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The CRASH BANG WALLOP Podcast

CRASH BANG WALLOP

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Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas discuss the most famous disasters of all time, along with lots of other terrible calamities you may never have even heard about! Every two weeks we'll take you through what went wrong, how it went wrong, and sort out whether it was Our Fault, or God's Fault. It’s dark, funny, bleak and sometimes a little bit sad, but always entertaining. If you’re tired of True Crime, but still want something a bit dark on your commute to work, you’ll love the CB Wallop Podcast.
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It’s 1944, it’s Hartford Connecticut and this may be the most horrible episode we’ve ever done. In what grisled old circus types are already calling the Greatest Podcast on Earth, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the truly terrible Hartford Circus Fire - the awesome conflagration that descended on the good people of Connecticut one b…
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It’s 1961. It’s North Carolina USA and a Boeing B52 Stratofortress has just mislaid two 3.8 megaton Hydrogen Bombs somewhere in the sky above Goldsboro. In what, despite the best efforts of Pentagon whitewashers, we now know to be the newly declassified 44th episode of the CB Wallop podcast, join Phil Lucas and Phil Jerrod as they discuss The Golds…
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It’s 1935, it’s Long Island, New York and a group of extremely naughty monkeys are about to stage the easiest prison break since David Copperfield pretended to be locked in Alcatraz. In what hundreds of fast-talking New York monkeys are already throwing their excrement at, it's the 43rd episode of the CB Wallop podcast. Join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lu…
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It’s 1994. It’s forty-thousand feet over the Siberian tundra and Captain Yaroslav Vladimirovich Kudrinsky is about to take part in the worst bring your child to work day since Daddy Day Care 3. In what panicking Russian pilots are already radioing in as the 42nd edition of the CB Wallop Podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss Aerofl…
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It's 1988. It's as close to Broadway as makes no odds and a load of luvvie theatre types are about to sit through the worst high school musical since High School Musical. In what puritanical religious mothers are already wringing their hands might be the 41st edition of the CB Wallop podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss Carrie: …
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It's the 18th Century. Britain is deep at war with France (probably) and Londoners are getting slaughtered on a ‘throat-searing, eye-reddening, vomit-churning hell broth’ of fermented juniper berries and sulphuric acid. In what powder-faced, big-wigged, coffee house creeping Georgians are already calling the 40th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast jo…
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It’s 1992. It’s the Phillipines and PepsiCo have just made the biggest computer error since Newscorp bought MySpace. In what discerning listeners are already calling the Podcast of a New Generation, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Pepsi Numbers Promotion - the Pepsi Challenge that created 40,000 Filipino millionaires, then quick…
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It’s 1916. It’s Uplees just outside Faversham, and the good people of the Explosives Loading Company are about to open the biggest hole in Kent since Yates’s Wine Lodge. In what will almost certainly be the most explosive episode of the CB Wallop Podcast ever join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Great Faversham Explosion of 1916 - th…
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It’s 2018. It’s Elne in Southern France, and the Mayor has just cut the ribbon on one of the the most worthless art collections since they closed the last Athena. In what the Policeman from ‘Allo ‘Allo would have called “Zee dirty-tree epi-sod of the CB Wallop podcast Reneeeé” join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Musee Etienne Terrus…
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It's 2001, it's Ontario, Canada and the town of Timmins’ most famous absentee country music superstar is finally being opened to the public in the form of a building. In what might be the least impressive episode of the CB Wallop podcast in country-pop history, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Shania Twain Center. The gigantic mo…
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It’s 1967, it’s the Scilly Isles and a jumbo-ized mega tanker full of dirty oil is about to cause more damage to the Cornish economy than Brexit, Thatcher and Fleetwood Mac put together. In what must be the crudest installment of the CB Wallop Podcast EVER join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The SS Torrey Canyon - the gigantic oil tanke…
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It’s the 20th of January, or the 30th of January 1606, or 1607. It’s Bristol, England and the surfing along the Bristol Channel is much, much better than usual. In what bawdy, wide ruff’d Stuart noblemen are already calling the 34th chapt’r of thine CB Wallop Podcast, thou artless Banbury cheese, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The …
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It’s 1990, it’s Frankfurt Germany and a shadowy music producer is about to drop the biggest pop bombshell since Robbie left Take That. In what talent-free 80s mime artists are already lip syncing is the 33rd episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss Milli Vannill - the big shouldered Euro-pop megastars who so…
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It’s 1971. It’s Iraq and Saddam Hussein has just imported 95,000 tonnes of chemically coated Mexican grain so dangerous I’m surprised we didn’t have a war about it. In what Iraqi Information Ministers are already denying is the 31st episode of the CB Wallop Podcast you Americans dogs! join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the Iraq Poison …
