"We are destined to begin again and again." Safra finds the heart. Guard finds Matron. June finds Luna. But will Isaac find the plot? Probably not. Nominate us for CRiT Awards! https://bit.ly/crit2024 == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Strong Reclaimed" by Sayer Roberts "Yesterday's Thoughts" by Heath Cantu, Epidemic Sound "Black Bullet" by Deskant, Epidemi…

"I know this isn't the time or the place, but, could you describe it to me?" A battalion of ghosts, perpetually reliving a moment of their troubled past alongside an acid lake, might not sound hauntingly beautiful. But to Safra, it means the world. Will their stolen moment of appreciation go unnoticed by their assailants? Probably not. Nominate us …

"There is a bell in Jonathan. It must be there for a reason!" A wyvern, a god, a myconid, an entire battalion of undead super soldiers, a mysterious craftwork demon, and a literal second god all want our heroes to promptly fuck off. But will they listen? Probably not. == CREDITS == Sponsored By Rapscallion, by Magpie Games Soundtrack "Strong Reclai…

"Are you gonna eat me?" In the city of Agravar, humans aren't the only folk that are trying to get by. Join Angie the Pigeon, Blueberry the snake, and Shoo the bat as they try to navigate the city's shady underbelly to help a friend in need. Hopefully the capybara leave them alone. == CREDITS == Cast GM: Cinderblocksally Angie: Emily Greymoore Blue…

"Sometimes we're lucky enough to find people who force us to feel..." It's time for a long rest. Deep inside the Jonathan's shell, our heroes reflect on their journey and their place within it. But will they be able to catch their breath, uninterrupted by dragons? Probably not. Subject matter: Emotional suppression, suicidal ideation, parentificati…

"You step one foot over the threshold and die." Jonathan, the Anchor, has retreated deep into the earth. Guard, the reckless, has done much the same. Will our heroes be reunited in time to stop Jonathan from slipping out of reality? Probably not. == CREDITS == Sponsored By Rapscallion, by Magpie Games Soundtrack "Strong Reclaimed" by Sayer Roberts …

"Forgive me for seeing a man dying of thirst in the desert and offering him water." Harisa is forced to consider which is harder to wrestle: one's past or a gigantic crystal worm. Will our heroes keep their heads as they fly headlong at both? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Strong Rallied" by Sayer Roberts "Whisper of the Wasteland" by Vict…

"You know what you've got? You've got spunk." A new bonus arc, coming to Patreon February 20th. == CREDITS == Cast GM: Cinderblocksally Angie: Emily Greymoore Blueberry: Sam Oliver Shoo: Caustic Phoenix Soundtrack “Bit of Cheek” by Patrick PeriniAv Unbalanced Encounters

"I've talked to death. I've looked oblivion in the eye. And if you think you can step up to me, feel free." Our heroes clash with a friendly face in a decidedly unfriendly place. Against the elements, they're forced to ask the big questions: where is Zeesha Alzira? What is aging people to death? And most importantly: will Harisa get laid? Probably …

"That sound you just heard was Sam walking out." At long last our heroes travel to Evening's Dawn, where they hope to find the Agra army and Harisa's mother. But things start bad and get much, much worse. Will they make to Evening's Dawn before the players have a complete mental breakdown? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Strong Rallied" by …

"I cast Turn the Faithless." A bomb has gone off at the gala. Our heroes, newly ascendant to positions on the Agra Council, are the only ones left standing when the dust clears and something looms over the bodies of their friends. Will they be able to save them all? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Strong Rallied" by Sayer Roberts "Aftermath…

Thank you all for making 2023 the best year yet! We love you tremendously, and will we see you back in January? YES! == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Cornerstone" by Leimoti, Epidemic SoundAv Unbalanced Encounters

