Shart Select is an offbeat comedy podcast hosted by podcastings most handsome man, Ryan, and is two homunculi, Stu and Winst0lf. Join them in the bizarre world of the wizardverse as they put the world to rights, have adventures with weird characters and, of course, pester amazing guests!
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This week the boys have quite a lot to discuss, such as where they would position in a human centipede, how many people would you have to 1v1 to be the last human standing and Stu has some incontrovertible proof that the Mandela Effect is real. O3O nuzzle wuzzle!
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Get ready for a wild ride as the lads delve into a mysterious and cursed grimoire that details the tastiest and grossest eats from across the fair British Isles. Spoiler alert: they don't hold back on their opinions, and things get pretty heated! But that's not all, folks! They also explore the fascinating phenomenon of "Mandela Effects," where peo…
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4: The Tragic End of Cheddar George
52:32
52:32
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52:32
This week the boys get a stern telling off from the Wizards for talking about the MCU too much, so they move on to knock off heroes instead after Ryan's trip to Loldi. They also discuss the recipe for the perfect action movie and a beloved podcast character meets an untimely end, lucky Master Phenrig has a plan to hide the corpse!…
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3: Annika Mice and the Spunky Gargoyle Menace
55:10
55:10
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55:10
This week the boys talk about all kinds of hot content, like who is the sexiest cartoon character, how the Godzilla movies changed their tone dramatically, what the funk is going on with superhero movies these days, what’s the latest shit going on in Warzone and, for some reason, Stu and Ryan go off about sexy fruit. Yep, that’s a thing.…
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In this hot episode, the boys deliver some hot real talk to you, the listener! Including the British version of everyone's favourite green, angry bloke and what Captain America really thinks of his superiors. In fact they go on about the MCU a lot, the bloody nerds!
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Welcome to Kidnapped by Wizards, the hot new comedy podcast from the three tools that brought you Shart Select! To get the ball rolling, the boys talk about beloved internet questions and where they fall in these mythical debates, which MCU movie is the worst and why it is Dark World, the ongoing misadventures of Ross Kemp and we also delve into th…
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It's the final ever episode of the Shart Select podcast as you know it (join us for Kidnapped By Wizards, coming soon to a podcast supplier near you!) Don't worry, it wasn't Stu and Ryan's shameful display the week before that did it in, we're just evolving! So why not say bye bye to gaming's weirdest podcast by looking back through the ages at som…
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This week Stu and Ryan are Beefless with him literally tied up with ottoman work at Poundland. They discuss some classic Reddit cringe, the best Marvel fight scenes, some sus World of Warcraft spells, Spider monkeys and making noises when your older Don't miss out on Weekly Bonus episodes of the Drip Tray where we generate Rule 34 stories about you…
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This week the boys are back up to their usual bull at the Wizards Tower. They discuss why Salem is only good thing in Sabrina the Teenage Witch, that Oscars slap, which Greggs treat is the best (in return for hopefully landing a sponsor as usual) and how modern day scrotes are actually "sound lad". Oh, and the Wizards show up to put the listeners t…
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This week has it all going on, as the boys look back in time upon the history of Shart Select, apparently they used to like video games… nerds! They also go off on a massive tangent about cartoons from the 1990s, and how basically all of you are wrong for liking those boring ones with no monsters or robots in where people learn lessons, like bloody…
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This week the boys are all ready to divulge hot secrets from the Star Wars universe that they definitely know about for reals! They also discuss wookie anatomy, the surprisingly stylish secrets of snails, the ineptitude of Inspector Gadget, and we ask Michael Caine (friend of the podcast) how many Batmans are actually buried on the grounds of Wayne…
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Get Off Those Skeleton Nuts!
1:07:12
1:07:12
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1:07:12
This week the boys are joined by Harrison Wild, the lovely host of the Grief Burrito podcast (alongside that other guy). What will they discuss, though? Well there's more Office Guy antics, Ryan reveals the truth of Warehouse Guy, someone reckons they can take a dog in a fight, Ryan really lays on some (awful) chat up lines and what's going on with…
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After several weeks of ignoring the wizard’s faxes, things finally come to a head for the boys, but what do they discuss? Well, what exactly happens in the Wizardverse club “Poundland” (not to be confused with our high street discount friends), a new run-in with the Office Guy, we talk about how reasonable PlayStation fanboys are about Aloy from Ho…
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Shart Select Season 8 Trailer Don't miss out on Weekly Bonus episodes of the Drip Tray where we generate Rule 34 stories about your suggested characters or our Patreons and read them out www.patreon.com/shartselect Join the Discord Server - https://discord.gg/v7cy2WP Twitter @Shartselectpod | Instagram @shartselectpod | Youtube | Merch…
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All Monster, No Sponsorship (Yet?)