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It’s 2007, it’s Chatham in Kent and nestled in a gigantic aluminium box above a Nando's chicken shop is the most authentic recreation of Victorian England since The Muppet's Christmas Carol. In what Disney cockneys are already proclaiming is the 31st episode of the CB Wallop Podcast -Maory Pop-inns! join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss D…
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It’s Christmas 1836, it’s Lewes on the south coast of England and a whole load of snugly Dickensian folk are about to get the worst surprise down the chimney since Jimmy Savile played Father Christmas. In what rosy-cheeked Victorian urchins are already singing is the 30th episode of the CB Wallop podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they disc…
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It’s 1975, it’s fancy central London and at Moorgate Underground Station a load of miserable commuters are waiting to catch the worst tube journey since Phil Lucas passed his kidney stones. In what vastly overpaid tube drivers are already complaining to their union is the 29th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, Join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as the…
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It’s 1955. It’s Le Mans, France and a quarter of a million people have turned out to watch one of the most boring sporting events on the planet - The Le Mans 24 Hour. In what rich, champagne-spraying playboys are already toasting as the 28th lap of the CB Wallop podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the Le Mans Motor Racing Disas…
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It's 1996. It's literally every country in the world (apart from Bermuda) and McDonald's have just released a burger specifically designed for wankers. In what fast food executives are already calling the Mc27th Deluxe episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Arch Deluxe - the burger for urban sophistica…
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It's 1883. It's The Victoria Hall Sunderland, and an out-of-town prestidigitator is about to take part in the worst theatrical experience since Mel Gibson played Hamlet. In what Health and Safety executives are warning has the potential to be the 26th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Victoria Hal…
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It’s 2019. It’s Haywards Heath, England, and Phil Jerrod’s left kidney is being haunted by a ghost made out of meat. In what appallingly under-appreciated NHS nurses are already calling the 25th episode of the CB Wallop podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they present The Story of ‘Kuato’ - the five kilogram cyst that forced Phil into the mo…
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It's 1981. It's Acton, California, and a whole load of shiny, happy American movie people are being attacked by lions. In what terrified, scalped and bleeding cinematographers are already calling the 24th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss Roar! - surely the maddest, most dangerous, and least responsibl…
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It's 1972. It's London, England and in Battersea Park loads of kids are riding a roller coaster with a worse safety record than Doctor Octopus. In what queazy funfair patrons are already calling the 23rd episode of the CB Wallop Podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Big Dipper Roller Coaster Crash - the rotting 50s roller coas…
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It's 1518, It's medieval Strasbourg and Frau Troffea has just kicked off the least enjoyable dance off since Ann Widdecombe did Strictly. In what banging medieval shape-makers are already calling the 22nd episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the Strasbourg Dancing Plague - The strange and unexplained day…
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It's 1944. It's wartime Devon, and a shed load of American troops have just turned up in a tiny British village to take part in Operation Tiger. In what displaced Devon locals are already calling the 21st episode of the CB Wallop Podcast my luvver, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the Slapton Sands Tragedy - the gigantic dress rehear…
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It's 1984, it's Madhya Pradesh in India, and underneath Bhopal's Union Carbide pesticide plant tank E-610 is about ready to blow its hinges. In what panicking chemical factory employees are already calling the 20th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Bhopal Gas Disaster - the huge toxic cloud that en…
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It's 1958. It's the US of A, and The Ford Motor Company have just released a car so incredibly fugly not even Frank Sinatra can shift any units. In what original cast members of Grease are already calling the wela-wela-wela-19th! episode of the CB Wallop podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Ford Edsel - the fifties muscle car…
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It's 1982. It's war-torn Afghanistan, and that's just about as much as the Soviets will let us tell you. In what Russian censors are already redacting as the XXXX episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Salang Tunnel Fire - the massive fire in a terrifying tunnel under a terrifying mountain in a terrify…
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It's 1987. It's the Port of Zeebrugge, and a whole load of Sun readers are on their way home from a lovely trip to Belgium. In what worried podcasters are already calling the 17th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the The Zeebrugge Ferry Disaster - the 8000 tonne ship that let in water, rolled on its s…
