Good eeeeeeeevening! Welcome to our latest series: “I Vant to Vatch Your Feelm”, a series devoted to das Vampir, no, dammit, the Vampyre, no, that can’t be right . . . VAMPIRES. Got it? That’s the spelling and that’s what we’re calling them. Vampires appear in many, many cultures in many different forms and in NONE of the cultures that matter do th…

I guess we could see this coming, as we close out our “Directors in Short Pants” series with Sam Raimi’s first work, “The Evil Dead”: Mike and I have been transformed into a pair of eldritch horrors from beyond time and space. Dang it, this is REALLY inconvenient right now. As far as I can tell, I am now Yog Maxoth, the Lint Ball at the Center of t…

Hear Max, Mike; Movies With “Directors in Short Pants.” Kurosawa’s first. Our thoughts on movies Flow like a winding river. Bumpy drowns in it. Two haikus, attributed to Yotta Bakamono Poll question: What is your favorite martial arts movie? Boxing counts! Comment below or call our Butt-Kicking Hotline and leave a voicemail! 617-398-7266…

[dramatic music] Good evening! Welcome to a special edition of Max, Mike; News in another in our continuing expose: “Directors in Short Pants.” Tonight, our subject is: “it.” Just what is “it”? How is “it” effecting our children? Is “it” currently illegal? Should “it” be legalized? How does “it” effect our economy? Is “it” in your very neighborhood…

We are trundling along through our “Directors in Short Pants” series! This week, our contestant (contestant?!) is Robert Rodriguez; you may know him as the director of the beloved children’s movie series “Spy Kids” (who else could get Ricardo Montalban and Sylvester Stallone in the same scene?!) or you may know him as the creator of such massively …

Were you born in a cross-fire hurricane? Did you or any member of your family howl at your ma in the driving rain? Have you been crowned with a spike right through your head? If so, you may be entitled to compensation. Here at the law firm of Max, Mike, & Bumpy, we can help you get the payment you deserve for your difficulties. Others may tell you …

This week we plunge along in the mysterious wilderness that is “Directors in Short Pants” with the directorial debut of Sofia “Please Don’t Make Me Act Anymore, Dad!” Coppola. Her freshman effort was “The Virgin Suicides,” perhaps not as popular as some of her later films but one that certainly got talked about. Honestly, it’s kind of hard to come …

Woowww, it’s another episode of “Directors in Short Pants” again, that’s wild. We’re checking out Wes Anderson’s first effort, “Bottle Rocket.” While this movie is devoid of weird prop shots, the sounds of typewriters, twee costumes, and has a profound lack of either Bill Murray or Tilda Swinton, please believe me when I tell you that this is certa…

Sharks. Fascinating. Terrifying. Humanity has long been fascinated by these ancient predators that come in so many forms. They’ve even earned their own Week on National Geographic! There are Ghost Sharks that terrify, there are Mega Sharks that devour, there are 6-Headed Sharks that have trouble sharing, there are Ouija Sharks that are just confusi…

Flickering dizzying hypnotic light. The director reaches out to snare your eyes, your mind, your heart. First time. The director despoils the virgin film with his demands. Light and shadows dance. Up is down. Right is wrong. Whatever the director says is truth for those few minutes in a dark theater. Gum clings to your shoe. The film clings to your…

We’re plunging ahead with our series “Directors in Short Pants” with Robert Eggers’ first egg-fort (I’m sorry; I’ll leave quietly) “The Witch.” What’s that? You’ve never seen this movie? Well, you must be A WITCH! A WITCH! BURN THEM! BURRRRNNN THEEMMMMMM! *ahem* Anyway, you can clearly see the themes and tropes that Eggers uses throughout his just-…

Yeah, hi, so, y’know, I guess we’re doing a new series, or whatever. Something about famous directors, right, and their first-ever full-length movies and stuff. Or whatever. “Directors in Short Pants” or something, I dunno, none of it really matters. Everything’s set against us, right? It’s all big plots by alien Freemasons and junk, right? So what…

