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Open Adoption Project

Lanette & Shaun Nelson

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This podcast is about connecting. It's about growing. It's about stretching. In society nowadays, it's easy to fall into echo chambers. This is not an echo chamber. Open Adoption Project is a community dedicated to listening and learning, and building relationships based on healthy respect and communication. The Open Adoption Project focuses on improving adoptee experiences by encouraging open communication between all members of the adoption constellation, nurturing ongoing open adoption re ...
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Sharolyn Swenson, an adoptee, joins our special NAM book club episode to discuss Christina Baker Kline’s book “Orphan Train.” If you haven’t read the book yet, please skip this episode to avoid potential spoilers. Sharolyn shares her thoughts and insights after reading the novel. Lanette and Sharolyn delve into the book’s portrayal of adoption and …
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An adoptee shares her personal journey of adoption and the impact of the book, "The Girls Who Went Away," by Ann Fessler, also an adoptee, in this special NAM book club episode. "The Girls Who Went Away" is a memoir/biography about mothers who relinquished their children for adoption before Roe v. Wade on her perspective towards his birth mother, l…
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Adoptee Devanie Roberts discusses the book "Far from the Tree" by Robin Benway in this special National Adoption Month book club episode. Please do not listen to these episodes if you have not read these books and do not want to potentially hear spoilers. "Far From the Tree" is discussed through lenses of adoption, and Devanie shares her thoughts a…
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Dr. Jeff Thompson discusses how we can establish and maintain psychological safety within relationships. He shares how active listening can enhance connections. We also discuss how to address conflict and find resolutions. This episode offers incredibly valuable insights for anyone looking to improve important relationships, both within the adoptio…
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In our last episode, we discussed Family Communication Patterns Theory (FCPT), which describes how families communicate and create a shared social reality. The theory was developed by Koerner and Fitzpatrick in 2002. In this episode, we discuss how FCPT and how families can improve and enrich communication, applying Dr. Murray Bowen’s Family System…
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In this episode, Shaun and Lanette discuss the Family Communication Pattern Theory, by McLeod and Chaffee, and its adoption application. focusing on conformity and conversation orientation, and how these patterns can impact families, particularly in the context of adoption. They analyzed various family dynamics portrayed in movies and TV shows, ide…
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Get the guide, FREE of charge, here: Substance Exposure in Utero: A Guide For Prospective Adoptive Parents Hi Adoption Friends, We’re Shaun and Lanette, co-hosts and creators of the Open Adoption Project. We hope this guide is a helpful tool for you as you counsel and discuss how you are able to support and help children exposed to substances in ut…
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The purpose of this research is to understand the context and the decisions women made when deciding to place a child for adoption. To Participate, need to: Be age 18 or older Identify as a woman Speak & Understand English Have placed a child for adoption in the US after ‘94 Currently reside in the US Participants will complete: (1) approx. 90 min.…
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Stephen Rowley, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist practicing in Bainbridge Island, Washington. Dr. Rowley's book, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, was published by Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023. With his background as a psychotherapist and educator, his interest in Jungian psychology and Zen Buddhism, Dr. Rowley discusses what fundament…
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Amy Seek shares her experiences with adoption as a birth mom, and how her relationship with her son has evolved. She shares about the importance of transparency and honesty in open adoption conversations and the need for improved ethical practices as we strive to better support mothers and their children. Amy’s book “God and Jetfire: Confessions of…
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Adoptee Lexi Condie shares her experience in this touching episode. Lexi was adopted by Aymee and Reed at age 8 along with her older brother Tyler, who was the son of Reed. Aymee and Reed decided it would be best to let Lexi and Tyler stay in contact with their mother (Stevoni), who was in prison at that time. Over the years Lexi developed a fantas…
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In this episode, we learn about the experience of foster care alumni Cadon Riley, including his experience being adopted and later returning to the foster care system. Cadon and Shaun discuss some of the challenges Cadon has experienced, and his hopes for how our community can improve experiences for other youth in care and in need of support. Cado…
