk about the three keys to embodying healthy anger in the world, and why our planet needs a whole lot more men doing it. Want a safe…

In this episode, my co-host Luke Adler and I talk about why us men can be so hard on themselves. We delve into the roots of this harshness and scrutinize its impact on overall health and happiness. Drawing from personal experiences and knowledge gained from our work with men, we provide viable strategies to navigate through the maze of self-critici…

In this episode, I explore ‘Nice Guy Syndrome’, its origins, and how to overcome it. Using Dr. Gabor Mate’s idea of two primary human needs: attachment and authenticity, I explore how men often suppress their authentic selves to secure attachment, leading to Nice Guy Syndrome. I then discuss how reclaiming authenticity is one of the most powerful u…

In this episode, Luke Adler joins me once more to explore an issue many men experience – stagnation, or feeling stuck. Men in particular often suffer from emotional stagnation, manifesting as feelings of despair, depression, or emotional numbness – all of which can have serious physical and spiritual consequences. Luke enlightens us with his knowle…

Discover the key to shifting your patterns and attracting better intimate partners and deeper connections through the power of inner work. Join The Heart of Shadow men’s group now! Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

In this episode, I discuss two important concepts related to men and masculinity: precarious manhood and the man box. The first refers to the sociocultural belief that manhood is a fragile status that needs to be constantly defended, while the latter is a societal construct that dictates norms and expectations for men. These concepts contribute to …

In this episode, I once again explore loneliness among men and highlight the detrimental health risks associated with lacking meaningful connections. Then I break down the difference between loneliness and social isolation, the importance of the quality of our connections over the quantity, and how men’s groups can provide the depth of connection s…

In this episode, I explore one of the main ways men often keep themselves stuck. Many of us will default to soothing ourselves when in distress instead of focusing on actual healing. Tune in to learn the difference between the temporary relief of soothing and the long-term change that comes from healing. Click the icon below to listen.…

In this episode, discover the importance of doing your ’emotional work’ as a man in order to thrive in life. Our emotions can greatly impact our stress levels, health, decision-making capabilities, and how much others trust us. This is a topic you won’t want to miss. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

In this episode I break down three of the big reasons I see men show up in men’s group and step onto the path of men’s work. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

Long time listeners know that I believe every man should be in a men’s group, and in this episode I dive into one of the many reasons why: they can help us get clear about what we need and want in our lives and relationships. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

Attention and Tension are two terms that are deeply related when it comes to what makes the masculine inside all of us tick. The ability to consciously wield our attention is a great power and easier to do when we hold less tension in our bodies. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

In this episode I unpack a common phrase: “Well, I had a pretty good childhood” to explore what lies beneath this common phrase, why it’s so commonly used by nice guys, and how our childhood can be the key to our growth as adults. Click the icon below to listen.Av Evolutionary Men

An all too easy trap on the path of growth is to get hyper-focused on enlightenment, which if we’re not careful can become just another way to get away from one’s experience. Join me and my fellow Heart of Shadow facilitator Luke Adler as we talk about what’s possible when we focus on the path of intimacy instead. As a men’s guide, I’m increasingly…

One of the many gifts of shadow work is how it can help us crack open to the deepest parts of ourselves, bringing us into more intimate contact with all of who we are. In this episode, Luke and I explore what it means to crack open and bring our buried shadow elements to the surface to be met with awareness and light. Are you ready to dive into sha…

Dating can be an exhausting enterprise for many men and can feel like a neverending battle that can get very disheartening, especially if we lose sight of the true purpose of dating. Tune in to this episode to find out how to reclaim your power as a man so that you know your purpose in dating. Click the icon below to listen.…

Want to take your relationship to the next level as a man? One of the more important changes you make has to do with how you receive feedback or hurt from a partner when they’ve been impacted by you in a negative way. It’s easy for us guys to “lawyer up” in these moments instead of showing up first as a lover. Listen in to learn more about being a …

Sexuality is one of the most powerful energies on the planet and one that can easily cause great harm if not matched with consciousness. We’re living in a time when we men have the opportunity to take charge of our sexual charge and use it generatively rather than destructively. In this episode of our Heart of Shadow series, my co-facilitator Luke …