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Reconnected Marriage Partners | Communicate Effectively, Sexual Intimacy, Expectations, Quality Time, Resolving Conflicts
Dr. Ebun and David Haastrup | Christian Marriage Coaches & Couple Connection Strategists
Are you feeling distant from your spouse while running a household away from your support system? Do you have a longing desire to feel heard, understood & valued but can’t seem to get through to your spouse? Do you wish you spent more time connecting with your spouse instead of engaging in arguments or misunderstandings that drain your energy? If you can relate, you’re not alone. Building a thriving marriage in these modern times takes hard work. When you add the responsibilities and demands ...
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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy
Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Coaches
***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and y ...
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70 | Straight Talk: A Candid Revisit Of Our Most Popular Episode
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September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes. Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity fueled by pornograph…
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EP 120 \\ Want To Prevent Conflicts From Escalating? Here are 3 Communication Mistakes to Avoid In Your Marriage
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Hi friend, Have you ever wondered or been curious about how to improve communication in your marriage? If so, you're not alone. One of the ways we have strengthened our marriage and grown together as a team has involved communicating better with each other. The way we communicate or the manner in which we communicate with our spouses can either str…
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69 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #5 Spiritual Leadership
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Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course! Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably. Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual h…
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EP 119 \\ This ONE Thing Could Be Hindering You From Building A Stronger Connection In Your Marriage
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15:47
Hi friend! It is no longer news that building a thriving marriage takes hard work. When we think about investing in our marriages, what often comes to mind are actionable tips to deepen connection, grow stronger in marriage and stay connected as a couple. But over the years, we’ve realized that sometimes, in order to achieve the deeper connection a…
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68 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #4 Emotional Maturity
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Wives, are you trying to communicate your feelings to your husband and somehow it always ends up being about him. Are just not feeling seen, heard and validated? Men, is your wife explaining to you how she feels or coming at you with big emotions and you find yourself at a loss of how to respond? This can happen in any marriage, but when sexual bet…
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EP 118 \\ Ditching the Comparison Trap: How To Stop Comparisonitis For A More Connected Marriage (Part 2)
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Hi friend! We live in a global village. We don’t have to live in the same neighborhood to know about the life of another person living in another neighborhood on another continent. Enter the world of technology & the internet. A world where you see beautiful pictures and videos of couples and individuals... Depending on the current state of your ma…
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67 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #3 Keep Your Promises
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How much do you value keeping your word? And how does it make you feel when someone doesn't keep their word? For a betrayed wife, it becomes even more important that her recovering husband keep his word. This new display of reliability provides the safety and security that she desperately needs in a time of confusion and broken trust. When he makes…
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EP 117 \\ Wish Your Spouse Were Like Someone Else? Why You Should STOP Engaging In Comparisonitis (Part 1)
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Hi friend! We live in a global village. We don’t have to live in the same neighborhood to know about the life of another person living in another neighborhood on another continent. Enter the world of technology & the internet. A world where you see beautiful pictures and videos of couples and individuals... Depending on the current state of your ma…
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66 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her
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We all have priorities, whether we make them intentionally or they exist by default. At times our priorities can be misguided and cause pain for ourselves and for others. We also understand that priorities are important and it’s necessary to have them in the right order. And for a betrayed wife, it’s imperative to know that she is a priority to her…
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EP 116 \\ STOP Waiting For Your Spouse To Reconnect In Your Marriage! Do THIS Instead.
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Hi friend! We often hear that it takes two committed individuals to make a marriage work but what if we told you that it takes one courageous spouse willing to make the move towards progress to begin this process. Being a courageous spouse means choosing to partner with God and making courageous moves needed for a more loving & connected marriage…e…
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65 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #1 See Her Pain
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Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs. However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on …
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EP 115 \\ 5 Reasons Why Your Spouse Is Avoiding Having Meaningful Conversations With You (And What To Do About Them)
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Hi friend! In the early years of marriage, engaging in meaningful conversations with our spouses boosts connection and draws us closer to each other. Over the years, these conversations can begin to fade, especially when most of our communication become centered around the running of the household, activities the kids have to attend and other funct…
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64 | 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series)
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Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage? Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your…
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EP 114 \\ Is It Your Spouse or Stress? How a Simple Self-care Routine Can Benefit Your Marriage...Even As a Busy Couple Living Abroad
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Hi friend! Have you ever been stressed, struggled to concentrate… been less patient with your spouse and your kids? Are you feeling tense, frustrated, and upset at things that would normally not make you feel upset? Then, you may need a particular kind of care: Self-Care. As a couple, and especially parents living abroad, when our schedules are fil…
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63 | Got Porn Brain? What It Is and How It Affects You and Your Marriage
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It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brai…
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EP 113 \\ Is It Wrong To Express Myself Or Communicate My Thoughts To My Spouse?