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Kaira Dark is a birth mom who placed her son for adoption about 20 years ago. The adoption began as semi-open, and became open later. Kaira shares about her struggles with the trauma she experienced and how her experiences and perceptions have shifted over time. We love hearing from birth moms and really enjoyed learning from Karia's experiences.…
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In this episode, Lanette and Alisha discuss establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries, both in open adoptions and when caring for children in foster care. We address some frequently asked questions regarding this subject, including how to create healthy communication patterns and how to mediate challenging situations.…
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There are two kinds of openness in adoption—structural and communicative. Both are important in supporting identity and development of adopted individuals, as supported by academic research. We discuss the differences between structural and communicative openness and tips for adoptive parents for practicing openness in a more adoptee-centered way. …
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Christelle Pellecuer returns to the podcast to discuss some tough questions and challenging aspects of adoption, particularly transracial and international adoption, in this episode. She discusses the importance of honesty and transparency in adoption. She also considers what potential impacts of a lack of structural and communication openness may …
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We have a new adoption openness guide, “The Openness Guide for Adoptive Parents: What You Should Know About Open Adoption,” which was released today. The message we often see in the adoption community is, "Open adoptions are good! Do them!" with little guidance on how to make it work. This guide and workbook bridges that gap and teaches adoptive pa…
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Cultivating and nurturing any relationship takes work and dedication. Relationships in open adoption are sometimes hard to maintain. In this episode, we discuss some questions we’re asked frequently regarding how to move forward in adoption relationships when things get complicated, and considerations when trying to choose a path forward. In partic…
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We wrap up National Adoption Month with a discussion about disenfranchised grief and some highlights and lessons learned during 100 episodes of the Open Adoption Project podcast (so far). Disenfranchised grief is grief that is not recognized as valid by society, and is prevalently experienced in the adoption community. We talk about how those who a…
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In this episode we introduce a discussion and questions regarding the similarities and differences between embryo adoption and traditional adoption. A guest couple shares their experience with embryo adoption. We share results from a small survey we posted on our instagram about embryo adoption, and discuss the section on embryo adoption from “The …
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Julie was adopted as an infant with her twin sister. In this episode she shares how medical issues pushed her to connect with her birth family nearly 50 years after being adopted. She writes extensively about finding out who you are, where you belong, and making sense of it. Julie’s debut memoir, “Twice a Daughter: A Search for Identity, Family, an…
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When we recently discussed orphan trains, one thing that stood out to us was that the policies and practices during this time were adoptive parent-focused. This problem persisted over time, like during the Baby Scoop Era. In this episode, we discuss why this focus on adopters is problematic, and actionable ways adoptive parents can shift the focus …
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In this National Adoption Awareness Month special, we hear adoptee Sara Odicio, LSW, of Core of Adoption. She talks about ruptured attachments. We then discuss some of Dr. Bruce D. Perry’s research on child attachment and development, and eight ways caretakers can help nurture children who struggle with secure attachments. We reference two articles…
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In this episode, foster care trainer Liz Rivera shares key takeaways from the book, What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry. Her experience working at Utah Foster Care for more than 2 decades shines in this conversation about childhood trauma and finding peace and healing.…
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In this episode of our National Adoption Month series, our Director of Communications, Alisha Gallagher, interviews Anna Maria DiDio, an author and adoptive parent. Anna Maria shares her experience of realizing the importance of nurturing cultural connections and helping individuals who were adopted preserve their cultural identities.…
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This episode dives into the history of orphan trains in the United States. The orphan trains operated from 1854 through 1929, relocating from about 200,000 children. In this episode, we discuss the orphan train using accounts from a historical nonfiction book called “Orphan Train Rider” by Andrea Warren. This book primarily follows the memories of …
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Christelle was adopted at 10 year old from Madagascar to France after her mother passed away. She shares about her experience as a black adoptee growing up in a white community, about the challenges of being an International adoptee with very little knowledge about her story, and the cultural changes in her life. Learn more on her website christell…