Sweet Aunt Petunia’s plaid knickers! It’s another in our series “Summer Blockbusters and Summer Not”! And guess what, True Believers (and False Deniers, for that matter), we’re checking out the fourth (or fifth, depending on how you count them) iteration of Marvel’s First Family, The Fantastic Four! Roger Corman set the bar pretty high, I know, but…

We have finally come to the end of our “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” series with 1990’s “Tremors,” the terrifying story of what life would be like with giant underground monsters boring through the earth below us and *rumble* OH GOD NO! IT’S A GRABOID! IT HAS TO BE! WE’RE ALL DOOMED! IF ONLY . . . oh, hang on, that was the icemaker switching on. Hoo. T…

Look! Up on the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a frog! (A frog?!) It’s another remake of “Sooperdooperman”, this time from James “Tommy” Gunn (that’s what I call him, ‘cause we’re best friends and I totally know him in real life and I’m not just talking about a stuffed penguin that I named James “Tommy” Gunn at all I don’t know why you would …

Moms! Dads! Are your kids bored with their plain old dinosaurs? Are they no longer excited by uninteresting Velociraptors and bland, predictable Compsognathus? Are tired of their sad, lonely faces and want another chance to buy the love and respect of your offspring? Then come on down to Max and Mike’s Jurassic World! You want dinosaurs? We got din…

Hello. This week on the Max, Mike; Movies series “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” we’re going to be discussing “Monsters.” What truly is a monster? It can be a mania, a mash, or even a truck. And yes, it can also be a giant, extra-natural being that can, simply due to its basic nature, cause a certain amount of distress to property and people. Yes, a “mon…

Well, well, well, Mr. Bumpy. You’ve been a busy little pony, haven’t you? I do hope the restraints aren’t too uncomfortable. No doubt you came here expecting another giant monster movie . . . but sadly, the plans have been changed. A-heh heh heh . . . oh, do pardon the dry chuckle but the look on your face. . . . You tried so hard, didn’t you? Well…

You know what really chaps my nose? Teenagers! Them dang kids, always riding their jalopies around at crazy speeds, like thirty miles per hour . . . swinging those indecent hula-hoops around . . . listening to that devil’s Big Band music . . . well, for this week’s episode of “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” we’re talking about one of the great unsung her…

You know who we don’t talk about enough on this podcast? Vin Diesel. Yes, that big bald heap of a man has given us some truly awe-inspiring performances, and some epic line-reads. So, on this week’s episode of “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” we are going to correct this tragic error with a show about “The Iron Giant.” While Vin-vin may only deliver aroun…

Well, if we’re doing “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” as a series, there is no way we can ignore the King of Monsters, Godzilla (or Gojira, if you’re a purist). Godzilla: seventy years of squashing Tokyo under his belt and he shows no signs of slowing down. But which movie to choose? There are so many, both Japanese and American. Wow, this is tough . . . …

When Mike said he was choosing a movie about a troll for this week’s episode of “Oh No! A Giant Monster!”, I naturally assumed he would make the obvious choice of an animated classic. No, not those silly “Trolls” movies with Anna Kendrick and Justin Timberland or whatever his name is; those are just colorful jukebox movies that I guess SOME people …

This week’s entry in our series “Oh No! A Giant Monster!” asks the question “Just what makes that little old ant/Think he’ll move that rubber tree plant/Everyone knows an ant/Can’t/Move a rubber tree plant.” BUT what if that selfsame ant is mutated by the magic that is 1950’s radiation into a GIANT ant? You don’t think he could smack around all the…

Welcome to a brand new, city-crushing series! We here at Max, Mike; Movies like to be larger-than-life so we’re trying to come up with some larger-than-life ideas for AHHHHH! A GIANT MONSTER IS ATTACKING THE CITY!! Ohhhhhh! Is it the judgment of the gods? Is it a metaphor for nuclear destruction? Perhaps it is the friend of all children! Hmmm, one …

Oi! We’re so done with our f-ing series “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: the ReBelievening”! And we’re closing it out with some serious PUNK ACTION! “Repo Man”! Yeah! Because Mike and I are totally punk! Look, Mike’s got a safety-pin stuck through his shirt collar in place of a button! How punk is that?! Me, I’m refusing to repair this sma…