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It's 1858, It's Victorian Bradford, and 'Humbug' Billy is about to sell a batch of boiled mint lozenges ten-thousand times stronger than a Fisherman's Friend. In what Victorian Newsmen recount as a most woeful and melancholy episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Bradford Sweet Poisoning - the dreadful…
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It's 1985, it's Atlanta Georgia and in the underground lair of PROJECT KANSAS evil soft drink scientists are cooking up a batch of wholly anti-American liquid. In what 85% of blind taste-testers agree is the 15th episode of the CB Wallop podcast join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss NEW COKE - the diabolical black fluid that alienated mil…
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It's 1915, it's Gretna Green and a whole load of railway blokes are drinking tea in a signal box and not doing their bloody job properly. In what generations of train-spotters have already noted down as the 14th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Quintinshill rail disaster - the truly horrible trai…
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It's 1992, and the Hoover Suction Sweeper Company are about to launch a sales promotion that sucks harder than its Turbo-Power-Total vacuum cleaner. In what superstitious people still refuse to acknowledge is the 13th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Hoover Free Flights Fiasco - the insane sales …
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It's 1846, it's the Sierra Nevada and the Donner party have just made the worst dinner plans since Jamie Oliver did jerk chicken rice. In what hungry gold prospectors once called the 12th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Donner Party - the group of covered wagon settlers who left too late, went t…
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It's 1982. It's Belfast and John Delorean has just built a car capable of going Back to the Future - but not 0-60 in under three weeks. In what Top Gear magazine will one day review as the best episode 11 EVER join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The DeLorean Motor Company - the car factory that was built in a war zone, paid for by Sammi…
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It's 1977. It's Tenerife and a bunch of angry Canarian separatists are about to set off the worst chain reaction since Diana Ross. In what many single-issue agitators are already calling the 10th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss The Tenerife Air Disaster - two massive planes, two football-obsessed ai…
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It's the 90s and Noel's House Party is one of the biggest shows on British television! In what must now be the ninth episode of the CB Wallop Podcast join comedians Phil Lucas and Phil Jerrod as they discuss The Crinkley Bottom Theme Park - The fun day out in Somerset that alienated the locals, weirded out the staff and salted the earth of one of B…
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It's 1878, it's the River Thames and a whole load of Victorians have just had a lovely day out in Gravesend. In what Instagram Influencers are already calling the eighth edition of the CB Wallop Podcast join comedians Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the SS Princess Alice Disaster - the boat crash that's so utterly horrid it's going to be…
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It's 1906, It's San Francisco and it's far too early in the morning to deal with this sort of nonsense. In what the Collins Concise Dictionary will one day define as the seventh edition of the CB Wallop Podcast join comedians Phil Lucas and Phil Jerrod as they discuss THE GREAT SAN FRANCISCO EARTHQUAKE - the disaster that levelled one of the world'…
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It's 1992, and ITV are wiping the floor with the BBC using a soap made out of television. In what must now be numerically the 6th episode of the CB Wallop Podcast join comedians Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss ELDORADO - the ten million quid soap opera no-one asked for, no-one watched and everyone hated. Do they now use the 8 million qui…
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It's 1952 and London looks like the set of an 80s music video. In what historians will one day call the fifth episode of the CB Wallop Podcast, join Comedians Phil Lucas and Phil Jerrod as they discuss the THE BLACK FOG OF 1952 - the terrible sulphurous cloud of soot and pollution that cloaked London for a good five days causing the deaths of over …
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It's 1879, it's South Africa, and Britain fancies nicking another bit of the world that don't belong to her. In what is fast becoming the fourth episode of the CB-Wallop podcast, join comedians Phil Lucas and Phil Jerrod as they discuss THE BATTLE OF ISANDLWANA - the campaign everyone forgot we'd lost becasue we were too busy cheering on Michael Ca…
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It's 1991, it's the Royal Albert Hall and Gerald Ratner is about to tell a joke that he'll regret for the rest of his life. Join Comedians Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the rise and fall and rise again of an 80s jewellery mogul. Do you like jewellery mate!? Yeah, have some fx@#ing jewellery. Music by Steve Adam Production by Mike Sande…
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Welcome to ancient Pompeii - where it's all cocks, cocks, cocks, lava and cocks. Join comedians Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in AD79. Was God angry about all the cocks? Yes… yes he was… Theme music by Steve Adam Production by Mike Sandeman - http://www.northbrightonrecording.co.uk/ Opening News item: Bri…
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Welcome to the Crash Bang Wallop podcast! Join comedians Phil Jerrod and Phil Lucas as they discuss some of the most famous disasters of all time, along with lots of other terrible calamities you may never have even heard about! Every two weeks we'll take you through what went wrong, how it went wrong, and sort out whether it was Our Fault, or God'…
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