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The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

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I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that eight years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question. You’ll also hear “You Get the ...
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You Only Die Once, written by positive psychologist Jodi Wellman, has this very important message - being aware of your last moment can help you live this one more fully. She's a devout believer in not wasting the time you have, not spending this moment in dread or apathy. Statistically speaking, we're given four thousand Mondays in our lifetime to…
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Today we’re going to talk about loneliness – and how one article I read drew some conclusions about it that made a lot of sense to me. One major point – we can’t or shouldn’t harken back to older times and think we need to create those now. That’s not the answer. Cell phones, virtual meetings or classes, working from home, pandemic hangover – none …
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We're announcing a new CBT app, the Feeling Great App! ! It's founded by one of the forefathers of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, David Burns MD. He's a renowned psychiatrist, and as we learn in this episode, a doctor who fought the odds to create a technique to treat depression that actually worked. Dr. Burns is the best-selling author of the books F…
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What are the gifts of saying no? The word that’s often used to talk about this is ‘boundary.’ Do you have trouble saying no? Or can you identify the how, when, where, and why to say no? Or put another way, when to say yes? We’ll focus on how much of your decision-making is affected by depression or anxiety, or even personality disorders that have a…
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Acknowledging emotional abuse can be difficult but it's just as much "abuse" as its physical and sexual counterparts. I received an email recently that again brought to life the emotional cruelty that can be the reality of some children. In fact, his story reminded me of many others I’ve heard – of how someone in authority can be not just manipulat…
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In this episode we learn exactly how couples therapy began. When you’re called “the couple from hell” by your own therapist, that’s something to think about. But Harville Hendrix and his wife of several decades, Helen Hunt, took that all in stride. They're the authors of the book “Getting the Love You Want” which sold millions of copies and put the…
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Today we’re going to talk about how to manage your emotions. Sometimes you might feel as though you can’t feel anything, other times that you feel too much and your emotions are leading you to the choices you’re making. Or you can feel that you’re stuck in a feeling – or you’re portraying an emotion to others that perhaps you don’t recognize or mea…
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Today I'm answering your questions about depression, therapy, and manipulative moms. So, it's a grab bag of topics! Whether you're a SelfWork listener or you've read something I've written... somehow my work has reached you. And I love getting your questions! More specifically, we'll discuss what's called anhedonia in depression, or losing the enjo…
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This special episode of SelfWork will guide you to step into your inner power as we talk with author and personal branding expert... Jessica Zweig. I usually don’t have spiritual authors or leaders on SelfWork – not because I don’t believe in the importance of spirituality – but I’ve always kept my own spiritual beliefs more private from my work. T…
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Do you know what hormonal replacement therapy is? Today's SelfWork guest is Donna White, an expert in bio-identical hormone replacement therapy. She's the recent author of "Hormone Makeover" and has also built an academy, The Bio-Identical Replacement Therapy Academy, that trains medical practitioners from all over the world about effective hormone…
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Today we’re going to talk all about blame. If you're one of the people who blame easily, if you find fault with everyone but yourself, then that's a huge problem. Or if you're in a relationship with someone who rarely if ever takes responsibility, they could be suffering with one of the Cluster B personality disorders, such as borderline or narciss…
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Today our focus is all about the safe psychedelic use of ketamine. And Dr. Steven Radowitz will be answering my questions. Sadly, the news of Matthew Perry’s autopsy report broke recently and revealed the absolute unethical behavior of the doctors responsible for prescribing ketamine for him. As the story evolves, in case it’s helpful, we wanted to…
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Today I want to talk about how to find your purpose. One of the things I’ve been most grateful for in my life has been the sense of purpose that my work and my family have given me. And yet I know that many people don’t know what their sense of purpose is. I’m going to hope this episode helps you begin to find your purpose. The mantra of SelfWork i…
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Today's topic is on the incredible power of journaling. My communications manager, friend, and "auxiliary brain" - Christine Mathias - has chosen this week's Second Time Around episode. Here's a quick introduction! I was caught off guard the other day when in my FaceBook group, I asked them to journal about a specific topic, and someone wrote that …
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Do you know how to really listen? Well... you can learn. I'm out on vacation this week and my friend and incredible audio engineer John Crowley takes over the host spot, as he picks one of his favorite episodes from previous years. And this one is truly out of the distant past! Only the eighth episode I ever recorded. Wow, listening to it brought b…
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Today we're going to talk about suicide in construction in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. Dr. Vince Hafeli, a husband, father, and construction guy, tells his very personal story of becoming suicidal and choosing to come forward to talk about healing. Vince has been a leader in the construction industry for well over 30 years; his 2023 TEDx ear…
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What's a good enough parent? There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology researcher named Winnicott. When he was writing (decades ago...), mothers were blamed for everything - even autism was caused by a "refrigerator mom." Winnicott came along and let moms off the hook a little bit, saying that their c…
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Today’s we’re going to focus on emotional detachment and distancing. I'll explain what it is and when it's healthy - and maybe even necessary - to do just that. I'm also going to bring forward a harsh criticism of a blogpost on unconditional love that I wrote years ago, after having the experience with parents and adult children needing to distance…
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Today we’re focusing on the tools necessary to help you listen and "how to be there” for someone else. We'll discuss what it’s like to listen to the stories of those who trust you to create a safe space for them to talk – and what it means to “be there” for someone. What it’s like to hear things that are very hard to hear. And what it’s like to car…
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How would you answer the question, "How's your mental health?' If you watched the Olympics, you saw Simone Biles not only succeed wildly, but demonstrate to all the world how important maintaining her mental health has been to her. She talked openly about regular therapy sessions and the meditation practice that you could see her doing between comp…
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How do you grieve a parent's death? Even older adults have told me they feel "orphaned" after both of their parents die. So imagine what can happen when a parent dies when a child is young. There are all kinds of reasons for that child to feel as if their life will never be the same - that the loss makes it impossible to recover their innocence or …
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Perspective is a gift. But most of us gain our perspective from years of living and learning. Life often hands us challenges that build that perspective and that wisdom. But not too many people have two catastrophic medical conditions to cope with – and certainly not two that occurred in the span of a decade. Lindsey Roy had just that. At age 31, L…
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You have to acknowledge your depression in order to begin to talk about it. That may sound simple to do. But it's not quite so simple. Why? Because nobody particularly wants to realize or admit that your way of "being" has changed, without you trying to change it. And in fact, you may have become so accustomed to being somewhat depressed, that it c…
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How do you thrive with anxiety? Dr. David Rosemarin is our guest today who talks specifically about how to understand your anxiety as something that can help you thrive - when you work with it, and not against it. David is the director of the Spirituality and Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital. And he's an associate professor of psychology in…
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Today we're focusing on the lasting impact of trauma. Many of us are quite good - or efficient is perhaps a better word – at avoiding and denying and building a façade that’s rock solid around you… that no one would guess that trauma had every occurred in your life. Or how it could be affecting you now. I have a story for you that will illustrate h…
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