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Doctor Abbie Goldberg is a professor at Clark University in Massachusetts. As a professor of psychology, her research regarding adoptive and diverse families, open adoption, transracial adoption, and foster care have immense importance in the adoption community. In this episode, she shares pieces of her extensive knowledge, including the importance…
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Stevoni Doyle and Aymee Condie are mothers connected initially through shared love for their children. In this episode, these strong women share their story, beginning with Stevoni’s children being cared for by Aymee. Over the years, they have built a beautiful family and strong friendship, where they support one another in their roles as mothers. …
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In this episode we hear from Robert Reese. Robert was adopted from South Korea as an infant, and was raised in the United States. When he was 16, he began searching for his birth mom. He shares what searching was like for him, and how his adoptive parents supported him in that endeavor. He also discusses racial and cultural mirrors and thoughts reg…
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In this episode, we hear from Professor Michael Grand, the father of the term “adoption constellation.” Professor Grand shares highlights from his academic career as a psychology professor in and researcher who spent years studying a myriad of aspects relating to adoption. He discusses his professional research and his personal experience as a step…
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Joanna Pace, a teacher and adoptive parent, shares lessons she’s learned about helping children set boundaries, and what led her to write the “Setting Boundaries” song with her musician husband and partner at Hopscotch Songs. She talks about how parents can help children advocate for their safety and why boundaries matter, both in the adoption worl…
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Adoptee Allison Olson, author of the children’s book “Surrounded by Love,” discusses the impact of the “lucky adoptee” narrative and adoptee wellness. The vast spectrum of what “open adoption” means and how openness impacts experiences across the adoption constellation are subjects Allison is well-versed in. She discusses the importance of adoptee …
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In this episode we hear from Eileen Skahill, an adoptee and academic who studies adoption. She shares her experiences and perspectives and also discusses a current research project she’s working on. Are you and adoptee that is interested in participating in Eileen's current research? If so, please contact her at eskahill@uccs.edu…
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Lauren Eisenhauer is a birth mom who placed her daughter for adoption 18 years ago, and maintained contact throughout her daughter’s childhood. She talks about her experience choosing adoption as a teenager, and what that looked like, including naming her daughter with the adoptive parents and making choices about what she wanted things to look lik…
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Patrick Hawes, an adoptee raised in a multicultural home, shares his experience being adopted as an infant and reuniting with his biological mom later in life. He shares different struggles that came with not talking about adoption in the home and the healing that came with finding his family. Sign up for our newsletter here, apply for free assista…
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In this episode, we discuss some of the complexities of adoptee reunion with Heather Rodriguez. Heather Rodriguez is an adoptee as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She shares raw experiences and emotions from her reunion experiences and her thoughts on adoptees’ need to connect with and understand their ancestry.…
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In this episode, we hear thoughts about searching for one’s biological family from five adoptees– Sara Odacio, John Saintignon, Amanda Justice, Devanie Roberts, and Amy Wilkerson– including thoughts on preparing for potential outcomes, support, self-care, and connecting. Devanie Roberts, an adoptee who we talked to on the show in March, is going to…
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In this episode, we hear from Brady Murray of RODS Heroes, a nonprofit organization aspiring to give voices to children in foster homes and institutions in international countries. Brady and his wife Andrea became parents of a son with Down syndrome in 2007. Over the following months and years, they discovered what a blessing it is to experience li…
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Devanie grew up in a very open adoption during a time when open adoption was so rare that a Seattle news station flew into California, where she grew up, and did a special about her open adoption when she was a baby. While she grew up with a very open adoption and visited her biological mother and her side of the family, Devanie did not know her bi…
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Sara was adopted at birth during a time when open adoption was nearly unheard of, but she grew up in a very open adoption. In today’s episode, she shares her thoughts regarding her experiences, talking about many of the complexities of adoption and relationships. She talks about creating psychological safety for individuals to share their feelings …
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