Good eeeeevening. Ve bid you velcome to our humble series “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: the ReBelievening”. We are your vun! Two! Two hosts! AH AH AH AH! {THUNDERCLAP}, Count Max and Just-Learned-To-Count Mike, here in Castle MaxMikeMoviesStein. Zis veek, ve are discussing a true feel-good romp that vill make ze cheeldren of de night ma…

High school, am I right? The combination of the onslaught of puberty, dealing with new people, peer pressure . . . everyone has their own nightmare. But what is the most terrifying thing about high school? Teenage girls. Well, if you’re a teenage boy, anyway (although I’ve heard this same thing from some former teenage girls so maybe I’m on to some…

Ah, the Moon. Distant. Mysterious. Probably not made of cheese (or that’s what they WANT you to believe). Its light is great for dancing . . . in. That’s what we call a “Moondance,” and what a marvelous night it is for one! Sometimes it’s a “Blue Moon”, sometimes we have to beg it to “Shine On, Harvest Moon.” There might be a “Man on the Moon!” See…

Welcome back, ‘Super Freaks’! We’re cool and groovin’ our ‘Good Times’ here in our “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3: The Rebelievening” and we’re going to ‘Get Down Tonight’ with that ‘Disco Inferno’ of a movie “Saturday Night Fever”! Why? Because Mike’s never seen it, so we’re going to ‘Turn the Beat Around’ in a ‘Celebration’ of the …

Oi, oi, oi, me old tatters and whiskey! In this week’s nobble and flonk, by which I mean “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3: The Rebelievening,” your ol’ nachos and carburetors Max and Mike are taking a bit of a what’s-that-pancreas at Guy Ritchie’s “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.” That’s a bit of the ol’ knee joints and lava lamp…

Hiya, folks! Good to see you here at the Max, Mike; Movies Diner! Sit wherever you like, fire up your podcast app and listen to our tasty selections! Today’s Special: “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That Part 3!” – 10 Bumpybux With “The ReBelievening” Sauce – 13 Bumpybux The Barry Levinson (A Reuben sandwich but with more Oscar potential) – 8 Bum…

Good evening one and all. We’ve got a ripping new series here, haven’t we? Yes, we have. We’re revisiting a favorite of ours with “I Can’t Believe You Haven’t Seen That 3: The Re-Believening.” Me old china Mike and I have come up with a little list each, listing movies everyone assumes we’ve seen but what ho, we bally haven’t, wot wot? We’re starti…

I looked at the recently-dug grave and read the name on cheap headstone: “Remember! You Asked for It!” I considered how ironic irony can be. Ironically. It was hard reading the headstone upside down, and the heavy rain was pouring up my nose. Maybe hanging upside down from a tree branch wasn’t the most dignified way to lay a perfectly good series t…

This week’s penultimate entry in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series comes from Keith Wright and is heavily rooted in the lyricism and magic of the Harlem Renaissance, a time of remarkable literature, theater, and art. One of the historically-real main characters in this film, Bruce Nugent was known as a great jazz poet and he has inspired me …

Ok, before anyone gets too excited, I should point out that this week’s entry in “Remember! You Asked For It!”, suggested by Tyler Stewart, is NOT the much-awaited sequel to “Kubo and the Two Strings.” I know, I know, I was disappointed too but I should have been tipped off by the fact that the movie would have skipped strings three, four, and five…

Welcome to another episode in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series! This week’s suggestion comes from crime-solving landscape artist Degsy O’Brien (I’m almost certain that’s what he does for a living) and it’s going to be a delightful romp! Yes, I’m pretty sure that this movie is an in-depth look into the life of famous Danish author Hans Chris…

Hello, dear listeners and fellow members of the proletariat! Welcome to another episode in our series “Remember! You Asked For It!” Well, we find ourselves in a teensy-weensy pickle this week. It seems that somehow, someone got ahold of a pre-post copy of this week’s show about our good chum Daaaaaave’s suggestion “The Death of Stalin.” How zany! G…

Hullo, children! Hullo! Welcome back to Uncle Max, Uncle Mike; Uncle Movies. Are you sitting comfortably? Good! This week in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series, we’ve got a question from young Julie O’Malley who wants to know all about “The Fifth Element.” Well, Julie, you must be the smartest one in your class! Because not everyone is intere…