"Every day, a new story dies. But legends live on at sea..." Three bumbling buccaneers have been entrusted with a simple job: retrieve treasure out from under the chaos of a naval invasion. Surely, everyone will be too preoccupied to interfere. Nevertheless, will our heroes come away with their expected loot? Probably not. == CREDITS == Cast GM: Pa…

"Will you be the foundation of the small seed we've planted?" Nearly two months pass as our heroes are left without clear aim. In that time, they learn of Sisterhood secrets, deific origin myths, and how to ballroom room dance. But will any of those skills help them survive their next great trial? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack "Strong Rall…

"All you ever needed to do was forgive yourself." Join us for a very special episode of Unbalanced Encounters, featuring 5 short stories from Agravar: The Prince and the Painter June and Hank crash a certain secret underground fight club. For Want of a Leaf Isaac and his family celebrate Animarum as best they can. Pain et Chocolat Safra reunites wi…

"Work it girl! Yes, yes! Love it." Our heroes return once again to Agravar. In the wake of an attempted coup, they stock up on knowledge, armor, explosives and — of course — dresses. But will any of this help them in their journeys to come? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied" by Sayer Roberts “Blue Lantern" by Yi Nantiro, Epid…

"Legends live on at sea..." A new pirate bonus arc, coming to Patreon November 7th. == CREDITS == Cast GM: Patrick Perini Hoagie: Cinderblocksally Kind: Craig Pate Marv: Ibraheem Soundtrack “Wine-Drunk Sea” by Patrick PeriniAv Unbalanced Encounters

"Can I roll to look for sandal prints?" Porki returns in our third Rallying Interlude. Our heroes double-level up, get their patron-created magic items, and take a much needed beachside break. But will they actually relax? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied" by Sayer Roberts “Moonlight Serenade (60’s Pop Version)” by Martin Ga…

"I might not be the one that destroys you, but you're not walking away from this." A mysterious blood warden has crashed the Cleanser's intervention. He has a mysterious hold on Guard and mastery over blood vines. Will our heroes learn anything about him at all? Even his name? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Remembered" by Sayer Ro…

"There are so many beautiful things. And you need to remember." The Cleanser is upon our heroes, gnashing sapphire teeth and writhing blood-red pustules. Will they be able to calm him and remain in one piece? No. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Remembered" by Sayer Roberts “Hidden" by Farrell Wooten, Epidemic Sound “Barren" by Martin Klem, Epide…

"What makes you think you deserve a second chance?" Long ago, before geckos climbed trees, the cycle of life and death suddenly stopped. Put off by this development, a wayward cleric, a frustrated psychopomp, and a blind bard seek the origins of death and to begin the cycle of reincarnation. But in the end will they finally be able to die? Probably…

"What do you need from me right now?" June has finally be reunited with her long-lost mother. But will their reunion be a joyous one? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “The River Told Me Lies" by Daniel Gunnarsson, Epidemic Sound “Enough by Now" by Headlund, Epidemic Sound “Drops of Golden Sun" by Yi Nantiro, Epidemic Sound “Interpale" by Luce…

"What the fuck, mama?" Wardens pursue our heroes as their memories, one by one, dissolve into sand. Will Guard's plan to chug a vial of sap and astral project to the Empressar get them any closer to their goals? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Remembered” by Sayer Roberts “Evil Intentions” by Experia, Epidemic Sound “High Scepter” …

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the DARK ABYSS" A flash of blue light and red vine. A death. An escape. The ringing of a bell. And... Oz? Will our heroes be able to melt into the crowds at the Dark Abyss and slip out unscathed? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Remembered” by Sayer Roberts “Diamonds in the Sky” by Yi Nantiro, Epide…

"What makes you think you deserve a second chance?" A new folktale bonus arc, coming to Patreon August 15th. == CREDITS == Cast GM: Patrick Perini The Shepherd: Sayer Roberts The Phantom: Emily Greymoore The Song: Hunter W. Thompson Soundtrack “Endless Beginnings” by Patrick PeriniAv Unbalanced Encounters