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Hi friend! Does this sound familiar? You don’t like sweeping things under the carpet. This means that when an issue arises in your marriage, you like to resolve it and settle the issue as quickly as possible. However, you've noticed that when you try to express yourself or communicate your thoughts to your spouse, it seems like your spouse does not…
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62 | Social Media Hack Triggers Trauma From Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way... We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9 Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked…
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EP 112 \\ How You Can Invest in Yourself To Significantly Impact Your Marriage & Life (Anniversary Giveaway Inside!)
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Hi friend!**Anniversary Giveaway sign up details below** Guess what! It is our 14th year wedding anniversary week and we are so glad for how far God has seen us through on this journey. You see…to be honest, it has not been all rosy. We’ve faced challenges and transitions over the course of the years and we are happy that we are still here together…
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61 | Is Joy Possible After Sexual Betrayal?
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After discovering your spouse had betrayed you sexually, what was your initial reaction? We bet it wasn’t joy. We know that there are many volatile emotions that come on the heels of that shocking and devastating news - among them pain, anger, and confusion. As you try to make sense of the senseless in your new unwanted reality, you may find yourse…
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EP 111 \\ My Wife Is Not Taking Our Sex Life Seriously. HELP!
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Hi friend! Do you love your wife but you’re feeling frustrated about your married sex life? Or perhaps when it comes to sex, it seems to be a major source of conflict in your marriage? You wish to experience more physical connection with your spouse and increase sexual intimacy in your marriage so you can feel closer to your wife but it seems like …
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60 | The High Cost of Freedom in a Sexually Betrayed Marriage
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Many of us have heard the phrase “Freedom Isn’t Free” and if you have not heard it, you likely understand the idea behind it knowing that in order to gain freedom of any kind some form of sacrifice needs to be made. And sacrifices are not called sacrifices because they are easy. Are you feeling like you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of anger, …
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EP 110 \\ 3 Simple "Easily Overlooked" Ways To Grow Closer In Your Marriage This Summer...Without Waiting For A Couples Getaway!
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Hi friend! Summer is here and people are camping, getting away to exotic places, traveling and so on. Maybe you've discovered that going on a couples getaway is not one of your plans this summer but you also want to strengthen the bond and connection in your marriage. Guess what! You don't necessarily need to get away to achieve the deeper connecti…
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59 | Is It Over? Take These 5 Steps to Save Your Marriage After Adultery
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The day you never imagined you’d ever live to see has come and gone; D-Day. You have discovered sexual betrayal in your marriage. Whether you found out or your spouse confessed, you can’t believe that this has happened. You may be asking yourself, Is my marriage over? Is it worth saving? Is it possible to move forward? Today we are going to answer …
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EP 109 \\ How To Get Your Spouse To Pay Attention To You Without Starting An Argument
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Hi friend! As spouses and individuals, we want to feel seen in our marriages. When it seems like our spouses are not paying attention to us the way we desire, or feel like we’re being taken for granted, disconnection and loneliness could begin to build up in marriage. The reality is that you may be doing things together and running a household but …
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58 | Purpose from Pain. Did Sexual Betrayal Destroy God’s Plan for Your Marriage?
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Do you ever stop and wonder why? Why did this happen? Have you lamented, “Can anything good ever come of it?” When the discovery of sexual betrayal threatens to destroy your marriage, you may think you won’t survive it. Then, if you have made the choice to stay and do the hard work of recovery, you start to see God working in your life and marriage…
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EP 108 \\ Feeling disappointed? How to deal with unmet expectations in marriage..even if it's not the first time!
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Hi friend! When we get married and over the years, we have certain expectations in marriage. However, when these expectations are not met in marriage or our spouses do not meet these expectations, we can feel disappointed. We've come to realize that the way we deal with unmet expectations in our marriages can either draw us farther apart from our p…
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57 | Alone No More: How Isolation Fuels Sex-Addiction and How to Defeat It
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What is isolation, and where does it truly begin? Imagine a lone animal in the wild, separated from its herd. We've all seen those heart-wrenching documentary scenes where isolation turns them into easy prey. Nature's example is a powerful reminder of a harsh reality: when we isolate ourselves from our community, we become vulnerable to the schemes…
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EP 107 \\ Spouse Not Listening? 2 Mistakes You May Be Making While Communicating In Your Marriage!