1:10:39
1:10:39
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1:10:39
In this excellent episode of everyone’s favourite podcast, the boys get incredibly horny in main while discussing those hench boys and girls. As well as this insanity, they discuss Ray Parker Jr’s shocking confession, Office Guy update is here, and did they finally manage to land that hot sponsorship deal with Monster Energy? (Spolier: no.) Don't m…
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All Apple, No Crumble (Part One) - Sponsored by Monster Energy(?)
1:03:41
1:03:41
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1:03:41
This week the boys stumble across a scandalous conspiracy involving ITV’s golden son, wonder why the world’s gone Sonic mad, the real story behind Die Hard, the worst TV show ever conceived, looked at a gritty Fireman Sam reboot and discover just where Green Daddy has got to recently. We also start ranking the world’s most gorgeous hench bods and d…
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This week the boys are landed with a very special set of missions, just as The Beef accidentally summons coronavirus into himself. They choose which chocolate bars are the GOAT out of a set list, and also judge this years League of Extraordinary Thicc Bois championship, featuring heroes from Apex Legends, Twisted Metal, Marvel and more! Oh, and the…
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Wabbit Season!!! Adonis Season!!!
1:01:52
1:01:52
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1:01:52
Things get a bit horny in main this week as the boys lay it all out on the table! We rank the top sexy rabbits for Dave Cooper, The Beef talks about his new work crush and one of the hosts is a little too quick to talk about which Pokémon would be best in the bedroom (hint, it's not Gardevoire!) We also see the pilot episode for Cumrag's Den, in wh…
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Jack Skellington's Dirty Little Secret
1:08:39
1:08:39
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1:08:39
In this week's hullabalooza of an episode, the boys reveal the Pumpkin King's dirty little secret, find some wholesome goodness in The Book of Boba Fett, use the recent Microsoft acquisition to cast each console company as American High School cliques and, of course, look at Lord Voldemort's obsession with sex toys. All this, and more! Don't miss o…
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The Beef is joined by new hosts Mike Oxlong and Drew Peacock as they look at the latest news, complaints and comedy flashback stories from across the world. Mike takes a deep dive into the weird world of Alphacon, The Book of Boba Fett's thicc pig bois get a mention, Spider-Man: All the Spider Mans gets discussed and why on earth does the USA not l…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 12 Lumbers Jacking
28:55
28:55
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28:55
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!Join The DiscordJoin the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 11 Grapes a Frutin
17:15
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17:15
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!Join The DiscordJoin the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas -10 Timbs a Stompin
18:18
18:18
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18:18
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift! Join The Discord Join the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 9 Dripping Trays
17:37
17:37
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17:37
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift! Join The Discord Join the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 8 Men a Milking
16:52
16:52
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16:52
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!Join The DiscordJoin the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 7 Trips to Poundland
14:36
14:36
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14:36
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!Join The DiscordJoin the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 6 Monster Drinks
15:11
15:11
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15:11
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift! Join The Discord Join the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 5 C*ck Rings
16:12
16:12
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16:12
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift! Join The Discord Join the Patreon…
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12 Days of Shartmas - 4 Tractors Pulling
9:58
9:58
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9:58
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift! Join The Discord Join the Patreon…
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Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
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12 Days of Shartmas - 2 Greedy Nigels
12:00
12:00
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12:00
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
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12 Days of Shartmas - And the wizards in a tower!
11:37
11:37
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11:37
Roll up, one and all, for the 12 days of Shartmas! This is no ordinary Christmas countdown, as the boys line up an episode every two days for your enjoyment! Full of stories, discussion and wizardverse characters, you'd be insane not to check out this extra special gift!
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The Milkadook and Other Such Bulls**t
1:19:34
1:19:34
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1:19:34
Craig rejoins the boys after suffering a suspect back injury this week, and much is discussed, including Stu's fear of the milkman, the fact we got noticed by Poundland (the high street store, not the nightclub) and, thanks to listener ItemshopDX, are prompted to discuss all kinds of bulls**t. They might also have wound up PIXI and Grief Burrito ag…
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Ross is the Best Friend, Don't @ Me
1:21:47
1:21:47
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1:21:47
This week the boys are back in session after an unexpected detention ruins their plans. In this hot slice of podcastery they discuss the sexiest Man alive (Ryan), the worst police pursuit vehicles, Ryan is now the Fast and the Furious and, to everyone's joy, Professor Ryance returns! Also, Craig was voted to be the best Friend, Ross Gellar! Thanks …
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This week the boys discuss many important things on the pod, such as the fact that Supercar Nigel is more famous than them, the Switch getting games from a hot new console, they fish for some hot new sponsors and, in what turns out to be a very heated battle, discuss which character from Friends they most represent! Also discussed are healthy yet i…
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Ryan and the Red Ring of Death
1:21:24
1:21:24
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1:21:24
This week the boys are joined by Steph to discuss the levels of anger, the worst place to "Hulk Out", and the difference between PlayStation and Xbox gamers. We also visit the Wizards and Professor Imgonnacumm, who has been summoned by a mysterious figure, they're INSIDE THE ROOM!