"Who are the bad guys here?" A war. A conspiracy of assassins. A missing mother. An elder god bent on cleansing the earth. Rosemary. How are they all connected? June and Harisa think they might be able to find the answer deep in the governor's archives. Guard and Isaac think they can find it at the bottom of a well. Will either pair be right? Proba…

In the heart of Altair, the capital city of Ostilla, something strange is stirring. The Old Altair Museum of Antiquities is having a grand opening as it transforms into the Imperial Heritage Museum! The who's-who of the city will all be there. This will be a glorious day for the empire. Or... maybe it'll turn into a heist featuring some unexpected …

"Mole people!" Our heroes, having made it through the gauntlet of war, the desert, and Isaac's family FINALLY make it to this gods-damned meeting. But will they learn how to defeat assassins, the Cleanser, and the Empressar all in an hour and a half? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Remembered” by Sayer Roberts "Left to Guess" by Le…

"Not me. I love my fuckin' dad." Harisa's parents drove her from home at a young age. June's father is dead and her mother has been missing for years. Guard only recently learned about mothers. And Isaac? Isaac's family is great. Supportive, kind, and surprisingly intellectual — but can they help keep Isaac out of trouble? Probably not. == CREDITS …

"You're that stranger what come in with the Isaac Axedrummers, ain't ya?" Locked into mortal combat with an unknown company of assassins, our heroes struggle to find their own footing while the town around them burns. Will they be able to save themselves, the whole village, and at least one assassin for "questioning"? Probably not. == CREDITS == So…

"Oh what unspeakable wonders await you!" A new eldritch horror bonus arc, coming to Patreon June 20th. == CREDITS == Cast GM: Cinderblocksally Perrin McArthur: Emily Greymoore Dwight Hearttaker: Craig Pate Phlanagin Harlock: T. W. Clawson Soundtrack “A Stolen Scepter” by Patrick PeriniAv Unbalanced Encounters

"No, it's not right. This isn't how it happened. That's not right." Isaac Axedrummer, in puppet form, is being paraded through the streets of a small town. It seems that every year, this little community relives the fateful day when Isaac killed the Lord Governor Agra. But can our heroes be sure that the villagers aren't marching him to a funeral p…

"I am very intentionally trying to remove one of her arms." June interrogates her newfound half-brother. Isaac has a heart-to-heart with Scrumpy. Guard begins his career in torture. Harisa kills again. But will any of these endeavors help our heroes arrive in Agravar in one piece? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied” by Sayer R…

"Hello! Did you miss me?" Reunited with her father after 20 years, Safra Harisa is finally getting to learn a little bit about her heritage and how she might reclaim her bond to Mr. Spinx. But will this ancient Taniyn ritual go off without a hitch? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied” by Sayer Roberts "Desert Dream" by Taomito,…

"I fire at Martin." Rally has fallen to the Hakota Agra, Lord Governor of Agravar. But Hakota Agra has been dead by Isaac's hand for 20 years. Is he back from the dead? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied” by Sayer Roberts "Finnegan's Ruin" by Eludent, Epidemic Sound "Where No Man Has Gone Before" by Dream Cave, Epidemic Sound …

"Is kidnapping a light crime?" Seems those damned letters were sent by shadow types backed by the Empressar. The job: kidnap a fugitive arcanist and deliver him back into Imperial custody. And if our heroes don't comply, blackmail might be in order. Will our heroes ever see their thirty thousand gold? Probably not == CREDITS == Guests Lambert, Nick…

"If a god dies in the forest, and there's no one around to worship them, who avenges them?" Join us as we take a little detour from the rush of Rally, to a little town called Valenka. 50 years before the events of Rally, a few mercenaries were hired to recover a target of utmost importance to... someone. Will our guest heroes find him and deliver h…