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Hi friend! Over the years, we've come to realize that though we love each other, when conflict occurs or when we want to express ourselves to our partners, we may end up creating more distance between us instead of feeling heard in the process. One reason for this could be as a result of how we communicate our concerns or express our frustrations w…
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56 | Identifying Sex Addiction: Take the First Step Today
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As a recovering sex-addict, I now find comfort in knowing that my addiction was real and that there is hope through recovery that I will not have to live the rest of my life as a “dis-integrated” man, always trying to hide myself from others based on a lie that if they really knew what I was doing, they would reject me. But I didn’t always understa…
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EP 106 \\ Struggling With Your Mental Health? Here Is A Special Letter & Message For You
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Hi friend! Are you struggling with your mental health during this season of your life? Are you feeling overwhelmed by mental health challenges at this point in time? Does this sound familiar? You find yourself in a place you really don’t want to be… It feels like a battle is taking place… Not around you… not on the outside… but right on the inside.…
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55 | Our Podcast is One Year Old!!! Marriages Redeemed, Hearts Renewed
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Have you ever felt like God was nudging you towards something challenging in life? Maybe a call to step out of your comfort zone and venture into the unknown. It can be intimidating, right? Would you be willing to take that leap of faith and trust that God has your best interests at heart, even when the path ahead seems uncertain? If you have taken…
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EP 105 \\ Staying connected as a couple while dealing with the challenges in life
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Hi friend! When we look at the state of the economy, rising interest rates, high cost of living, or when we encounter personal challenges like job loss or health issues...the list can go on and on, discouragement could begin to set in and cause a disconnect in marriages. How we respond to these challenges can either strengthen our marriages or resu…
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54 | Betrayed Wives Experience Profound Loss, But Do Cheating Husbands?
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Does a cheating husband who has chosen the path of repentance and recovery experience any losses? The short answer is yes. But it may not be evident to a betrayed wife, especially when stacked up against her seemingly infinite losses. She may not see many tangible losses or consequences for his infidelity. Today, we are going to outline some percei…
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EP 104 \\ Building a Thriving Marriage While Caring for Children With Disabilities with Kristin & Todd Evans
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Hi friend! Building a strong and thriving marriage takes hard work. Now, adding a child makes it feel even more challenging. For married couples caring for a child or children with disabilities, a thriving marriage can seem impossible. Research has shown that these couples face unique and intense stressors and are at increased risk for divorce. The…
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53 | 4 Ways To Help a Friend Experiencing Sexual Betrayal
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One of our listeners wrote in to ask a question about how to help her friend who is going through the pain of sexual betrayal. First, we just want to say how grateful we are for those of you who take time to write us and share what’s on your heart. We love to get questions that we can answer from our experience. Please keep them coming! Today we wi…
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EP 103 \\ Are Parents Causing Disconnection In Your Marriage? 3 Questions To Ask To Find Out (And What To Do About It)
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Hi friend! Disconnection in marriage can occur for various reasons. One of them could be as a result of our other important or close relationships. What if there was one relationship that could be hurting your marriage and affecting your connection with your spouse? What if this involved the relationship with your parents? Want to know more? In thi…
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52 | What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity?