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The boys are all at odds this week, as the wizards have thrust them straight into recording an episode after returning to Cockwarts! This week they discuss all of the world’s most pressing concerns, such as the really expensive Fortnite clothes, what their Chaser names would be, our real feelings on Bonfire Night, just what is the “Sad Little Train…
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In this week's episode the Wizards push their luck a little too far in their quest for the ultimate gains, resulting in the boys being stranded and, of course, having to record another cursed episode. Why not pass the time with them as they show IGN how to really work out the greatest game of all time? Will it be Kratos, The god of war? The last of…
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The Greatest Biscuit of All Time?
1:14:10
1:14:10
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1:14:10
Disaster strikes this week, as the hosts of Grief Burrito and PIXI Podcast kidnap Stu, following last week's controversial episode! In his (hopefully not permanent) absence, Craig and Ryan tackle a seriously thorny subject… what IS the best biscuit? It's full of facts, information and, yes, biscuit ASMR.…
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The Greatest Game of all Time?
1:17:51
1:17:51
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1:17:51
This week the boys take a look at a somewhat controversial game tiering list from that bastion of gaming integrity, IGN, which definitely hasn’t missed out some classic games to fit their own narrative, oh no!. They also look into the secret Terminator subplot of Coronation Street, what those fucking meerkats have been up to, and the Fight Club-esq…
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This week the boys accidentally summon an avatar of cheese whilst discussing Logan Paul's simp, Copper Cab being a shill, Stu's thoughts on hand sanitiser, Craig's drag name, a time traveller from a distant era and Ryan's hot thirst trap photo. We are definitely not that guy!
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Whaaaat Stu's back? Didn't he leave to make his own podcast about online shooters? Anyway, this week the boys talk about all kinds of weird and wonderful things, including that bloody “be a man” thing he was on about when it all went wrong! We also look the Uruk Hai’s side hustle in sex toys, discuss which podcast hosts would most likely be the Gho…
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In this week's hawt slice of podcastery, we are joined by Grief Burrito's Most Beautiful Boy (sorry Jordan) Mr Harrison Wild! We talk about Jurassic Park, paragliding with famous movie stars, the new Gremlins 3 plot, and what is the best game soundtrack (again!) So pull up a pew and let's see what's going down!…
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This week the boys delve into Ryan's weird noir detective dream, a strange visit to a battery powered pharmacy, the social distance skeleton, and what are the rent prices like in Gotham City? We also cast suspicion over Bull and Skillo from the Power Rangers and you won't believe the amazing content Stu saves for the end!…
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Join us for another hot episode, in which we discuss the most important wizarding event on the calendar, how shit Castle Greyskull is, annoying chummy tires and what happened when Jeff Bezos arrived at the Wizard's space station! It's a rollicking good lark!
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What happens when it's really bloody hot, and the boys haven't drank enough water before recording? The answer: a load of old cobblers! We visit the Star Wars gym, talk about the inventors of the screwdriver, the horrors of loyalty free music, Facebook cringe and, of course, we reveal Craig's ongoing love of Timbs……
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A Traffic Jam of Owen Wilsons
1:14:02
1:14:02
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1:14:02
On this exciting edition, the boys talk about a new take on The Lion King, new characters for Beauty and the Beast, and why does that woman on the job advert act so bloody stupid all the time? Also, how do you effectively embellish a good old fashioned fart? Why not have a listen and find out?
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This week the boys get very cross about TikTok food idiots and daytime TV, and wonder if J Jonah Jameson lusts after… very specific photos of the Spider-Man. Also, the truth about David Dickinson is discovered and we learn a horrifying truth about Johnny Five. Also, Ryan educates is about those ghost twin blokes from the Matrix!…
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In this dollop of goodness, we discuss the phallacy of fanboys, the inventor of the double decker bus and, of course, Ryan takes us down to the Condiment Corner, where we discuss the Sauce Readily Available rating of god's finest condiments. Why not splurge us all over your dinner?
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Ryan's out in space with Gagrid this week leaving Craig and Stu unsupervised, and so a lot of strange talk is had. Join us to learn about which famous people have a dog's appendage, which mascots would be in the Avengers and five into the world of Bigfoot Fursonas with Jeff and Clifford...
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