"I'm sorry, Sgt. Harisa. The city has fallen." It's level up time again friends! Join us as our heroes get magic items from an old friend and find out what hijinks Martin has been up to in their long absence. But can it really be that simple? Probably not == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied” by Sayer Roberts "Form is Emptiness" by Sayuri Hay…

"Tell Safra... I love her." Our heroes face the most debilitating foe of all: the consequences of their own actions. Will they all survive? No. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Reborn” by Sayer Roberts "Beyond Imagination" by Gavin Luke, Epidemic Sound "The Mist" by Gavin Luke, Epidemic Sound "Played by Ear" by Piper Ezz, Epidemic Sound "One Way …

Guard, your face cracks in half. It seems that everything has gone According To Plan. So much so, that now our heroes must fend off the Smoke Spirit, Ganbald, Demoiselle, hallucinatory visions of death, several weasels, and even the Minehead boys. Will Guard's attempts to negotiate free them from the afterlife with all their friends in tow? Probabl…

"The name's Bruce. I'm uh........... here to fix the pipes?" Everything has to go precisely according to plan. Harisa and Isaac have coerced a myconid into stealing an elderwood berry. Mel and Guard have concocted a scheme to frame that myconid for a greater theft. All to distract Ganbald so that June can sneak in to get access to the ledgers and, …

”Being a god and everything, these things are not worth what you're charging.” In a moment of reprieve, our heroes collect themselves, their thoughts, and a series of artifacts from the world of the living — in that order. It turns out that those forks and bowls and berries might hold the key to distracting Ganbald, accessing Demoiselle, and extrac…

”I think we need to kill the Empressar.” Shaken to their core by a surreal encounter with the Elder God of Death, our heroes regroup — where else — in a bar. Over a few bottles of perilberry wine, they finally come clean. Mel has been conning Ganbald. Harisa has seen Sherwood. Guard has seen Demoiselle. Isaac is done serving the Empressar. But as t…

”Who's out there? No one is supposed to be here!” Moved by brazen curiosity, Harisa has found herself staring down the wrath of an elder god. One by one, each of her allies snap out of their memories and rush to her aid, only to be confronted by eldritch serpents, an inconsolable mourner that can kill with a touch, and Reevesy, who is trying his be…

”It’s about time I got treated the way I should be treated! I’m sick of the way you treat me! I am a god here.” You rarely want to find yourself permanently stuck in the afterlife, no matter how much it resembles a five-star spa resort. However, that’s exactly what has happened. Guard, June, and Mr. Spinx all try to make the best of it while Isaac …

"The farther we get from Rally, the more the... 'mission' fades." The Western Wealds drags on for days as our heroes search for their lost friends — or the god of death, whichever they find first. But as they draw nearer and nearer to the swamp where Sherwood's lute was found, they find themselves going through... changes. Will they be able to find…

"Martin's great. Martin's the best. Martin is competent at his job." The Minehead Boys have been missing for a month, and now Porki has found Sherwood's lute — in a swamp way off course. Now our heroes have to pull together to find their friends and quell the fury of The Guide. But will they find Sherwood in time? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundt…

"...a world we could share with other rebels, other lost children, others who wanted to plant their own flag in life." For the first time, our heroes have taken up arms in defense of Rally. For the first time, Harisa and Scrumpy lie wounded in Oz's infirmary. For the first time, June must confront the inevitability of war. For the first time, Isaac…

"I get a good conversation with this new governor y'all have? Then you can live." Agravar's raid on Rally has not be as... robust as Isaac would have supposed. Something is amiss — and it may present Isaac with his opportunity to sell Agravar some resin. But will all of the denizens of Rally survive to see this plan carried out? Probably not. == CR…

"How do you want to do this — eyes open or closed?" In a former life, Isaac was a Warden; an Agra Warden. So when Agravar decides to send farmers to raid Rally for its resin, Isaac knows at once that something is wrong. Will his plan to parley with Agravar on Rally's terms go ask he expects? Probably not. == CREDITS == Soundtrack “Stronger Rallied”…