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After betrayal, big emotions are a reality. When expressed well and received well, they can be a catalyst for healing and growth. Today we will be talking about big emotions, what they are and how to handle them properly. We will also give you insight to the benefits of working through big emotions together to promote connection and intimacy. We’re…
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EP 102 \\ STOP Avoiding Conflict In Your Marriage. Try These 3 Hacks Instead! (Part 2)
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Hi friend! Are you tired of avoiding conflict or engaging in conflict avoidance in your marriage, an action that further creates distance between you and your spouse? Are you struggling to have that difficult conversation with your spouse? If so, this episode is for you. Get ready to discover 3 hacks to try instead of avoiding conflict in your marr…
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51 | Full Therapeutic Disclosure: 3 Steps to Healing and Freedom After Sexual Betrayal
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My betrayed sisters, if you were given the opportunity to learn the truth about your spouse’s sexual betrayal, would you take it? My fellow betrayers, if there was a safe and judgement free environment where you could get all your secrets out and alleviate your burden of shame, would you go for it? Would you both be willing to do all it takes to re…
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EP 101 \\ STOP Avoiding Conflict In Your Marriage. Here Are 3 Reasons Why (Part 1)
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Hi friend! Are you avoiding a difficult conversation with your spouse because you want to avoid conflict? Maybe you don’t like conflicts and would rather zone out or tune off or walk away or avoid that difficult conversation. Facing conflicts may feel uncomfortable, so engaging in conflict avoidance may seem like the safer route to take or is it? W…
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50 | Are You Thriving or Just Surviving in Marriage After Sexual Betrayal
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Is your marriage thriving after sexual betrayal? Maybe not. Maybe you are just surviving. You might just be at the beginning of the journey to healing and still don’t even know if you want to stay married. Maybe you and your spouse have been working hard on recovering from this devastation, but you aren’t really connecting in a fulfilling way yet. …
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EP 100 \\ Starting a Marriage Podcast and The Journey To The 100th Episode + GIVEAWAY!!!
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Hi friend! Guess what? You are about to listen to the 100th Episode on the show! It has been a journey, and we can't wait to share about how it all began...starting a marriage podcast, the journey to the 100th episode and one more thing. In celebration of our 100th episode anniversary, you have a chance to win one of 5 giveaways! Curious to know mo…
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49 | Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity
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Wives, has your husband stopped his acting out behavior and is even showing some behaviors that you appreciate, but you still feel like he isn’t a changed man? Do you still feel the distance between you? Like he doesn’t really see you? Husbands, are you doing all the things your wife has requested and feel like you are moving forward in recovery, b…
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EP 99 \\ Going Through A Rough Season In Life? Don't Give Up!
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Hi friend! We are in a broken world, a world that is filled with challenges and sufferings. We have come to realize that we all need each other and we need to encourage one another. If you feel like you're going through a tough or difficult season in your life and marriage and you feel like almost giving up, we hope this episode encourages you. Sen…
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48 | Closing the Gap - 3 Steps to Sexual Intimacy
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Have you been on the healing journey after sexual betrayal and you and your spouse are ready to level up? Do you want to experience more true intimacy? Today we will be talking about 3 simple steps to take that are not easy because it will involve some risk. But, if you are looking for intimacy that goes far beyond anything that our world has to of…
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EP 98 \\ Want to Improve Your Connection With Your Wife? Embrace these 3 Leadership Types
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Hi friend! If you’re a husband who desires to enjoy a deeper connection with his wife while also honouring God in your marriage, then this episode is for you. In this episode, I will be talking about leadership in the home, a debated topic in these modern times. Get ready to discover 3 types of leadership to embrace as a husband to improve the conn…
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47| Sexual Intimacy with a Recovering Sex Addict in Marriage
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Hopefully you’ve heard both sides of our sexual intimacy story, or lack thereof, in episodes 45 and 46. If not, we encourage you to listen to those to gain a better understanding of how we got to the place where our broken marriage got new life after God intervened and recovery began. Now, we share a wonderfully intimate sexual life together, but i…
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EP 97 \\ Married Men & Women Raising A Family Abroad! We Want To Hear From You
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4:06
Hi friend! We want to hear from you (email: coach@happymarriedfamily.com ). If you are a Christian man or woman who is married and has been raising a family abroad for years, or have just relocated to a new country or province with your family, we would love to get on a quick 10-15 mins zoom call over the next few days to learn more about your expe…
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46 | Sexuality as a Sex-Addict in Marriage
35:19
35:19
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Gillad
35:19
Men, do you have a secret relationship with pornography and/or others outside of your marriage? Are you consumed by your thought life and hiding things from your wife that you don’t want her to know? Is sex with your wife becoming challenging, difficult, or just too much effort? Do you feel misunderstood? Are you afraid that if she knew everything …
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EP 96 \\ Here is one FIVE-LETTER word that can save your marriage!
13:20
13:20
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Gillad
13:20
Hi friend! Are you in a tough season in your marriage where it seems like you are struggling to get through to your spouse? Do you desire to reconnect with your spouse? In this episode, you will discover one five-letter word that has benefited our marriage in amazing ways. For example, it has helped prevent conflicts from escalating & unnecessary c…
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