Once again, most elegant and finely-manicured listeners, you spoke and we listened! This week, for our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series, the most worthy Brian Mundo requested a review of an obscure, rather confusing Stephen King sequel involving a rabid St. Bernard stalking the great singer-songwriter Gorden Sumner and his recently-discovered c…

WOOO! ROCK AND ROLL! ‘ALLO, DUBUQUE! WE! ARE! MAX! MIKE! MOVIES! AND WE ARE HERE TO ROCK YOUR STREETS UNTIL THEY FIRE! YEEEEAHHHH! If I can bring it down for a moment, Mike and I are thrilled to be here, this latest stop on our “Remember! YOU Asked For It!” tour. And we are gonna RAAWWWWKKK! YEEEEEAHHH! Our show has it all! An evil Willem Dafoe! Ri…

A new year and a . . . slightly new series. Technically we started this one last year with “Wicked” but . . . look, stop nit-picking ok? Why must you hound me so?! Where will it all end?! Well, not with this week’s entry in our “Remember! You Asked For It!” series, that’s for gosh-darn sure. And speaking of being gosh-darned, this week’s entry deal…

Great shrieking clams, we’ve got us a brand-new series for you all! Oh yes we do, oh yes we do! Mike and I were thinking (a rare and dangerous occurrence) and we figured why should WE do all the work picking out movies like a couple of chumps, when we can ask you, our erudite, well-coifed, and splendidly handsome listeners for your suggestions! Whi…

All good things must come to an end . . . and on an unrelated note, so must our series “Ready When You Are, C.B.,” movies about making movies. We’re closing out with a somewhat less-than-well-known mocumentary about a fictional film team attempting to make a movie covering the entire Bible. As you might guess, things do not go well. I don’t want to…

Welcome, welcome to another entry in our series “Ready When You Are, C.B.”, where we address . . . what the hell? Who are all these people? Where did these cameras come from? What the Hec Ramsey is going . . . hah? What release? I never agreed to allow a film crew to use the Max, Mike; Movies studios for a film location! Hey! Put that down! That’s …

Ah, the Matinee; this may seem a strange subject for our series “Ready When You are, C.B.” but really, I think a film about these glorious sea mammals is long overdue. Gentle, plant-eating, and able to swim in bursts up to 20mph, these so-called sea cows may have in fact evolved from a four-legged land animal over 20 million years ago . . . hmmm. S…

Ok . . . ok . . . come on, Max . . . you’ve done over three hundred of these . . . it’s not that hard . . . just write. Just write SOMETHING. Oh god, why does a blank white screen look so horrible? Why is my keyboard laughing at me? Come on . . . it’s just another entry in the “Ready When You Are, C.B.”, just another movie about making movies. What…

Ah, Hollywood! The land of glitter and sparkle! The land where dreams are born, struggle, and eventually end up in a miserable job in middle-management . . . I mean dreams come true! Obviously that’s what I meant, and you all know it! Hollywood is the most terribly important industry in all of The United Hollywoods of America; just ask Hollywood! W…

Order, order! The Committee for “Ready When You Are, C.B.” will come to order! The witness has been sworn in and we are ready to proceed. The witness is reminded that failure to answer any of the committee’s questions will result in the witness being held in contempt . . . even more than they already are. Now then: are you now or have you ever been…

Welcome to another episode in our continuing stooooooory “Ready When You Are, C.B.!” movies by Hollywood, about Hollywood, smothered in Hollywood gravy! This week’s entry is a film from the late 80’s, forgotten by some but surprisingly influential to others: Robert Townsend’s “Hollywood Shuffle”. Is it a coincidence that a movie with this title cam…

Heeeyyyyyy, listeners! Sweeties, honeys, babies, pussycats, pumpkins! Fabulous to see you, totally mean that, been too long, what’s your latest project, that’s great, how’d the rehab stint go, glad to hear it, have they dropped the charges yet, absolutely terrif to hear that, gotta run, have your service call my service we’ll do breakfast lunch din…